Try Something New

Try it on. We try on clothes all the time before we buy them. We need to see if they fit. If they look as good on us as they do on the hanger. If they feel nice. If they are worth the price. So why not try on more things in life before committing? Why not try on a lifestyle? A new diet? Why not try stopping a bad habit? Try it on for a week and see what happens. You can always go back to what you were doing before. To what you were eating before. AND, if it doesn’t work out, you can always try on something else. 

That’s the kicker. Nothing is permanent. Mitakpa, Impermanence. 

Know It Alls

I don’t think people think they know it all. I think people forget that everything they know was learned, and that creates a false sense of knowing. They assume that if there’s something to know, that they would already know it. It’s a slight, but important, difference in perspective.

It’s hard to remember a time when we didn’t know, when we first learned something, and what that felt like. And for many of us there comes a time when we stop learning. We finish school, settle into a job, and our life becomes predictable. We’re no longer pushed to learn, and learning no longer fees necessary as a result. We feel we have everything we need to know.

But if we assume that people think they know everything, then we assume that people are know it alls, and therefore aren’t interested in learning, and are unwilling to change. But if by contrast we understand that we’re all born unknowing, that we’ve all learned everything we know, and that we can be taught, then we can assume that if we can figure out how to get through to people, they can learn, and they can change.

Misconceptions

One of the biggest changes in my life was realizing that things, big projects, don’t have to be done all at once. Not even in one day. I’ve finally figured out that even a backyard project could be pieced out over days. Day 1, measure. Day 2, pick up the lumber and hardware. Day 3, cut. Day 4, assemble and install. It doesn’t have to be done all at once, and it doesn’t have to be done right now.

I’ve lived under those misconceptions for a long time. The idea that something had to be done all at once, right now. And it stopped me from starting many projects because I couldn’t see how to get it done based on those timelines. But things take time, and so it’s ok to take time. Make a plan. Check that it makes sense. Gather who and what you need.

Don’t overcommit to too much in one day. Call it quits when you notice it’s no longer enjoyable (a good rule to live by).

Our lives are filled with small misconceptions about how we should live, that end up dictating our lives, and we don’t even know it. 

To achieve success, visualize success

Chase Hughes spoke about rehearsing before a big fight, or a big event in your life, whatever it might be. He spoke about the importance of visualizing everything. Of seeing it through to the end, visualizing success, and then doing it over. Repeating it again, and again, and again, in your mind. Visualizing and anticipating, so that when you do step into the ring, the office, onto the stage to give a presentation, you are prepared for whatever comes your way. And the more you rehearse, the higher your chances are of succeeding.

It’s something that Charles Duhigg also spoke about in The Power of Habit. He used Michael Phelps as the example. 

Michael Phelps had a very specific routine that he followed every day during training. This was intentional. So that when we woke up on race day, he was able to get right to action without having to think. There was not hesitation. Part of his routine during training was visualizing his race. His launch off the board. His stroke. His breathing. His turn. Visualizing each piece of the race.

He become such a master of visualizing his races, that during one race when his goggles started filling with water, preventing him from being able to see, he didn’t panic. He knew exactly what to do. He had visualized this race so many times beforehand, that he didn’t need his sight. It was already programmed in him, and he won, despite not being able to see.

That’s the power of rehearsing.

But I think perhaps the more important thing that Chase Hughes said was that every time you envision your event, race, fight, or presentation, and that vision is filed with fear, anxiety, things going wrong, and insecurities, that also counts as a rehearsal. A bad rehearsal, but a rehearsal nonetheless. And each time you rehearse in this way, you engrain the opposite outcome in your brain. You begin to engrain failure, because that’s what you see.

It was a very interesting perspective because it is true, and I had never thought about it that way before. It would be the equivalent of repeating the wrong lines or the wrong scene while rehearsing for a movie, or play. If that were to happen, chances are the performance would be shitty.

It’s also interesting to me, because that is what I did in preparing for my trip to the cabin a couple of weeks ago. I thought about all the things that could go wrong. I thought about all the things that were making me nervous. I had planned on going out a week earlier to run reconnaissance  and see what the trail was like. Get an idea of how difficult it might be. Even knowing about the parking situation, and permitting. But I never did it. 

I went in blind, suppressing my fear and anxieties, instead of acknowledging them. So, it should be no surprise that when disaster struck, when I feel in a snow well and was stuck chest deep (aka, my goggles filled with water), I immediately decided to turn back. I had never visualized successfully getting to the cabin. I didn’t know what to expect. I hadn’t planned. So it didn’t take much to throw me off.

Don’t that negative rehearsal a place in your mind. Shut it down. It doesn’t serve you. Worrying and giving yourself anxiety over something you have to do or want to do, is not going to help you be prepared. It’s just going to hamper performance.

Instead take the time to visualize success, from beginning to the end. Anticipate where things might go wrong, what questions might be asked, and then figure out the answers. Step out into the field before your trip, or onto the stage before your presentation. See what it feels like. Get comfortable in the uncomfortable environment.

Take the time to go through the motions. Stay positive and smile. Give yourself the best chance to succeed by visualizing yourself on the other side of success. 

Disconnect and Make Better Decisions

I recently realized how easy it is to be manipulated. What all of the advertising, marketing, and celebrity sponsorships is all about. Because for the first time in my life, I was the unknowing victim.

I love the UFC. I think it’s the greatest American sport. I also love Dana White. He is a sports marketing genius. There is no one, in my opinion, better than him at promotion. He’s no bullshit, and I enjoy the brand of entertainment he’s created.

