Permission and Knowing What’s Possible Can Change Lives

Permission and possibilities are two things that everyone needs to have if they want to be succesful. Permission to try something new, do it in a different way, or do something out of the ordinary. They also need to know that it’s possible, regardless of their situation or their beliefs. 

I’m re-reading The Power of Habit for the first time in 7 years, and the chapter Starbucks and the Habit of Success reignited this idea for me.

I found this quote from Howard Schulz to be particularly powerful.

“And I really, genuinely believe that if you tell people that they have what it takes to succeed, they’ll prove you right.”

Starbucks’ success has hinged on this belief, and has been a huge influence on the way they train their employees. They grant their employees permission to succeed, and they give them the knowledge to make it possible.

They don’t just tell their employees what to do, how to make a cup of coffee, or how to treat customers. They give them the tools to do so. They’ve developed a full curriculum around it. The LATTEE method is one example. It’s used to address angry customers.

Listen

Acknowledge

Take action

Thank them

Explain why the problem occurred

They also teach their employees how to properly give colleagues criticism, and a system for handling orders when the store gets very busy. One of their mottos is: They don’t serve coffee, they serve people.

They set their employees up for success by giving them permission to be great, and showing them how it’s possible.

The book outlines the example of one employee. A young man born to drug addicted parents. Before going to Starbucks he was unable to hold down a job. Because he grew up in a chaotic home where stolen cars would often be parked in the driveway, and he and his siblings didn’t know if today was the day they’d have to save their parents from another overdose, he struggled to control his emotions, and would frequently lash out at customers and colleagues.

No one ever gave him permission to be anything other than the son of drug addicts. And no one ever showed him it was possible to get out. Until he starting working at Starbucks and started to acquire tools necessary to be succesful in the world, and how to interact with other people.

People need to know that it’s possible to change, and they need to be shown how. I think that’s a key component for anyone growing up. Without permission, and without knowing what’s possible, people are left stuck with no hope of improving, and nothing to aspire to.

Kids need this knowledge to reach their full potential.

Great, Good, and Bad Employees

Every time I lay down for a massage, like I did today, I immediately ask myself “why don’t I do this more often?” As my body melts into the heated table, and my face settles into the support of the headrest, I begin to regret all those days that I convinced myself not to book one (usually because of the cost). And as the masseuse commences her work with gentle rubs, softening me up for an hour of much needed therapy, I tell myself “from now on I’m going to make this a regular thing.”

But almost as soon as I make that promise, it’s contradicted by the erratic and thoughtless work of the masseuse, who has ignored everything I told her, and reminds me why I always hesitate to commit to such a high ticket service. My expectations are almost never met. Nine out of ten times my experience doesn’t match the price I pay. And it’s for that reason that I put off such extravagance. 

In every profession there are three types of workers. Great ones, good ones, and bad ones. The great ones empathize with their clients. They know what they need without being told. The good ones listen to what their clients tell them they need, and get to work on addressing it. The bad ones have no ability to feel their clients, they’re not interested in hearing their clients, and they are only there to get a job done.

A great masseuse can sense what you need by touch. A good ones works on the problem areas you discussed beforehand. A bad masseuse is just there to follow their routine.

It’s not lost on me that complaining about a massage is a privilege. But I just think there is a lesson to be learned here. Not everyone can be great, but anyone can be good by just listening and being attentive. If you’re starting out in a career and you’re looking to move up the chain, stay focused on the needs of your clients. Hear what they are telling you, and check in regularly to make sure that you are addressing their concerns. Most times clients aren’t going to stop and tell you what you’re doing wrong.

Especially if they are anything like me. At the end of my massage I said thank you, and left a nice tip representative of her time and effort. But I will never book another service with them. It’s on you to make sure you’re doing a good job.

What can you eliminate?

