Hard Work
Is it hard word because it’s hard work? Or is it hard work because when you start out you don’t know what the fuck you are doing? That’s the question. If it’s the latter, that means that you can make things easier with experience, but, you have to try, and continue to try, and try again, most likely unsuccessfully, until you finally figure it out. But that’s only when you really want it. Otherwise, it’s hard work and leave it at that.
Time
I think the most important lesson in life is a confusing one. Life is short, but you have time. If you rush, you’ll miss it. It’s taken me almost 40 years to figure it out. I spent far too many years jumping from one thing to the next, afraid that if I spent too much time on one thing, I’ll never get everything I want done. But now my approach is different. I understand that life offers us limited time to accomplish what we want, but I also know that you need to slow down to see all the beauty around you, and that if you want to create something you can’t rush it.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, it was built over centuries. Billion and trillion dollar companies started from nothing before becoming the market dominating behemoths we know them as. Successful careers can start in the mailroom and span decades before reaching the c-suite. Works of art can take days, months, years, decades, and even centuries to complete, and even longer to receive recognition.
La Segrada Familia in Spain, which was started in 1882, and is still incomplete, offers a great example of this principle. It’s been over 100 years since it’s inception, and it is still not complete today. And yet nearly everyone that visits Barcelona goes to see it in its current unfinished form. It’s a reminder that beauty and craftsmanship are not just visible in a finished product, they are present in works in progress.
It’s easy to feel like time is running out and you need to pick up the pace if you’re ever going to accomplish anything. But it doesn’t have to be. There’s time to think, to observe, to plan, to enjoy, to acknowledge, to appreciate, to love, to support, and to embrace. And there is time to accomplish what you want. There is time for everything, but you have to make time for it.
Where to Invest
I wonder if it’s possible to ever really achieve happiness if you never invest in yourself. I don’t know whether that’s true or not, but what I do know is that the more I invest in myself the happier I feel. I’m also amazed at how many years I’ve spent investing in other peoples dreams, ideas, and interests, thinking that it would make me happy, when in reality I was just serving someone else. And I’m not saying invest like you would in a 401k, or in real estate, or in anything with a tangible ROI, although that could be part of your plan as well. I just mean investing in the things that arouse your interest and help you to grow.
It amazes me how often in my life I’ve talked myself off the ledge of diving into something I really wanted to do, and all of the excuses I could come up with. Time and money have always been the main reasons why I couldn’t do something, even if time and money were actually not an obstacle. Fear of the unknown and inexperience when it came to trying something new was another one. The perception others had was a distant third. But when it came to investing in other people, whether that was through long hours working, or helping fund a project, for some reasons those excuses never came up. In those situations there was no restrictions.
It wasn’t until I left work that I put this all together. That the key to success is investing in yourself. That the key to investing in yourself is having confidence in yourself. That was the main difference. When it came to others and their established and proven plans, it was easy to hop on board. But when it came to my silly interests or big ideas, they didn’t seem possible or necessary to pursue. Especially when other people had already rolled out a path I could follow.
Like, I wanted to take an introduction to writing class with a local writers workshop, but taking a class meant calling myself a writer, which felt uncomfortable, so I tried to talk myself out of it. I told myself that my writing wasn’t good enough to put in front of other people in in person (read as: I was afraid to receive criticism). And, the class wasn’t cheap. Did I really need to spend money on something that was just a hobby with no promise of financial return? I succeeded in making it too big of a commitment of time, money, and emotion, and put it on the back burner.
But a few weeks later I selected at random a video from Devotion to Writing on YouTube. The video spoke about how important it is for a new writer to surround themselves with a community of writers who understand what they are trying to do. I took it as a sign that I needed to take this class. So, I did. After 4 weeks of class I no longer felt silly about calling myself a writer. I felt accomplished and proud. I learned a lot about writing, but more importantly I grew as a result of my participation in the class, and I have been able to carry that growth into other parts of my life.
Similarly, a few months ago I started a kettlebell class with movement specialist Beth Lewis. Learning how to properly and effectively use kettlebells in my workouts has been a goal of mine for years, and the instruction from this class has got me as close to that goal as I’ve ever been. So when she announced a new bodyweight class over the summer, I really wanted take it, but I was hesitant and, again, tried to talk myself out of it.
The usual excuses were at play. Again, cost was a consideration. Don’t I already know bodyweight exercises? Do I need to pay for something I know? Do I want to make another time commitment? The class is Sunday mornings, and kettlebells is Saturday mornings, which meant weekend mornings were shot. And two exercise classes meant two less days of doing the workouts I want. It meant losing my flexibility. There was good reason it seemed to skip it.
But I kept thinking about the opportunity I had to learn from a master, and I kept telling myself this wasn’t just an exercise class, but an investment in myself. Like the writing class, there might not have been a guaranteed financial return in the future, but I knew the lessons learned would expand my knowledge and help me grow. So, ultimately I pulled the trigger, and based on our first class this past Sunday, I know I made the right decision.