I don’t love Donald Trump. I don’t hate him like most people, half the country, do. But then again, it takes a lot to make me hate you. It takes an equal amount to make me like you. But I’d say I’m at best neutral on him, in that I don’t think he’s any better or any worse than any of the other options. I didn’t want him to be president the first time he won, or the second time. But I also didn’t want Hillary Clinton or Joe Biden to be president. Maybe I’m just tough to please.

But the first time I saw Donald Trump sitting ringside at the UFC chatting it up with Dana White I immediately thought, “Maybe he’s not so bad. Maybe I got it all wrong.” I quickly became aware of what was happening and snapped myself out of it. But, it happened. For a moment, I was convinced he was an ok guy, and not a word had been spoken.

But that hasn’t happened with Mark Zuckerberg, who has become as frequent a sight at UFC events. The more I see him sitting ringside, the less and less I like him. But I digress.

But it’s an amazing thing really, to be influenced just by association with something or someone you like. And it’s scary because that’s happening to us all day.

It’s part of what Chase Hughes spoke about on the Joe Rogan Experience. The openness and suggestibility of certain people, and how easy it is to manipulate them as a result. It’s what he’s built his whole career on. It’s part of what I’m reading about in The Tipping Point, by Malcolm Gladwell.

In The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell points to a study that showed how Peter Jennings’ facial expressions alone when discussing Ronald Reagan were enough to sway his viewers to vote for Reagan in far greater numbers than viewers of CBS or NBC. Despite all three stations producing programming that was unfavorable to Reagan. According to the study, Peter Jennings’ face lit up when talking about Ronald Regan versus Walter Mondale.

When participants were asked to score his facial expressions on a scale of 0 - 21, with the lowest being “extremely negative” and the highest being “extremely positive,”  he scored 13.38 for Mondale, and 17.44 for Reagan. The other anchors, Tom Brokaw and Dan Rather, scored fairly evenly for both candidates (~11.00).

The result? On average viewers of Peter Jennings voted for Ronald Reagan 70 - 75 percent of the time, compared to 50 - 60 percent of the time for viewers of CBS or NBC. We are way more susceptible to manipulation than we think. 

If facial expressions are enough to unknowingly tilt someone’s decision, then what would we estimate the impact of social media, the 24 hour news cycle, and reporting that focuses on biases and curated narratives instead of facts? How much could that be influencing our choices and opinions? All day screens are hurling suggestions at us, trying to convince us to take a certain side, and meanwhile we think that we’re voting for Reagan because he’s the better candidate.

I see it as an advantage that I don’t have social media and I don’t watch the news. Everything that’s important in the world still makes it in front of me anyway, but only 1 percent of what isn’t important does. I see the elimination of social media and news as being as advantageous as eliminating processed foods, drugs, alcohol, toxic relationships, or an unfulfilling job. As advantageous as sleeping 8 hours per night.

If you’re looking for a path out of the rabbit hole, disconnect from the noise, and pay attention to see if you start making different, better, decisions. Decisions that benefit you, not someone else.

I can guarantee you will. 

Try It and Then Decide

Try it is something that I’ve been telling myself a lot lately. When I’m being resistant to doing something, especially when it’s something I should be doing that I’m not, or something I’m doing that I shouldn’t, I’ve been able to get over the hump by saying, “just try it.” If it doesn’t work, go back to what you were doing.

A few months ago I started a writing routine called morning pages, which was developed by Julia Cameron and shared in the book The Artists Way. I was inspired by Brian Koppelman in Tools of Titans to begin. He said “Of the 100 people I’ve given it [The Artists Way] to, maybe ten of them have actually opened the book and done the exercises [specifically morning pages]. Of those ten, seven have had books, movies, TV shows, and made out succesful.” 

Morning pages is a tactic for wannabe (like me) or struggling (also like me) creatives to help them get their juices flowing. The premise is simple. Wake up and write three pages of longhand before doing anything else (I typically walk my dog and make coffee first). It should all be stream of conscious. Spelling doesn’t matter. Logic doesn’t matter. Grammar doesn’t matter. Just explode onto the page with whatever comes to mind.

Since starting this routine my writing has drastically improved as has my mood and the overall joy I get from each day.

But in the last week my morning pages routine has extended past three pages and turned into 1 - 2 additional hours each morning in front of the computer. Doing things like typing notes, thoughts, and ideas from the day before. Checking my finances. Responding to email. Sitting down to write has morphed into working first thing in the morning and it’s been dragging on the rest of my day, and affecting my mood, my creativity, and my productivity.

I knew I needed to stop after three pages and go do something different, like exercise, instead of sitting at my computer. But I was reluctant to change. Even though it was negatively impacting the rest of the day, I enjoyed that time revising my essays, tweaking my website, and checking in on the markets. It felt productive and I didn’t want to give that up. But I needed to break the routine.

So, I convinced myself by saying try it. “Tomorrow, after you’re done with your morning pages, get up and workout. And if you don’t feel better, then tomorrow you can go back to your routine.”

I tried it, and I felt better. Today I got up, wrote my morning pages, ate, worked out, and then around mid-day jumped on the computer.

Part of why we’re all so reluctant to change is because we see it as permanent. And we don’t know how we’re going to feel if this new diet is the way we eat for the rest of our lives. Or this high intensity exercise class is how we’re going to stay active long term. When we project out this way, the change becomes intimidating and takes on a life of it’s own. 

In recent years I learned about a common saying in Alcoholics Anonymous. “I didn’t drink today.”

Don’t worry about tomorrow or the next day. Just think about today and what you know you need to do. Try it. And if it doesn’t work out, you can always go back or try something new.

Permission and Knowing What’s Possible Can Change Lives

Permission and possibilities are two things that everyone needs to have if they want to be succesful. Permission to try something new, do it in a different way, or do something out of the ordinary. They also need to know that it’s possible, regardless of their situation or their beliefs. 