Everyone talks about all the things you should do to optimize your life. They talk about all of the supplements to take. All of the hacks to incorporate into your day. The type, intensity, and frequency of exercise. But adding more to a busy life with limited capacity is a daunting task. Starting new routines and creating new habits requires consistency over a long period of time, and for that reason, for most people, they usually don’t stick.

That’s why I think that a much easier path is to eliminate the things from your life which do not serve you. Addition by subtraction. Remove what does not serve you and get back time and energy, and ultimately your health.

I think there are three things that almost everyone could eliminate tomorrow with minimal effort that would also drastically and immediately improving the quality of theirlife.

• Alcohol

• Social Media

• Added Sugar and Processed Food (“food that isn’t food”)

Anyone, in any situation, could eliminate those three things and instantaneously be on the road to a better, happier, more productive, version of themselves.

These three substances rob all of us of our mental, physical, and emotional health. They cause unwanted and undetected spikes in stress hormones, and deleterious chemical reactions. They are at the core of depression, anxiety, weight gain, and chronic disease, and therefore at the core of the health epidemic in this country.

And it’s not just our healthy that they wreck. These three substances act as sedatives, muting our intuition, causing lethargy, and interfering with our critical thinking. They block our motivation, and they silence our ambition. They convince us to check out, when we want to be tuned in.

Alcohol, social media, and foods that isn’t food, are collectively and directly responsible for the increased prevalence of disease and mortality. If we could eliminate these substances from our lives then we wouldn’t need to do anything else.

We wouldn’t need to be more active. We wouldn’t need a multi-vitamin or a handful of supplements. We wouldn’t need to view sunlight immediately upon waking up. We wouldn’t need to find ways to disconnect and be mindful. We wouldn’t need to do any of those things but we would, because we would feel such an immense physical, mental, and emotional improvement that it would become immediately clear to us that we wanted to do it all.

Alcohol, social media, and food that isn’t food are mentally, emotionally, and physically destroying us. If we can eliminate them, the rest will take care of itself.

Aligning Work with Expectations

We’re all guilty of it. Expecting things to get better without doing anything to help.

When I got back from a trip to Asia this past November, I realized that I had somehow injured my right shoulder. Depending on what position I put my shoulder in, I would feel a pinch and a jolt of pain. Even small movements like pulling the blankets over me at night sent a shock through my whole body. I don’t know how it started or when. The whole time I was away I was exercising and never felt even mild discomfort. So the only thing I could think of was something happened on the plane, or I grabbed our bags in an odd way and that set it off.

In the 3 months since I’ve been back, I’ve continued to exercise, while being careful to avoid any movements that hurt or aggravate my shoulder (a lot of running, skiing, and kettlebell swings). But I’ve done nothing proactive. I haven’t used heat or ice. I haven’t worked on my shoulder’s mobility. I haven’t done any rehab exercises. My strategy has mainly been focused on not doing anything to make it worse, and hoping for it to get better.

But it hasn’t improved. And despite doing nothing to help it, I expected by now it would.

I like to use physical examples to make points about how we all live our lives. Exercise, training, physical pain, provide tangible examples that are easier, in my mind, to grasp. If you want to finish a marathon in a certain time, then there are a certain number of miles you’ll need to run each week. There are certain speeds you’ll have to run during training. And it’s very easy to see come race day if you put the work in and what went wrong or right.

Contrast that to something more nebulous like trying to get a promotion at work. You could be the first one at the office very day. Finish all of your projects on time. Hit your monthly quotas. Receive positive feedback on your performance review. And still not get it. What went wrong?

Back to my shoulder. I think a lot of us expect improvement without actually putting in the effort that is required to improve. Not because we’re lazy or unwilling, but because sometimes it’s just easier to wish a problem away, or believe that things will just get better. Or sometimes we think we’re helping, like I did by avoiding movements that aggravated my shoulder, when in reality we’re not.

My shoulder is one example. An achilles injury I suffered 7 years ago that I also never properly rehabbed, expected to get better on its own, and still bothers me to this day, is another.