But it does also mean investing from a financial perspective. I’ve had an idea for a mobile app for 7 years now. And for all those years I let it sit because it seemed crazy to invest in. I wasn’t confident I could bring it to life, and I couldn’t envision it’s success, so I couldn’t convince myself to put any money or time into it. The fear of investing in something that goes belly up outweighed the desire to do it. So, instead I let it just bounce around my head and taunt me.
But this year I finally made the move. In part because I heard someone say, “The ideas that never leave you are the ones I like to work on.” Hearing that gave me a push. I realized that if this idea stuck with my for 7 years, that it was unlikely to ever leave me unless I gave it a shot. Plus, I was finally feeling settled in my life, had the support of my partner, and was a year deep into pushing the idea of investing in myself. So, I hired a development company, and took two steps towards developing a limited product that would at least test the viability of the idea. I invested only what I could afford, and only what I would be ok with losing.
I’m expecting the final product in a couple of weeks. I have no idea if it will be successful, how much more work or money it’s going to take, but now that I’ve gotten this far, I can’t picture having never taking this chance. What fascinates me is how the script has flipped, and not trying seems like the crazy thing. Regardless of the success or failure of the idea, I’ve learned that I can be someone who brings an idea to life. And that is way more valuable than any financial return.
Do you have an idea you’ve been kicking around for awhile? A class you want to take? A skill you want to learn? A language you want to master? Somewhere you have always wanted to go? Do you tell yourself it’s stupid, expensive, time consuming, and no guaranteed return, so what’s the point? A lot of times we get a calling to do something, try something, or go somewhere, and it’s not immediately clear why or how it’s going to benefit us, so we make excuses and ignore it, and wait for clear instruction. But just because it isn’t clear, doesn’t mean there’s not a reason it came to you. You have to just do it, and trust that the reason will reveal itself, and that you’ll get something out of it you never expected.
I’ve realized that for most of my life I’ve been living a scarcity mindset. Just trying to keep the nuts I’ve gathered buried and safe for as long as I can. But I wasn’t happy, and success, true success, felt like it was eluding me. I wasn’t sad or depressed, not clinically anyway, but I wasn’t excited about the future. Now that I’m investing in myself, the future feels promising, and I know that the growth I experience will lead to confidence, and confidence will take me the rest of the way.
Invest in yourself.
Failure
There is only one type of failure, and that is not trying. Everything else is an attempt, and it doesn’t matter the outcome. Each attempt represents a step in the right direction. Failure is giving up on yourself, which is the one thing you should never do. Giving up on an idea, a diet, or a relationship, all are inevitable. It’s going to happen multiple times throughout your life. But that’s not the same as giving up on yourself and not trying.
The idea that we should never quit is one of the traps in this life that prevents us from ever trying in the first place, because we believe if we’re not going to be successful, then why try and risk failure. No, you should quit when your intuition is telling you to move on. Two quotes come to mind. “Fail fast,” and “Don’t spend time in delay.” If it feels like it’s time to pull the plug, then it probably is. Move on, and give yourself the opportunity to try something new. And never give up on what you want.
Try Something New
Try it on. We try on clothes all the time before we buy them. We need to see if they fit. If they look as good on us as they do on the hanger. If they feel nice. If they are worth the price. So why not try on more things in life before committing? Why not try on a lifestyle? A new diet? Why not try stopping a bad habit? Try it on for a week and see what happens. You can always go back to what you were doing before. To what you were eating before. AND, if it doesn’t work out, you can always try on something else.
That’s the kicker. Nothing is permanent. Mitakpa, Impermanence.
Know It Alls
I don’t think people think they know it all. I think people forget that everything they know was learned, and that creates a false sense of knowing. They assume that if there’s something to know, that they would already know it. It’s a slight, but important, difference in perspective.
It’s hard to remember a time when we didn’t know, when we first learned something, and what that felt like. And for many of us there comes a time when we stop learning. We finish school, settle into a job, and our life becomes predictable. We’re no longer pushed to learn, and learning no longer fees necessary as a result. We feel we have everything we need to know.
But if we assume that people think they know everything, then we assume that people are know it alls, and therefore aren’t interested in learning, and are unwilling to change. But if by contrast we understand that we’re all born unknowing, that we’ve all learned everything we know, and that we can be taught, then we can assume that if we can figure out how to get through to people, they can learn, and they can change.
Focus
Where should be point our focus?
I was doing Swiss ball passes the other day. It’s an exercise that involves the passing of a Swiss ball, aka a stability ball, between your hands and your feet as you lie on the ground in a hollow body position. During the movement I noticed that my attention was on the movement of my legs and arms, and not the ball. And, for the first time, this seemed odd to me, so I adjusted and tracked the ball.
Immediately after I locked onto the ball with my eyes I noticed that my form improved. Even as the ball went out of sight above my head, my form stayed dialed in. It turns out that the location of the ball is far more important in this exercise than where I, and how I, move my arms and legs. Knowing where the ball was fed my brain the information it needed to figure out the best position to put my body in. Trying to move my arms and legs correctly, and following their movement, was actually a distraction.