I’m re-reading The Power of Habit for the first time in 7 years, and the chapter Starbucks and the Habit of Success reignited this idea for me.

I found this quote from Howard Schulz to be particularly powerful.

“And I really, genuinely believe that if you tell people that they have what it takes to succeed, they’ll prove you right.”

Starbucks’ success has hinged on this belief, and has been a huge influence on the way they train their employees. They grant their employees permission to succeed, and they give them the knowledge to make it possible.

They don’t just tell their employees what to do, how to make a cup of coffee, or how to treat customers. They give them the tools to do so. They’ve developed a full curriculum around it. The LATTEE method is one example. It’s used to address angry customers.

Listen

Acknowledge

Take action

Thank them

Explain why the problem occurred

They also teach their employees how to properly give colleagues criticism, and a system for handling orders when the store gets very busy. One of their mottos is: They don’t serve coffee, they serve people.

They set their employees up for success by giving them permission to be great, and showing them how it’s possible.

The book outlines the example of one employee. A young man born to drug addicted parents. Before going to Starbucks he was unable to hold down a job. Because he grew up in a chaotic home where stolen cars would often be parked in the driveway, and he and his siblings didn’t know if today was the day they’d have to save their parents from another overdose, he struggled to control his emotions, and would frequently lash out at customers and colleagues.

No one ever gave him permission to be anything other than the son of drug addicts. And no one ever showed him it was possible to get out. Until he starting working at Starbucks and started to acquire tools necessary to be succesful in the world, and how to interact with other people.

People need to know that it’s possible to change, and they need to be shown how. I think that’s a key component for anyone growing up. Without permission, and without knowing what’s possible, people are left stuck with no hope of improving, and nothing to aspire to.

Kids need this knowledge to reach their full potential.

What can you eliminate?

Everyone talks about all the things you should do to optimize your life. They talk about all of the supplements to take. All of the hacks to incorporate into your day. The type, intensity, and frequency of exercise. But adding more to a busy life with limited capacity is a daunting task. Starting new routines and creating new habits requires consistency over a long period of time, and for that reason, for most people, they usually don’t stick.

That’s why I think that a much easier path is to eliminate the things from your life which do not serve you. Addition by subtraction. Remove what does not serve you and get back time and energy, and ultimately your health.

I think there are three things that almost everyone could eliminate tomorrow with minimal effort that would also drastically and immediately improving the quality of theirlife.

• Alcohol

• Social Media

• Added Sugar and Processed Food (“food that isn’t food”)

Anyone, in any situation, could eliminate those three things and instantaneously be on the road to a better, happier, more productive, version of themselves.

These three substances rob all of us of our mental, physical, and emotional health. They cause unwanted and undetected spikes in stress hormones, and deleterious chemical reactions. They are at the core of depression, anxiety, weight gain, and chronic disease, and therefore at the core of the health epidemic in this country.

And it’s not just our healthy that they wreck. These three substances act as sedatives, muting our intuition, causing lethargy, and interfering with our critical thinking. They block our motivation, and they silence our ambition. They convince us to check out, when we want to be tuned in.

Alcohol, social media, and foods that isn’t food, are collectively and directly responsible for the increased prevalence of disease and mortality. If we could eliminate these substances from our lives then we wouldn’t need to do anything else.

We wouldn’t need to be more active. We wouldn’t need a multi-vitamin or a handful of supplements. We wouldn’t need to view sunlight immediately upon waking up. We wouldn’t need to find ways to disconnect and be mindful. We wouldn’t need to do any of those things but we would, because we would feel such an immense physical, mental, and emotional improvement that it would become immediately clear to us that we wanted to do it all.

Alcohol, social media, and food that isn’t food are mentally, emotionally, and physically destroying us. If we can eliminate them, the rest will take care of itself.

Aligning Work with Expectations

We’re all guilty of it. Expecting things to get better without doing anything to help.

When I got back from a trip to Asia this past November, I realized that I had somehow injured my right shoulder. Depending on what position I put my shoulder in, I would feel a pinch and a jolt of pain. Even small movements like pulling the blankets over me at night sent a shock through my whole body. I don’t know how it started or when. The whole time I was away I was exercising and never felt even mild discomfort. So the only thing I could think of was something happened on the plane, or I grabbed our bags in an odd way and that set it off.

In the 3 months since I’ve been back, I’ve continued to exercise, while being careful to avoid any movements that hurt or aggravate my shoulder (a lot of running, skiing, and kettlebell swings). But I’ve done nothing proactive. I haven’t used heat or ice. I haven’t worked on my shoulder’s mobility. I haven’t done any rehab exercises. My strategy has mainly been focused on not doing anything to make it worse, and hoping for it to get better.

But it hasn’t improved. And despite doing nothing to help it, I expected by now it would.

I like to use physical examples to make points about how we all live our lives. Exercise, training, physical pain, provide tangible examples that are easier, in my mind, to grasp. If you want to finish a marathon in a certain time, then there are a certain number of miles you’ll need to run each week. There are certain speeds you’ll have to run during training. And it’s very easy to see come race day if you put the work in and what went wrong or right.

Contrast that to something more nebulous like trying to get a promotion at work. You could be the first one at the office very day. Finish all of your projects on time. Hit your monthly quotas. Receive positive feedback on your performance review. And still not get it. What went wrong?

Back to my shoulder. I think a lot of us expect improvement without actually putting in the effort that is required to improve. Not because we’re lazy or unwilling, but because sometimes it’s just easier to wish a problem away, or believe that things will just get better. Or sometimes we think we’re helping, like I did by avoiding movements that aggravated my shoulder, when in reality we’re not.