For a time after leaving my job in 2018, I thought that my dream job was going to just walk up and pinch me, or that I’d meet someone who wanted to run with one of my many ideas. But none of that has happened, even though I believed it would.

It took a few years for me to realize that anything I wanted was only going to come true if I made it happen. The same way I’ve realized over the last few days that my shoulder isn’t getting any better on it’s own, and I need to work on it.

So for the last few days I’ve been doing light shoulder rehab in the morning. A few exercises before I start my day that have helped with other similar injuries. It’ll likely be some time before I feel any improvement, or get back to 100 percent. But at least now I can say that my work is aligned with my expectations.

What’s something you’ve been dealing with and expecting to get better, but looking back haven’t put the work into? How could you align your work with your expectations going forward to realize your desired outcome?

Mike Benz thinks American Prosperity is in Jeopardy

I listened to Mike Benz on the Tucker Carlson show, and I’ve started his episode with Joe Rogan. I like to listen to the same person on different shows because the differing views and interviewing style of the hosts gives you slightly different insights and information.

But in this case I put the Rogan episode on immediately after because I wanted to make sure, to confirm, what I thought I heard Mike Benz saying on Tucker Carlson. And that is, once USAID is gone, as it is anticipated to be, then we are going to need to find new ways of manipulating foreign governments and overthrowing politicians who are unfriendly to the US. We’re going to need a new way of accomplishing these same goals so that the US can maintain its dominance in the world and continue to live the prosperous lives we’ve become accustomed to.

Things like cheap oil for cheap gas. Favorable import and export agreements. Our inventory of over 700 military bases around the world, many of which are on “hostile” soil in places such as Cuba and Syria. These are things that have been accomplished according to Mike Benz, in part, because of USAID.

Mike Benz says he has spent the last 8+ years blowing the whistle on all of the nefarious things that USAID has been involved in. Both domestically and abroad. According to him, and documents that have been brought to light in recent weeks, USAID has not been operating solely in the humanitarian capacity we all believed it was. The AID in USAID stands for Agency of International Development, a name that could take on many different meanings, but is apparently not AID the way we all think about it. Rather part of its budget has been used to influence foreign governments into our favor.

And now that the cover has been blown, instead of being elated that his work has played a role, Mike Benz is nervous that the current administration and its elected officials don’t have the experience or insight necessary to dismantle USAID and maintain the US stranglehold on the world. That without USAID funded protests, riots, information gathering, misinformation campaigns, and influence on foreign judicial systems, the US might not be as prosperous as it currently is.

Over the past year or more I’ve finally begun to understand what it means to live in America and be an American citizen. This awakening first after I learned about how United Fruit Company, a US company, successfully lobbied the US government to overthrow Guatemala’s democratically elected president, Jacobo Arbenz, in 1954. Arbenz was nationalizing land, reclaiming uncultivated land and redistributing it to poor peasants in the country. Unfortunately the reform bill greatly impacted United Fruit Company’s land holdings. [read: The Fish That Ate the Whale for more details]. The CIA ended up backing a coup that successfully ousted the president and installed a military dictator with close ties to the US government.

I learned how a similar playbook was used in Cuba after Fidel Castro came to power and nationalized American businesses. Sugar was Cuba’s main export and most sugar plantations were US owned. The Bay of Pigs Invasion was a failed attempt to overthrow Fidel Castro and secure American prosperity. [read: Cuba: An American History for the full history]. Or how the US has historically used its influence to keep coffee export prices down in South America, causing massive amounts of economic hardships in those countries [read: Uncommon Grounds: The History of Coffee and how it Transformed our World for more].

In more recent times I’ve read about the economic sanctions and oil embargoes placed on Venezuela with a stated aim of squeezing the “illegitimate” government of Nicolas Maduro. It’s merely coincidence that Venezuela has the world’s largest known oil reserve in the world. The sanctions and embargoes imposed on Venezuela have not brought legitimacy, instead they have crippled the economy and caused the great migration of Venezuelans to America seeking opportunity.