When I observe something like this, it makes me wonder where else in my life this type of behavior might be occurring, and causing more strain than it should. Where else in my life can I use this same logic to improve? Where else in my life am I being distracted while thinking I’m paying attention? Where else in my life could correcting my focus help put me in a better position to succeed? What minor adjustment could I make that would help get things done more efficiently with less effort and better results?
Relationships
Sharing responsibilities in a relationship is not only about carrying equal amounts of burden. It is about collaboration. Collaboration requires conversation, discussion, weighing the pros and the cons, and ultimately coming to a mutual decision. When one person does it all, it leads to breakdowns in relationships. But not because one person is responsible for carrying the load, although resentment can build, but because when a serious issue arises the couple, having rarely collaborated before, lacks the experience and skills needed to work through it.
If by contrast a couple is constantly working together and communicating about every decision and detail in their shared lives, from where to put a new tree, and what to cook for Christmas, what to feed the kids, to where to live, and whether or not to pursue that business idea, then when conflicts between them arise, they will be well versed enough to work through them.
They will know when to speak, when to listen, when to be forceful, and when to acquiesce. They will be open and receptive, and understand how to come to an agreement, and be able to move forward even if they didn’t get their way. Sharing responsibility is about more than shouldering the burden, although at the surface that is how we usually view it. It is about working together for the best possible outcome in all situations, and the more practice you have with the benign and fun stuff, the easier it will be to get through the tough things.
Balance
For 99 percent of people the goal should be sustainability and balance. Losing weight is not the goal. Getting healthier is not the goal. Making more money is not the goal. These are the things that emerge when a sustainable and balanced life are achieved, but they are not the goals.
Find the spots in your life that are out of balance, out of alignment, and focus on achieving homeostasis in those areas. Fix your sleep. Give up sweet treats with added sugar. Complete a project you’ve been putting off. Go visit that friend or family member you’ve been threatening to go see. Make yourself a delicious meal, and then do it again, and again. Get rid of something that makes you miserable. Like answering emails between 6 pm and 6 am. End a relationship that only serves the other person, and only brings you a black cloud.
Find the points of imbalance and slowly, methodically, and intentionally, correct them over time, and eventually your weight, relationships, health, finances, and overall happiness will improve. Anticipate and be ready for setbacks, and don’t let them discourage you. Realize that they are part of the process, that old habits die hard, and new ones take time to develop. Every setback should be acknowledged as progress. It means you’re pushing up against something hard and it’s pushing back.
It’s not going to give in so easily, but neither are you. You’re moving towards balance, and a life of stability.
Hypocrisy
People are arguing about whether or not people in Gaza are starving. People arguing about this are not starving. People arguing about this have never missed a meal in their lives. People arguing about this are deciding what they’ll have for dinner tonight. Should they go to the store and cook? Should they order take out? Should they go out to eat? What are they in the mood for? Well, last night was Italian, and tomorrow is sushi, so maybe something light tonight like Mediterranean.
Some people get to decide what they will eat, when they will eat, how much they will eat, who will prepare their food, how they will prepare their food, and they also get to debate whether someone else is “actually” starving or not. They get to weigh in on what qualifies as “starving” versus overreacting, being dramatic, and just being hungry.
And they see that as ok. They miss the hypocrisy. And all around us we see it as normal to be in a position to debate someone else’s well being and livelihood, while our own lives go on unaffected and uninterrupted.
Expectations
Most humans don’t do things they’ve never learned or don’t understand. That is basically the rationale as to why someone does one thing and not the other. One they were taught, and the other one they weren’t. One they understand, and the other they don’t. But we all assume everyone knows what we know, and we assume we were born with the knowledge and insights we have. But we weren’t.
Everyone is born with the same lack of knowledge and understanding, and we learn from our environment. The people, examples, and experiences we grow up with. So it’s crazy to me when someone from one side of the world expects someone on the other side of the world, or someone from the other side of a city, town, or neighborhood even, to know what they know, and understand what they understand.
My fiancee and I have a saying. “You could have been a horse born on Cumberland Island, or you could have been a horse born at the track.” Cumberland Island, where wild horses are protected and praised, is a majestic paradise for horses. The track is like being born in a labor camp. They might be of the same species, but these two horses are going to live drastically different lives, have drastically different experiences, and therefore have very different views of humans, nature, and the world.
No one would look upon these two horses and expect them to act the same, but when it comes to humans we do. We project what we know onto everyone around us, and ridicule and condemn others when they don’t act in accordance to our expectations. Never contemplating the fact that that could of been you and you wouldn’t even know it.
Where would you choose to be born if given the choice? I know my choice. Cumberland Island all damn day.
Change
I’ve been accused of changing more than once in my life by people who “know me.” But there’s an alternative consideration. That I never was the person everyone knew. That it’s hard as a child to really know who you are and not be influenced by the environment around you. Or even as a young adult, or young professional entering the work force.
More often than not, you’re just going with what you know and what you see around you. Rarely, if ever, stopping to think, “Is this what I actually want to be doing? Is this making me happy? Or is it just familiar?” And even if you do have that moment of question, it can be hard to answer without knowing what the other possibilities are.