My shoulder is one example. An achilles injury I suffered 7 years ago that I also never properly rehabbed, expected to get better on its own, and still bothers me to this day, is another.

For a time after leaving my job in 2018, I thought that my dream job was going to just walk up and pinch me, or that I’d meet someone who wanted to run with one of my many ideas. But none of that has happened, even though I believed it would.

It took a few years for me to realize that anything I wanted was only going to come true if I made it happen. The same way I’ve realized over the last few days that my shoulder isn’t getting any better on it’s own, and I need to work on it.

So for the last few days I’ve been doing light shoulder rehab in the morning. A few exercises before I start my day that have helped with other similar injuries. It’ll likely be some time before I feel any improvement, or get back to 100 percent. But at least now I can say that my work is aligned with my expectations.

What’s something you’ve been dealing with and expecting to get better, but looking back haven’t put the work into? How could you align your work with your expectations going forward to realize your desired outcome?

Squashing Uncertainty by Being Prepared

Next week my fiancé and I are snow shoeing 8 miles into the snow covered mountains to stay 2 nights at a small hut in the woods. And as the date of our departure approaches I find myself getting more and more nervous. Even contemplating if we should back out.

But why? I’ve done plenty of similar adventures in my life and they have all turned out to be amazing experiences. Even if there were periods of pain and discomfort I can’t name one I regret. Adventures like this is the reason I moved to Colorado.

It’s not the distance I’m worried about. 8 miles, 2,000 ft of elevation gain, is pretty mild for me, and for my fiancé (even though she wouldn’t admit it). We’ve done harder, longer, trips in Colombia and Switzerland. Trips where we had to carry more.

So what is it about this trip that has got me questioning why I wanted to do its in the first place? What strings is my resistance pulling in my head and how do I overcome them?

As I pondered it I realized the main concern is the uncertainty of it all, and that I didn’t know much about what we actually signed up for. I knew very little when I booked the hut, and I’d done no research since booking it. Instead I’ve just gone over and over it in my head guessing at what it might be like with no information. 

The “what ifs” we’re taking over. The “what ifs” that cause the most stress in life. 

But I’ve realized over the years that if you can take away the uncertainty, you can drastically reduce your stress, and greatly improve your chances of performing well. But it requires some work.

So yesterday I started doing some research, and already things are looking better. For one, I found out that the hike is actually 4 miles in, 4 miles out. I’d missed the “out and back” type when I looked the route up (most people hike to the cabin and come back the same day). Which is a nice relief because while 8 miles is in our wheelhouse, 4 miles means we can start later, take our time, and carry more comfort items.

I also watched a video and got to see the inside of the cabin. Relieving some stress about where we’d be sleeping and what we’d be sleeping on. I got a good look at the kitchen setup including the pots, pans, and utensils that are available. I also saw how the snow melt, our source for water, works. There are a couple of metal buckets you fill with snow and bring inside and set on top of the wood stove. Pretty straightforward.

I also looked back over the website to see what else is supplied so I could determine what to pack. Kindling, fire wood, toilet paper, sleeping pads, a camp stove, are all provided. It looks like we’ll need sleeping bags, pillows if we want them, and our sleeping bag liners. We also need a small propane tank for the stove. And of course as much food and snacks as we’re willing to carry.

The biggest concern which we have no control over remains the weather. Right now it looks like it’s hovering in the negative degrees. Brrr. But I found two different websites with detailed weather reports that I can follow leading up to our trip so we’re not walking in blind.

With all that information I now feel 10 times better about the trip and I’ve also been able to plan a couple of day hikes from the cabin for our one full day there. What we would do all day was another concern (god forbid we’d hang out with nothing to do) that is now alleviated.

Taking the uncertainty out of things, whether it’s presenting to a group of people, taking a test, going on a job interview, or going on a new adventure, is really the key to feeling confident and ready. Being prepared, having a plan, and knowing what to expect can take you from worried to excited. From timid to charismatic. When it comes to a big event, a little preparation makes all the difference. 

Intuition vs. Resistance

Everyone has two voices. Which one do you listen to more? 

Voice 1 says: let’s cook.

Voice 2 says: let’s just order pizza, its been a long day. It would be so much easier.

Voice 1 says: let’s go to the gym.

Voice 2 says: you just got home from work, relax a little bit, unwind. You deserve it.

Voice 1 says: let’s read.

Voice 2 says: ok, but let’s check our phone first.

Voice 1 says: you know what would be really nice, if I bought my partner a nice set of earrings for her new piercings.

Voice 2 says: earrings are expensive, we’ve been spending too much money recently. Also, I don’t know which ones to get. Let’s do something else, something simpler, and cheaper. 

There’s so many conversations that take place in our heads every day. One voice is telling us what we need to be doing. It’s guiding us along our path towards our best life. The other voice is coming up with every excuse under the sun to convince you not to do it. It’s too risky. You’ve never done it before. You have time, it doesn’t need to be done today. 

Which voice are you listening to?

Listen to your first one, that’s your truth. Ignore the second one, that’s your resistance.

Taking Inventory of What Works and What Doesn’t

When I’m feeling off, I want to know why that is so I can fix it. What’s going on in my environment to cause it. I try to figure it out because in our every changing world that’s full of distractions, stress, controversy, and temptations, I like to know what’s going on with me. I think it’s the only way to stay sane and healthy.

So maybe I missed a workout. Or maybe I haven’t done the activity that I’ve been wanting to do. Like go skiing or hiking. Maybe I need to pick up the phone and call a friend or a loved one. Maybe I’m missing that connection that can only come from a familiar voice. It could be that I’ve been indulging too much in foods outside of my normal diet. Poor quality foods that contribute to poor sleep, poor workouts, and poor moods. And once I’ve done my assessment, and figured out what’s going on, I get to work on making changes. 

