Change

I’ve been accused of changing more than once in my life by people who “know me.” But there’s an alternative consideration. That I never was the person everyone knew. That it’s hard as a child to really know who you are and not be influenced by the environment around you. Or even as a young adult, or young professional entering the work force.

More often than not, you’re just going with what you know and what you see around you. Rarely, if ever, stopping to think, “Is this what I actually want to be doing? Is this making me happy? Or is it just familiar?” And even if you do have that moment of question, it can be hard to answer without knowing what the other possibilities are.

I grew up in a house where I was required to go to college. And, while it was never said, it was implied, at least from my perspective, that after college I would get a job, get married, buy a house, and start a family. And while it never felt like the right plan for me, for years I kind of went along with it. It’s embarrassing to admit, but at the time I couldn’t conceive of an alternative plan. I didn’t understand what else was possible, so I followed the one I’d seen play out around me and was comfortable with. But that’s just one example of many.

We fall into this trap with our beliefs too. We grow up thinking we believe something because the people around us believe something. We fall for it with our likes. We like what the people around us like. And dislike what they dislike. We think we’re interested in a sport, art, or certain food, because of something innate in us, when really it’s just something common amongst those around us.

So when we get older and, if were lucky and courageous enough, we take the opportunity to separate ourselves from what’s familiar, like the beliefs, likes, dislikes, and interests that saturate the environment we grew up in, we start to really learn about ourselves, and more often than not all of those things begin to change. From the outsiders perspective they believe you have changed, or someone changed you, or something in your environment is the reason.

But what they don’t understand, because they’ve never experienced it, is that it was in you all along, waiting for something or someone to ignite it.