I grew up in a house where I was required to go to college. And, while it was never said, it was implied, at least from my perspective, that after college I would get a job, get married, buy a house, and start a family. And while it never felt like the right plan for me, for years I kind of went along with it. It’s embarrassing to admit, but at the time I couldn’t conceive of an alternative plan. I didn’t understand what else was possible, so I followed the one I’d seen play out around me and was comfortable with. But that’s just one example of many.
We fall into this trap with our beliefs too. We grow up thinking we believe something because the people around us believe something. We fall for it with our likes. We like what the people around us like. And dislike what they dislike. We think we’re interested in a sport, art, or certain food, because of something innate in us, when really it’s just something common amongst those around us.
So when we get older and, if were lucky and courageous enough, we take the opportunity to separate ourselves from what’s familiar, like the beliefs, likes, dislikes, and interests that saturate the environment we grew up in, we start to really learn about ourselves, and more often than not all of those things begin to change. From the outsiders perspective they believe you have changed, or someone changed you, or something in your environment is the reason.
But what they don’t understand, because they’ve never experienced it, is that it was in you all along, waiting for something or someone to ignite it.
Perspective
When we moved into our house last year our neighbor came over to see what we had done to the backyard. On the walk back she commented about how much she hated the ground cover that lined the path on the side of our house. She had the same ground cover, but she ripped it up a few years ago because she was gardening one day and found a snake.
“A rattlesnake?” I asked.
Both my neighbor and my fiancee tst tsted me and said, in almost unison, “Of course not!”
Well if it wasn’t a rattlesnake, and therefore not threatening, then why did it leave such an impression, and why even mention it…
It’s a fascinating story to me about perspective. To me, a garden snake is not worth mentioning or even remembering, unless it was in the context of sharing the good news that we have another animal living in our garden. But to someone with a fear of snakes, albeit an irrational one as garden snakes are harmless, it is a tale of caution, and a reason to destroy the snake’s home.
And it is that same irrational fear that the people in charge play on to convince us that our wars, operations, and conflicts are just. Only it’s not snakes were told to be afraid of, it’s certain people and races. And an irrational fear of people is sometimes all a person needs to decimate their lives.
Relationships
I used to think that trust in a relationships meant telling the truth about where you were, what you did, and who you were with. But now I realize that’s just foundational, and the bare minimum you should expect from your partner. Strong relationships are based on trust of a different kind. Trusting that when you’re being foolish, your partner is going to tell you that you’re being foolish, and when you’re trying to be courageous, that your partner will encourage your courageousness. And trust that they’re going to know the difference, and be honest about it when the time comes.
My buddy is thinking about leaving the corporate world. After 15 successful years of building a nest egg, and moving up the corporate ladder, he’s beginning to wonder, “Isn there more to life than this?” and so he’s starting to explore the idea of leaving, and taking a year or two off. We had him over for dinner recently when he told us. He laid it all out, and we helped him weigh the pros and the cons. We asked questions about his biggest fears around leaving, what he might want to do instead. We threw out ideas for resigning, discussed timelines, and gave suggestions based on our own experiences and what we know about him.
Finally after about an hour of discussing it I asked, “What does your wife think you should do?”
I know his wife very well, and I’m very fond of her. She’s a smart, funny, successful, no nonsense woman who deeply loves my friend. And so it dawned on me, who cares what I think, if she believes he should leave, then he should leave. If she believes he shouldn’t, he shouldn’t. Because, lucky for my friend, he’s found the woman that he can trust to tell him when he’s being foolish and encourage him when he’s being courageous.
“She’s all about it,” he replied. “She thinks I should quit, and take time off.” When he said that I told him we had our answer and that he should stop searching. And it was the first time the importance of a partner you could trust was that crystal clear to me.
Concerning
I find it concerning that not everyone is concerned with the president’s use of the word slaughter. As in, “There has already been great death and destruction, but there is still time to make this slaughter, with the next already planned attacks being even more brutal, come to an end. Iran must make a deal, before there is nothing left.”
The open acknowledgement of what it really is, a slaughter, versus what it is reported to be, targeted defensive strikes, is mind blowing. But even wilder than that is the mild mannered reactions or no reaction at all from mass media and independent journalists. It’s been more of just a regurgitation of what was said, just part of the developing story.
It’s not that he’s first president to support a slaughter, we have a long history of that. In fact, my lifetime has been filled with them, and it’s likely yours has a well. And he won’t be the last. But he might be the first to call it out in real time, AND try to legitimize it as a negotiation tactic.
If you’re from the U.S. you know, or should know, that our history is littered with slaughters, although we don’t call them that. We call them wars, or operations, or conflicts. And we enter these wars, operations, and conflicts because there’s a resource we need like oil, land, labor, fruit, or rare earth minerals. But we don’t say that, we say it’s to fight terror, or free people from oppression, or stop the spread of a dangerous ideology.