I try to act on what I believe to be the culprit. It doesn’t always take right away. Sometimes it takes a few days. Sometimes I’ll have a bunch of starts and stops.

Like with diet, which is easy to visualize. I might realize that I’ve been having too much dairy. I’m pretty lactose intolerant. The only dairy I can really tolerate Is Greek yogurt. Problem is I love cheese, milk, and rich yogurt with the buttermilk cream on top. So it’s very easy for me to throw caution to the wind and indulge, only to find myself not feeling great, and not realizing how I get there. Until I start assessing it.

Sugar is another good example. In my normal routine I don’t consume added sugar. But if I go on vacation I always allow myself to indulge in sweet treats. Problem is sugar cravings don’t stay abroad. They follow you home. It can take a week to 10 days to wean off sugar and kick those cravings. All the while not realizing why I feel so lousy. It takes that internal assessment to realize what’s going on.

Sleep is another good one. I read this quote, “if you don’t know what it is you need, it’s probably sleep.” So true. I think about that one all of the time when I’m going through my assessment. Nine out of ten times when nothing else is working, it’s sleep that I need.

It works in the opposite direction as well. When I’m feeling really good and full of energy I like to understand why so I can keep it going and replicate it in the future. Usually when I’m feeling good it’s because I’ve foubd a good cadence with my workouts. Not too intense to leave me drained, but intense enough to feel accomplished and see results. 

Lately the best days have been ones that start with writing. Whether that’s stream of conscious writing that clears my head, or jotting down more thought out ideas like this one. I find that how I start my day is the biggest indicator to how my day will go.

If I get time to myself to write or read or exercise, then my day generally goes pretty smoothly. My mood and energy levels stay pretty stable. Conversely, if I start my day by picking up my phone or opening my laptop, the rest of my day is a struggle. In the former I’m getting to engage with my mind or my body first. In the later I’m at the mercy of whatever pops up on the screen, and most of the time it’s not good. Most of the time it’s something that sets off my emotions and my adrenaline and dumps a bunch of cortisol into my veins.

I think that while this might sound like a lot of work to constantly be analyzing, it is the only way to live your best life in a chaotic world filled with temptation and distraction. There are so many inputs that are out of our control that we need to understand how they are all impacting us if we want to be our best. 

If you’re doing it right it becomes easier. If you do it often you start to recognize patterns (like the ones I mentioned above). The more often you notice them the quicker you’ll be at identifying them, and the better you’ll be at eliminating things (activities, foods, people) that no longer serve you. Which also makes more room for things that do. 

I realized a few years ago that alcohol no longer served me, so I gave it up. I realized a few years ago that triathlons no longer served me, so I stopped training for them. The void left by alcohol made room for psychedelic substances that have helped me physically, mentally, and emotionally break through many barriers. The time I was spending training for triathlons is now spent strength training (my first true love), and writing. Two activities that I have found a lot more rewarding.

The people I’ve cut out, the social media I’ve deleted, has allowed me to foster better relationships with the people closest to me.

I think that in today’s world there is just so much that we all need to consider each day. And if we’re not constantly doing honest assessments of where we are, then it’s very easy to end up down a path we don’t want to be down. The distractions and temptations are too much and too abundant. We need to be vigilant keepers of what’s making us feel better and what’s not. And we need to do more of the former and none of the latter. 

Pay Now or Pay Later

Every night before I go to bed I stretch for 5 - 6 minutes. I stretch not because I want to, but because I have restless leg syndrome. I stretch my calves, my hamstrings, and sometimes my glutes. If I don’t, and sometimes even if I do, my legs will ache with a nervous energy mimicking anxiety. And I can’t fall asleep.

I’ve been doing it for so long now that it’s part of my night time routine. But I hate doing it. Most nights all I want to do is get right into bed. Part of the reason I hate doing it is because it takes time and a little bit of extra effort. I know that after I floss, brush, and pee, I have to stand at the foot of the bed and go through my routine, while my fiancé gets tucked in.

It’s only 5 minutes, but when I’m ready to go to bed it feels like such burden. Which is why I sometimes skip it. Pray my legs don’t bother me, and jump into bed. But I almost always pay for it. Tossing and turning until the aching in my legs becomes too unbearable and I’m forced to get up and stretch.

But what’s the tradeoff? If I stretch, 9 out of 10 times I am able to fall asleep quickly and stay asleep. If I don’t stretch, 9 out of 10 times I’m tossing and turning for 10 - 20 minutes before I get up to stretch anyway.

So if I stretch, it costs me 5 minutes. If I don’t stretch, it costs me an additional 10 - 20 minutes.

Yes it’s annoying. Yes I wish I didn’t have to do it. But sometime you have to do things you don’t want to do. And our lives are filled with examples just like this one each day. When putting in the minimum amount of effort required in the beginning will save us time and effort in the end. But most of the time we still don’t do it.

You really want to be healthy and lose weight, but you don’t want t take the time to prepare lunch for work. So you’re forced to pick something up. Something that is not as healthy. More expensive. And cuts into your lunch break as you wait for it to be made.

You want to get active and start exercising but you don’t want to wake up early to fit in a workout. Days, weeks, months go by, and before you know it you’ve gained more weight, and now you have to dig yourself out of a bigger hole, magnifying the effort required.

You don’t want to waste time going to the DMV to get your license renewed, so you put it off. As the expiration date of your license gets closer you stress about it. Then you miss the renewal deadline. Now you have to go to the DMV anyway, and now you have a bigger fee to pay.

