Space and Reflection

Going away is important because it’s the only time I remember all of the things I’ve been meaning to do. As the trip gets closer, everything comes rushing back to me. I didn’t hang the heart or the mermaid, or the tree lights in the basement. I didn’t set up the soaker hose. I didn’t book a campsite for our trip next week. As the prospect of getting away creates space in my mind, things that were buried away coming charging to the surface.

I also start reflecting more. Reflecting on my relationships. What’s going well? What can be better? How can I improve? Reflecting on my place in the universe. What’s going well? What can be better? How can I improve? That’s the real luxury of getting away and escaping the daily grind. It’s not the fancy hotel on the beach, or the one of a kind rental in the heart of the city. It’s not the all you can eat buffet, or the street food market. It’s not the sun, or the shopping, or any of that stuff. Although those things can all be nice. The value is in a trip’s ability to create space for new thoughts. That’s the luxury.

It’s doesn’t matter how happy I am, or how well I think my life is going. The moment I start preparing to go away, a more accurate picture of my life starts to appear. Things I’m doing that I don’t want to be doing. Things I’m not doing that I do want to be doing. Things I want to do more of. Things I want to be paying attention to but I keep getting distracted from.

Reflection is really important, but it’s really hard to do when you’re knee deep in it, day in and day out, without a break. Reflection requires being able to step away for a moment, or moments, in time. And if you don’t have that ability, or access to that space, then it can be a very hard place to be. And I can’t help but think that that has played a major role in the decline of mental and physical health in this country. Most people are grinding away just to keep their heads above water, and never get that time to ask, “What’s going well? What isn’t?”