Our president’s tell us we’re doing everything right, and we’re doing everything we can to stop what’s happening. And despite knowing what’s happening behind the scenes, the truth of the war, operation, or conflict, we hear those words and it gives us hope that our prayers might actually be answered, and that maybe we’re wrong. We don’t know what’s really going on.
But all hope goes out the window when the guy in charge calls it like it is, a slaughter, and no one flinches. It’s twisted, but maybe it’s what we need as a country to finally wake up. To stop believing all of the lies. To understand that when the president says “I’m doing everything I can to broker a ceasefire,” but despite his seemingly genuine intention the destruction continues, that what he’s actually saying is, “The slaughter will continue until we reach a deal.”
Misconceptions
One of the biggest changes in my life was realizing that things, big projects, don’t have to be done all at once. Not even in one day. I’ve finally figured out that even a backyard project could be pieced out over days. Day 1, measure. Day 2, pick up the lumber and hardware. Day 3, cut. Day 4, assemble and install. It doesn’t have to be done all at once, and it doesn’t have to be done right now.
I’ve lived under those misconceptions for a long time. The idea that something had to be done all at once, right now. And it stopped me from starting many projects because I couldn’t see how to get it done based on those timelines. But things take time, and so it’s ok to take time. Make a plan. Check that it makes sense. Gather who and what you need.
Don’t overcommit to too much in one day. Call it quits when you notice it’s no longer enjoyable (a good rule to live by).
Our lives are filled with small misconceptions about how we should live, that end up dictating our lives, and we don’t even know it.
Convenience
Everyone is selling convenience. That’s the most valuable commodity around. If you can find a way to make someone’s life easier, then you can sell them anything.
I’ve decided to start feeding my dog real food. I almost slip every time and say human food. As if chicken, beef, rice, sweet potatoes, and vegetables (the main items of his diet now) are only made for us. He’s getting older, he’s 13, and I think real food might expand his horizon and longevity. If it works for me, why wouldn’t it work for him?
The impetus for this decision came as I observed him devouring a frozen beef femur the other night. For hours he laid outside on his blanket with it and sucked everyone ounce of bone marrow and life force he could out of that bone. Watching him gave me the sense that he needed real food. And that’s when my decision was made.
But it made me question why I even give him kibble to begin with. Why do I feed my dog pellets of processed food? What am I actually buying? Because I can buy and cook food for my dog if I want to. So it’s not actually food that I’m buying. It’s not some special formula like they want you to believe. When has fortified processed food every proven to be better for your health than actual food? Never.
I’m really just buying convenience. I’m paying someone else for the convenience of not having to shop, cook, clean, and plan for my dog. I’ve outsourced that responsibility.
The company wins. They get paid. I win. All I have to do is remember to order food, and scoop a few cups of kibble into his bowl each day. The only loser is my dog who’s left to eat what my fiancee calls “food with no life force.”
Looking at it from the view of dog owner to dog, the decision to give my dog processed food seems straight forward. The juice, giving him real food, is not worth the squeeze, shopping, cooking, cleaning, planning. Despite how much we love our animals we can’t deny the fact that we view them as lesser, even if by a tiny margin. Which is why they don’t get all the perks and luxuries new give ourselves. Whether that’s real food, or that big expensive procedure. It’s just easier and understandable not to.
But I wonder if that’s why we, humans in modern civilization, eat so much processed food. Convenience, cost, time, energy, yes. But is that the only reason? Or is it also because we don’t think highly enough of ourselves to warrant taking the time to plan, shop, and cook our meals? Do we think we’re not worth the extra cost, time, and effort? We know the benefits of eating real food, and the consequences of eating processed food, so why is 70 percent of the American diet made up of processed food?
I don’t actually know if that’s the case or not, clearly. And I know that for many people in this world that it is way more complicated than I’ve made it seem. But for many of us, it’s probably not that complicated, and we could feed ourselves better with very little impact to our lives, and I’m fascinated by why we don’t.
Hiking Half Dome at Yosemite
The thoughts and questions I carried with me
What are you carrying and not using? What are you carrying that you don’t need?
This past week I was hiking Half Dome in Yosemite National Park with my fiancée and three friends. Half Dome is a 17 mile round trip hike on a mix of paved trail, granite steps, sand, rock, and dirt. The trail ascends for 8 - 8.5 miles, gaining 5,500 feet of elevation, until reaching the top of Half Dome, which requires pulling yourself up chains attached to an almost vertical wall for the last few hundred feet of the hike. It then descends 8 - 8.5 miles back to the trailhead. You can count on it taking 10 - 12 hours, depending on fitness level and number of rest stops, to complete.
In addition to Half Dome’s challenging profile, there’s only two places to fill up water, at the trailhead and a few miles in sourced from a river, and nowhere to get food (naturally). Which means if you want to have an enjoyable day you’ll need to carry a couple thousand calories and a few liters of water. It’s also why hiking poles are recommended, and why we we all packed ours, checking a bag for a weekend trip just to do so.
Nevertheless, we all started the day with our hiking poles strapped to our backpacks as we began to climb the first 3 miles and 2,500 feet of the hike. Less than a mile in I thought about using mine, but something in me kept resisting. The trail was steep, and I knew I was in for a long day, but I thought I shouldn’t use them so early on, that it was better to fight through without them, and only use them if I needed them. Maybe just to descend.