Your shoulder is bothering you, but you don’t want to go to the doctor. So you push through it. One day you feel severe pain running through your shoulder and your bicep. A few months ago you had a small tear, now you have a full tear that requires surgery, physical therapy, and months of being inactive.

Over and over in our lives we create more work for ourselves because we’re unwilling to put the effort in at the beginning. When the issue first arises. When the thought first crosses our mind. But what feels like work and a waste of time now is actually an investment and insurance that you won’t have to deal with it later on down the line.

Pay now or pay later. Your choice.

Perspective is Everything

SPOILER ALERT

It’s day 2 of Alone, Australia 2023 (new on Netflix), and 3 people have already gone home. One due to illness, two by their own choice. 

On night one it rained, soaking the camps of all 10 contestants, and dousing their fires and the surrounding areas. For most of the contestants it was just an unfortunate way to start a very difficult challenge. After getting setup on day 1, night 1, they had to spend day 2 starting over. Not a good use of energy or time when calories are limited and day light is always working against you. But for most of them after a moment of acknowledging their wet clothes, grieving their lost fire, and assessing what they needed to do to fix their shelter, they got to work. But that wasn’t the case for the two contestants who would tap out less than 24 hours after being dropped off.

For them it was all too much. A fatal blow they never saw themselves recovering from.

We (my fiancé and I) watched in amazement as they unraveled and let their fears take hold of them, paralyzed from being able to doing anything constructive. They paced around in circles talking to themselves about how bad the situation was. They mumbled repeatedly about how with everything wet they’d never get another fire started. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to them, at every other camp fires were being re-started, or not used at all. One guy chose to forgo the use of a fire until it got colder. He and a couple of other contestants caught rain water to drink so they wouldn’t have to boil any.

At one point the female contestant who would go home made a half-hearted attempt at starting another fire. And when it didn’t work out, she broke down and started counting the minutes until she would call for extraction. She looked around at the beautiful dense forest surrounding her with it’s trees covered in a rich green moss, and said “it’s so dark in here, I need to get out.”

Both contestants that left got picked up with pictures of their families in their hands. They had spent the whole morning of day 2 grasping at those photos. They used them as part of their rationalization to leave. They had a great life back home. Children and spouses they loved and missed. They told themselves that they could go. That they had nothing to prove.

But having something to prove and challenging yourself is precisely the reason that you sign up for this show in the first place. You know that you are going to be alone, separated from all of civilizations, including your family and loved ones, and that you’re going to have to fight to survive in a harsh environment with limited resources. That is the show that all 10 participants signed up for. The only difference is perspective.

It’s clear to me that the two people that went home on day 2 were checked out before they even got there. They just needed an excuse to hang on to so they could convince themselves that it was ok to leave. They entered the competition with that mentality. And when the rain came it was a blessing from god. They could pack it in. The rain literally and figuratively extinguished their fire. 

Instead of looking past it and realizing that it was only day 2 and they had time to course correct, they allowed it to occupy permanent residence in their head. They dwelled on it until it got so big that they couldn’t overcome it. All of the fears and anxieties they had before the show swelled in their brain like a balloon. Until there was no room for anything else.

And while these two people spent their mornings unravelling and complaining about their mis-fortune, 8 other contestants at 8 other camps in the exact same situation, went about their day assessing what they needed to do to survive and acting on it. Rebuilding shelters. Hanging wet clothes to dry. Building fishing poles and nets.

It’s an amazing example of the power of perspective and mental fortitude. And how important it is to be able to push through if you want to achieve the goals you set for yourself. How you prepare mentally is just as important, if not more important, as how you prepare physically. 

A few years ago a friend and I set out to summit a mountain together. Our first 14er. The day before we were set to go he said to me, “what if we don’t make it to the top?’ I turned to him and said “what other choice do we have?” 

Perspective is everything.

Avoid Whatever Your "It" Is That Tempts You

We can’t stop ourselves from consuming things we know we shouldn’t. Which is at the root of all of our problems. Which is why the best way to not do that is to stay as far away from them as you possibly can. Don’t keep it in your house. Don’t go to places that have it. Don’t hang out with people who do it. “It” is whatever you’re imagining it to be. Drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, processed food, sugary food, fried food (aka, food that isn’t food). 

Whatever “it” is to you, stay away from it. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you’re going to be tempted to do it. It feels too good. It tastes too good. It is too hard to not do when you’re around it. 

But that’s the problem. Temptation lurks around every corner. At every dinner table. At every house. At every store. It even lurks at historically safe space like the doctors office and the hospital. 

We’re simple creatures. We want to feel good right now. We want relief immediately. We don’t want to feel uncomfortable now, and wait to feel good later. Especially when we know that right now is possible. We’ll deal with the issue later. Address it when we need to.

So that’s what all of the products and substances prey on. The need to feel gratified right now. Phones, screens, apps. Drugs and alcohol. Medications. Supplements. Food that isn’t food. They prey on the innate desire to fix right now, but they ignore what’s really wrong. They put a mask on it. A band-aid. They provide temporary relief that ignores the problem.

But eventually the problem grows too big and the mask no longer works. And by then it’s too late. Time has run out. The problem has grown too big and even a real solution with no longer suffice.

Avoid it. Address the problem.

The Effort to Course Correct is Worth It

A lot of times it feels like it’s impossible to correct a problem. But that is almost never the case. You can always fix a mistake or correct a bad situation. You don’t have to live with a bad decision. It might feel like it’s more work than it’s worth, or like the relief you will get from course correcting won’t be worth it. But in my experience it always is. Nothing is ever as bad as we make it seem in our head. 