But my brain wouldn’t relent. Over and over in my head it went, “Just pull them off your pack. What did you bring them for?” So, at the end of our first break, after gaining close to 1,400 feet, I gave in and pulled them off my bag, snapped them into place, and carried them in my left hand like a grocery bag. I went from carrying them on my back, to in my hand. Progress. Getting closer. But still not using them.
I looked around to my fiancée and my friends, none of whom had pulled off their poles yet, and again it went, “Why did we bring hiking poles if we weren’t going to use them?” It was a very real question I kept wondering about. What was the rationale we were telling ourselves to not use the poles we traveled with to help us hike? I actually paid $40 to check my backpack that I could have otherwise carried on. Said another way, I believed it was worth $40 to have my poles, which, for a frugal man, was not a decision I made lightly, and one that would have went another way in a prior time of my life. I had made an investment in my poles, and now when it was time to cash in I was treating my asset like an insurance policy.
Why were we so unwilling to use them?
There was the idea that using them created an image of weakness. That I couldn’t keep up without them. The belief that if I didn’t use them, I’d be stronger in the end having survived without their help. That I would suffer on the way up, but reap the benefits in the days that followed. There was the group think of, “No one else is using them, so maybe I don’t need them?” That only in the case of an emergency should they be deployed. All of these reasons, and more, swirling around my head, convincing me not to use them, even though they were always part of my plan.
As often happens, I then started to wonder where else in my life this was happening. Where else was I turning down help because I thought it might make me look weak, and because doing it alone would make me stronger? Or because no one else was looking for help, which meant I didn’t need any either. Where else could I be making my life easier, but I’m making the decision not to? What am I carrying around that I’m not utilizing? And, conversely, what am I carrying that I could get rid of?
What’s in my backpack that I didn’t need to bring but packed anyway because it gave me comfort, but no utility? What’s in my backpack that I’ve been procrastinating removing? On a typical hike I pack double the amount of food I need, to make sure that I never get hungry. As if hunger equals death. I pack gear I know I’m not going to use. I offer to carry other peoples comfort items so that they have a good time. Why carry around things I don’t need, when a lighter pack would be easier, allow me to reach the top quicker, with more energy, and have more time with the views?
A backpack on a long hike is the perfect metaphor for visualizing the baggage we carry around in life. Bad relationships. Excess bodyweight. Stress. Unrealistic expectations. Bad habits. Self abuse. Grudges, anger, and hate towards others. Self-limiting beliefs. Everything we emotionally, physically, and spiritually carry around with us, packed into a “backpack” that we lug around. Dragging us down, making life harder, and providing no help in getting to the top.
All around us, and with-in us, we have access to tools, skills, knowledge, and relationships, that we don’t take advantage of. And on our backs is a bag full of people, beliefs, habits, feelings, and emotions, that we never confront despite knowing that they don’t serve us, and carry around anyway. What could you be taking advantage of that you’re not? And what could you unpack for an easier life?
Finally I took one pole in each hand, planted them into the ground, and carried on to the top of Half Dome.
Trips Details:
We flew into Fresno Yosemite International Airport on Tuesday evening, and drove one hour to Oakhurst to spend the night at The Inelle. Fresno Airport is two hours south of Yosemite, and Oakhurst is right in the middle on your way to Yosemite. Making it a good place to spend a night or two if you want.
Wednesday we spent the morning exploring Oakhurst. We had a really nice breakfast at Bees Cafe (I recommend), and coffee at Clouds Rest Coffee (also recommend). Oakhurst has a couple of big grocery stores, and so we shopped for food to have in our cabin the next two nights.
We stayed at The Explorers Cabin, part of the Yosemite cabin rentals. It’s just outside the park, about a 35 minute drive to the parking lot where you’ll park and begin your walk to the trailhead for Half Dome.
Thursday morning we were up at 4 am, out the door by 5:15 am, parked by a quarter to 6, and at the trailhead by 6 am. The walk from the parking lot to the trailhead is about 3/4 of a mile.
With stops every 90 minutes or so, plus a 30 minute lunch at the top of Half Dome, we made it up and back to our car in ~10.5 hours. On the way up we took the Mist Trail which takes you along the side of a couple of beautiful waterfalls where you will get pretty wet (hence the name). On the way back we planned on taking the John Muir Trail, but when we saw that it added 1.5 miles to the journey, everyone in our group voted to go down the same way we came, the Mist Trail.
However, we did take the John Muir trail for about a half mile to a natural pool made by a waterfall. At the pool we took off our shoes, some took off their clothes, and jumped into the cold water. It was a really refreshing way to end a long hot day. Even if you’re going to take the Mist Trail down, I do suggest taking the Muir Trail, definitely stop for the pool.
Main blogs/resources we referenced:
All Trails Map:
Half Dome via The John Muir Trail (this is via John Muir, but you can see the Mist Trail and use it to navigate either way).
Permit:
Note: YOU WILL NEED A PERMIT TO GO TO THE TOP OF HALF DOME. ENTER THE LOTTERY HERE: Half Dome Day Hike
The Mis-Conceptions of Food Waste, and Value
Food Waste needs a rebranding, and newsletters need to go away.
Food Waste
I did a tabling event at a children’s museum this past weekend for We Don’t Waste. Tabling, also called The Speakers Bureau, involves interacting and engaging with the visitors, giving them information about We Don’t Waste, and educating them on our mission and why it’s important.
My pitch goes something like this:
“We rescue food that would have otherwise ended up in landfills from places like grocery stores, bakeries, restaurants, and sports stadiums, and distribute it to the community through mobile food markets, and partnerships with organizations like shelters, food pantries, and farms. Last year we rescued over 24 million servings of food which helped feed over 700,000 people.”
Most people nod and get the gist. A small percentage of people have heard of We Don’t Waste and are familiar with the problem food waste in this country poses (over 40% of food in the U.S. ends up in landfills where it rots and produces methane gas). But one lady asked me, “So, do you like dig in the garbage for food to find what’s still good?” A valid question because, well, “food waste.” What does that make you think of? It made me wonder how many other people might have that same question but were just too afraid to ask it. It is the reason I hate the term food waste.
The answer to her question is no. The food we distribute is in perfectly good condition, and comes directly off the shelves of bakeries, or straight from the freezers at grocery stores. A better term might be “excess food that stores know they are not going to sell and are going to throw away but is actually still of high quality and definitely edible.” But it would be hard to start a global campaign around that. So we use “food waste.”
Here are some pictures of the food we are saving and re-distributing. These are pictures from a mobile food market this past week.
So there’s two big disconnects that we are fighting against in this movement.
The first is our perception of food waste. When we think of that phrase we automatically picture food in the garbage, or an unfinished plate, or maybe something rotten and inedible. And that’s understandable. But as the pictures above show, “food waste” is anything but.
A couple of years ago I worked part time (very part time) on a farm in Los Angeles. One day we were harvesting carrots. We had two bins. Carrots destined for the market went into one bin. Carrots destined for the compost went into another bin. The difference? Appearance. The compost carrots were ugly and the farmer I worked for knew for that reason they wouldn’t sell. Just another example of how our programming of what food should look like has turned food, into waste. Think about that the next time you’re at the grocery store or the farmers market, and you put an apple down because it has a bruise, or choose a different potato without a spore, or pass over the soft avocado. We’re conditioned to pick perfect produce.
The second disconnect is what is actually causing the degradation of our environment and our health. One of the guys I volunteer with has been vegan for 20 years. When he told me that I replied, “Twenty years, that must be hard.”
“Not when you’re doing it for the right reasons,” he replied. “Like animal welfare and the impact on the environment.”
Is farming ruining the planet, or is the way we farm ruining the planet? If we can produce so much food in this country that over 40 percent of it goes to waste, then perhaps there’s something wrong in the methodology. If 40 percent of food goes to waste, then 40 percent of the resources used to grow that food are going to waste (energy, water, and money). If the food industry can waste 40 percent of food and still turn a profit, then it should call into question the “methods” and “techniques” (if you can call them that) that they are using. Massive fields of monoculture agriculture doused in pesticides might produce a large yield, but it’s decimating the soil and the land, and our health.
I just finished reading Silo, written by chef Douglas McMaster who owns a restaurant of the same name. They are the world’s first zero waste restaurant. The book is a “how to” for anyone looking to reduce the waste they create. At the end of the book he sums it up pretty perfectly.
“Zero waste is nature. To achieve zero waste is to integrate with nature. It has everything we desire and there needs to be no compromise.”
Zero waste is nature. We’re disconnected from nature. The biggest disconnect that encompasses all of the others.
Nothing of Value
Spam email is a great example of what happens when something costs nothing. Companies can send out their “newsletter” to thousands of people for next to nothing. And even if they get 1% of people to click, it’s worth it to them. So they flood our emails with their latest nonsense. Just one more way we are all so distracted.
I ordered hydrogen tabs recently after learning about them on a Joe Rogan podcast. $30 for a 30 day supply seemed like a good bet to test them out. Today I recieved a newsletter from the company.
I can’t even tell you what it said because I unsubscribed and deleted it immediately. I was just looking for a hydrogen tab to test the reported health benefits. I didn’t ask for a newsletter from a company that manufactures hydrogen tabs.
But everyone thinks they have something intelligent to say (ahem)…
And now with AI not only does the email cost nothing, but you don’t even have to produce the content.
Me: “Compose a newsletter that tells people why hydrogen tabs are beneficial to their health.”
ChatGPT: “Sure! Here's a draft for a newsletter that promotes the health benefits of hydrogen tablets in a friendly, informative tone:
Subject Line: Unlock the Power of Hydrogen – A Simple Tab for Better Health
Header: Say Hello to Better Health with Hydrogen Tabs
Body:
Did you know the smallest molecule in the universe could be your biggest health upgrade?