The effort required to change is often a fraction of what we think it will be. The sense of relief is 10x what we anticipate it to be. We downplay how much better it’s going to feel if we act on what we want. And we downplay the misery we’re currently feeling so that we can convince ourselves not to do the hard thing.

There’s simple stuff like when you’re lying on the couch watching TV and would like another pillow to prop you up, or a blanket to take the edge off. But you don’t want to move. It feels like too much effort to get up and walk into the other room. So instead you lay there not as comfortable as you could be. In your mind the benefit of being more comfortable isn’t outweighed by the effort to get there.

Or you know you don’t want to eat out again. That if you cooked at home you would feel better and it would help kickstart the lifestyle change you’ve been thinking about. But cooking tonight requires going to the store, prepping food, making a mess, cleaning up that mess, and it’s already late. So instead you order out one more time. You don’t feel bad necessarily, but you don’t feel as good as you would had you made a home cooked meal. You’ve convinced yourself it’s not that bad.

Then there’s the more complicated bigger items, like figuring out where to live. Something I went through in the last 2 years.

By my second full year living in Los Angeles I knew I didn’t want to live there long term. But I also didn’t know where I wanted to live, and the idea of trying to figure it out, throwing a dart at a map, spinning a globe, fatigued me. It seemed like it would take forever, and in those moments living in Los Angles seemed like a fine option. But I was never fully comfortable there and I knew I had to go. I couldn’t bury the feeling.

So at the end of 2022 my girlfriend (now fiancé) and I put all of our stuff in storage, left LA, and embarked on a 3 month road-trip to find a place to live. We drove from Los Angeles, to Massachusetts, down to Florida, and back up again. When we didn’t find a place we liked, we moved in with her parents for the spring and summer. By the time fall came around we were toying with moving to Colorado. It checked a lot of boxes for us, and plus we had no other ideas. 

Around the same time, coincidentally or not, our friend told us about someone he knew who was looking for renters in the Denver area. We took it as a sign of fate, and jumped on it. By the end of October we were driving to Colorado with a small Uhaul in tow full of belongings from the east coast. Almost a full year after leaving LA, November 1, 2023, we were now living in Colorado.

But the home we were renting was temporary. We had 6 months to find something long term. So we spent our first few months driving all over Colorado looking at different areas and homes to potentially live in. After driving across the whole state and back, twice, we concluded that we wanted to be close to Denver. At first we tried to buy a house, but I was basically denied a mortgage because I didn’t have any non investment income. So we looked for rentals, and luckily found a place we love. 

On June 1, 2024 we officially moved in and got right to work making it feel like home. With one problem. Most of our things, furniture, books, dishes, more clothes, exercise equipment, was still in storage in LA. So at the end of May I had to fly to LA to meet movers who would empty our storage bin and drive everything to our new home.

I flew to LA, stayed with a friend, met the movers, then flew back to Colorado to pack up and move the rest of our stuff, all in time to meet the movers arriving with our stuff from California.

Packing up our apartment in LA, putting everything into storage, driving around the country searching for a place to move, living with my in-laws for 6 months, driving to Colorado, searching for a place to live there, flying back to LA to get our stuff from storage, flying back to Colorado to move the stuff we already had with us, was a lot of fucking effort and time spent over an 18-month period to land where we are now. But all of it was worth it and I’d do it all again, because I’m infinitely happier than I ever was in Los Angeles. 

There were times when I was in LA that I thought I’d just suck it up and deal with being there. But lucky for me I’m incapable of silencing my desires. I’m so happy I listened to that voice that said get out, and followed through on my decision. It was more work than I ever anticipated, but not more than was worth it to be happy. The relief I feel now about living somewhere I love is 10x what I expected. The path of resistance always leads to better outcomes.

Revisiting Books That Have Impacted My Life

I decided the other day that I’m going to go back and re-read some of the books that have had the greatest impact on me over the last few years. Books, like movies, news articles, our childhood, and even our dinner last night, are things that we think we remember in great detail, but upon revisiting them realize that there’s a lot we’ve forgotten. We might remember the ending, the overall theme, or the favorite part of our meal in the case of dinner, but the details always elude us. And sometimes we flat out get it wrong.

Over the past few years I’ve read hundreds of books that have helped guide me and shape my life. Books on self-improvement, optimization, health, and longevity. Books on agriculture and the food system. Biographies and memoirs. Books written by scientists, doctors, and researchers. And after finishing each book I’ve closed the pages convinced that I now knew everything contained between the covers. But the truth is that while the concepts might have stuck, the details mostly stayed on the pages.

I’ve learned this over and over. Each time, for instance, I’ve re-read Boyd Varty’s The Lion Trackers Guide to Life, I’ve picked it up convinced there was nothing new to pull out of his story, and no more sentences to highlight. But each time I’ve gone back through it, five times now, I’ve proven myself wrong. There are now more sentences underlined than not.

I’ve decided to start with a book that stands out in my mind as one of the first books to really impact my behavior. That’s in part, by coincidence or not, because it was one of the first books I read after leaving my job in 2018. It’s a book that I was only drawn to because of its bright yellow cover and its convincing title. The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg stands out to me as essential reading for anyone looking to break bad habits and start new ones. Charles Duhigg explains the scientific reasoning behind habit formation, which moves habits out of the realm of chance, luck, or genetics, and puts them firmly into the control of the reader.

Just a few pages into the prologue and I was already struck by how powerful the book is, which reaffirmed why it made such an impression on me. Here’s a paragraph from the prologue. [emphasis mine]

“Lisa was the scientists favorite participants because her brain scans were so compelling, so useful in creating a map of where behavioral patterns - habits - reside within our minds. 

“You’re helping us understand how a decision becomes an automatic behavior,” the doctor told her.