Hydrogen tablets—tiny but mighty—are changing the way we support wellness from the inside out. When dropped into water, these tabs release molecular hydrogen (H₂), a powerful antioxidant that helps your body fight oxidative stress, reduce inflammation, and boost cellular health.
Here’s what hydrogen tabs can do for you:
Combat oxidative stress – Molecular hydrogen targets harmful free radicals, which may reduce signs of aging and improve recovery after exercise.
Support energy and mental clarity – Users often report improved focus and stamina with regular use.
Promote gut health and hydration – Hydrogen-rich water is gentle on the digestive system and may support gut balance.
Anti-inflammatory effects – Preliminary studies show benefits in reducing chronic inflammation and supporting immune function.
No pills, no powders, just a clean tablet that transforms your water—and your wellness routine.
Ready to feel the difference?
Drop one tab in water. Drink daily. Discover the benefits.
[Shop Hydrogen Tabs Now]
Stay healthy,
The [Your Brand Name] Team”
Technology has done some amazing things, but creating cheap products and services of no value to infiltrate our lives, and distract us, has not been one of them. And in a lot of ways it is the same issue we face with food waste.
Eating Pre-Industrial
Industrialization has turned food into products, and severed our connection with eating.
I recently heard a term that at the same time describes what’s wrong with the way we eat and how we should be eating.
The term is “pre-industrial.”
I picked it up while reading Silo, a book written by the chef of a restaurant by the same name. It is (was?) the world’s first zero waste restaurant. Chef Douglas McMaster uses the term pre-industrial to describe the “diet” (aka “cuisine”) at Silo, which is a blend of vegan and paleo principles.
I think it’s a perfect way to describe the type of food we should be putting on our plates and in our mouths. Typically when when I describe my diet I use phrases like whole foods, real foods, without added sugar, or nothing processed. But really what I’m trying to say is that I eat the way humans used to eat, the way my ancestors ate, before food became industrialized and viewed as a commodity. So pre-industrial is perfectly fitting.
Another reason I like it is because it doesn’t describe a diet with set rules to follow, and therefore eliminates the follow up questions about what’s allowed or not. Vegan. Paleo. Vegetarian. Whole 30. Keto. Atkins. Pescatarian. What are the rules? What can I eat and what can’t I eat? Red meat? Grains? Dairy? Pre-industrial encompasses everything the earth can produce in its un-adultered form.
Lastly, I like it because it eliminates the need to say “whole foods,” which has been co-opted by the grocery store of the same name, who sells more ultra-processed foods than they do real foods… But I digress.
I had family visiting this week. My sister-in-law was telling us how she loves to cook, and how they no longer keep processed food in the house. Her 16 yr old son came to her one day and said,
“You don’t have anything that’s just ready to eat. Everything has to be cooked.”
I thought it was so telling. In this post-industrial world we’ve become accustomed to having food ready on demand, requiring you only to open your mouth and shovel it in. Which I believe has as much to do with our declining health as the toxic ingredients in the food.
Because I’m of the opinion that cooking is part of healthy digestion, which is a vital to good health. That cooking is the ultimate “aperitif,” if you will, that primes the body and gets it ready to process the food you’re about to consume. That digestion begins the moment you begin preparing your food, and skipping it can cause all sorts of things to go wrong in the body.
Compare these scenarios.
Scenario one, you want to cook your favorite recipe. So, you go to the store and buy all of the ingredients. You bring them home, and unpack the groceries. You turn on the oven, heat a pan, and fire up the grill. You start chopping vegetables, and season your meat. You put some vegetables in the pan to sauté, while the others get placed in the oven to roast. The smell of veggies starts to fill the house. You step outside and throw a cut of meat on the BBQ, and it begins to sear.
While the veggies and meat are cooking you start to whip up a salad. You pick fresh greens, a tomato, and basil all from your garden, chop it all up and place it in a bowl before running outside to flip the meat and catch a whiff off the grill. You step back inside and give the veggies a toss, and check the oven. The salad gets dressed with olive oil, vinegar, and a couple of pinches of salt.
With that the timer for the veggies goes off, so you pull them off the stove and out of the oven. Then you run outside and pull off the meat. While the meat is resting you set the table, and everyone gathers around to eat.
Or;
You open UberEats and order a burrito bowl from the sofa. While you wait you watch TV. Twenty - thirty minutes later you get a notification that your food is on the doorstep. You get off the couch, grab your food, remove it from the bag, take off the lid, and begin to eat.
I can’t help but think that there is something fundamentally wrong and unhealthy with the second scenario and something magical about the first. There’s a trigger that’s missed in the second scenario that is being activated in the first. A trigger that is prepping you for food. There is a connection formed by every cut, smell, taste while you’re cooking. The activation of your senses warm your stomach up, and prepare you.
Aside from just toxic ingredients you can’t pronounce or spell, foods made in factories at scale, in this post-industrial world, rob you of the opportunity to connect with your meal and get ready for nourishment. It’s a double dose of unnatural behavior that’s killing all of us.
By contrast getting back to a pre-industrial way of eating eliminates that deadly dose and promises good health as a result.