When we think of habits, we picture something that is almost innate within us. Which makes it hard to picture changing. The self-limiting belief statement, “Its just the way I am,” which we all use, comes to mind. But when we break habits down into what they really are, behavioral patterns, we begin to see that a habit is a pattern of behavior, and we see that our patterns can change.

Second, “how a decision becomes an automatic behavior.” When we seek to change a behavior, to stop drinking, to exercise more, to be better partners, to be kinder to our children or pets, to clean up our diet, the first thing it requires is a decision. You need to decide, unequivocally, that you are going to do it, and not waver from that decision. The decision to change is the first step to change and, even if your actions don’t immediately align with that decision, and your behaviors don’t reflect it 100 percent of the time, you need to remain iron clad about your decision.

This is really powerful stuff and I’m only a few pages in. I’m so excited to see what else stands out to me as I flip through the pages for a second time. By the looks of it I can already see why 6+ years after my first time reading it The Power of Habit made such an imprint in my mind.

Prep for Movement, Don’t Warm Up

I don’t like the term warm up. It implies that the purpose is to get warm. I much prefer the term movement prep, a phrase that I think is pretty common now, but I only picked up recently in my classes with Beth Lewis.

You may get physically warm or even sweaty during a warm up, but that’s not exactly the point. The point is to get prepared for the exercises and workout you are about to do. So, if you were about to swing some kettlebells for instance, a good warm up is a handful of exercises or moves that engage your core, your hip hinge, and target mobility. Not running for 10 minutes on the treadmill.

It’s just another reason why I think most people don’t stick to their workouts long term. They don’t have a good movement prep, and therefore they either skip it, or aren’t properly prepared to workout. And over the long run being unprepared leads to shitty workouts and pain. Movement prep, getting your body and mind primed correctly, is essential to the long term success of any workout program.

What do you do with your hour?

If you want to get better at something you need to acknowledge three things. One, it’s a lot of work. Two, it takes time. Three, the longer you wait, the harder it becomes.

Everyone gets at least one hour per day to themselves. It might be 6 ten minute breaks. It might be two 30 minute breaks. Or it might be sixty consecutive minutes. The question is, what do you do with your hour? Do you watch TV? Do you read? Do you scroll social media? Essentially, do you look for something to distract you or do you look for something to engage you?

There’s a lot that you can accomplish in one hour. You could read 1 - 2 chapters of a book, which would probably be a whole book or two every couple of weeks. Over 20 books per year. You could do a full workout, including a warm up and a cool down. You could cook enough food to last the next few days. You could look for a more rewarding and fulfilling job.

You could do all of the things you say you never have time to do.

Everyone Already Knows the Answers

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I started chatting with a guy on the chair lift the other day. He asked me if I took off from work to be there. It was mid-day on a Friday. I told him I work from home, so I didn’t have to. I just skipped out for a few hours. When he asked me what I did for work, I told him I run a blog.

“That pays the bills?”

“No,” I laughed, “but hopefully one day it will.”

He asked me what the site was about, so I explained the focus on health and self improvement, which prompted the question, “Are you a psychologist, doctor, nutritionist? What qualifications do you have to give out this advice?”

“No credentials,” I said, “just a life long devotion to the cause, and 10 years working in the healthcare system, where I learned everything we do wrong.”

“Right, treat the symptom, not the cause. My doctor has me on a statin for high cholesterol, and high-blood pressure medication. He’s been telling me for 10 years I’m pre-diabetic, and every time I go back to him he says the same thing. But I keep telling him, this is my new baseline.”

“It might be,” I said, “but the problem is if you do end up with diabetes…” He cut me off.

“I’m not going to get diabetes. I know what my problem is. It’s the three beers I drink before bed. It’s the three brownies and Cheez-its I had for dinner last night. It’s not every night, it’s not all the time, and I’ve really cut back, but I know if I cut it all out, I’d definitely get rid of this belly.”

“But I’m happy,” he continued, “I’m having fun.”

Everyone knows but no one wants to do it. It’s this idea that prompted me to write this piece the other day talking about how the formula is always the same. It’s always the same, beer, brownies, and Cheez-its are bad, and everyone already knows it. But very few people act on it. Not until it’s too late.

The number one reason I hear and read about that makes people finally focus on their health is a health scare. Number one reason. I’d say the number two reason is for their children. I don’t know if there’s a third. Very few people wake up one day and just decide to do it for themselves, which is a shame.

But the problem as I see it is that drinking beers, eating brownies, and snacking on Cheez-its might sound fun, and it might make you happy when you’re doing it, but I have a hard time believing that it’s more fun and creates more happiness than doing the opposite. That it creates more smiles in the longer run compared to being healthy.

I can only speak from personal experience. I’ve been devoted to my health for more than half of my life. And during that time I’ve drank, I’ve done drugs, I’ve stayed up late, I’ve eaten shitty foods enough to know what it all feels like. But I’ve spent many more hours not drinking or doing drugs. Getting a full night’s sleep. I’ve eaten many more meals full of whole foods rich in vitamins, fiber, and other nutrients. And hands down, 10 out of 10 times, the latter is what has made me happy and have fun. And the more dialed in I’ve become over the years, the greater the returns on happiness have been.

If you’re just waiting until you have a health scare, until you finally cross that threshold from pre-diabetes to full blown diabetes, then you are wasting time feeling below optimal. You’re not feeling as good as you could be feeling, which might not seem possible to you, but I promise you it is. If you are allowing alcohol, added sugars, and highly processed foods to occupy a full time seat in your life, then you are allowing those substances to reduce your vibration. You are letting them keep you down.

Life is short, and you only get one. Don’t wait until you have a health scare or until having kids wakes you up. Start making the change now. Every day is a good day to try.