Or take this comment from Lindsey Graham telling you in plain detail why we really support the war in Ukraine. “They’re sitting on $10 to $12 trillion of critical minerals in Ukraine”, Graham stressed. “They could be the richest country in all of Europe. I don’t want to give that money and those assets to Putin to share with China.”

If Trump and Israel succeed in displacing 2 million Palestinians that call Gaza home, and taking control of the land, it will be just one more example of the empire’s control.

At times during the interview Tucker Carlson pushed back saying why can’t we just use our power to promote peace and security. But at all times they regressed to the need of controlling foreign interests. It was shocking to hear the cavalier way in which two grown and educated men spoke about controlling the resources of other countries, and the fear they projected about the possibility of it coming to an end.

We claim to be the richest and most powerful country on earth because we promote freedom, democracy, and capitalism. That we are the best because we allow the best to come here and innovate. But that’s not really the case at all. We are the richest and most powerful nation on earth because we rob, rape, and plunder every other nation’s resources. 

I recently read Judgement at Tokyo: World War II on Trial and the Making of Modern Asia, in which I learned that since WWII Japan has not had a military. Their defense department is in place solely, as the name suggests, for defense. They are not allowed to be the aggressor in any war. It was part of the agreement that ended WWII. And up until learning that, I had never even considered that an army would be used for anything other than aggression abroad. That’s not something that was ever on my radar growing up in the US. We have the most powerful army and we use it often and loosely.

With the dismantling of USAID, and other peace talks happening right now, my hope is that we can finally start to turn the tide of who we are as a nation. That for once in my lifetime, and maybe in the last 100 years, our foreign policy could actually align to the principles we claim to promote. That we can use our wealth, power, and influence to promote peace, prosperity, and security both here at home and abroad. There are more than enough resources in the world for everyone to prosper. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone did.  

Squashing Uncertainty by Being Prepared

Next week my fiancé and I are snow shoeing 8 miles into the snow covered mountains to stay 2 nights at a small hut in the woods. And as the date of our departure approaches I find myself getting more and more nervous. Even contemplating if we should back out.

But why? I’ve done plenty of similar adventures in my life and they have all turned out to be amazing experiences. Even if there were periods of pain and discomfort I can’t name one I regret. Adventures like this is the reason I moved to Colorado.

It’s not the distance I’m worried about. 8 miles, 2,000 ft of elevation gain, is pretty mild for me, and for my fiancé (even though she wouldn’t admit it). We’ve done harder, longer, trips in Colombia and Switzerland. Trips where we had to carry more.

So what is it about this trip that has got me questioning why I wanted to do its in the first place? What strings is my resistance pulling in my head and how do I overcome them?

As I pondered it I realized the main concern is the uncertainty of it all, and that I didn’t know much about what we actually signed up for. I knew very little when I booked the hut, and I’d done no research since booking it. Instead I’ve just gone over and over it in my head guessing at what it might be like with no information. 

The “what ifs” we’re taking over. The “what ifs” that cause the most stress in life. 

But I’ve realized over the years that if you can take away the uncertainty, you can drastically reduce your stress, and greatly improve your chances of performing well. But it requires some work.

So yesterday I started doing some research, and already things are looking better. For one, I found out that the hike is actually 4 miles in, 4 miles out. I’d missed the “out and back” type when I looked the route up (most people hike to the cabin and come back the same day). Which is a nice relief because while 8 miles is in our wheelhouse, 4 miles means we can start later, take our time, and carry more comfort items.

I also watched a video and got to see the inside of the cabin. Relieving some stress about where we’d be sleeping and what we’d be sleeping on. I got a good look at the kitchen setup including the pots, pans, and utensils that are available. I also saw how the snow melt, our source for water, works. There are a couple of metal buckets you fill with snow and bring inside and set on top of the wood stove. Pretty straightforward.

I also looked back over the website to see what else is supplied so I could determine what to pack. Kindling, fire wood, toilet paper, sleeping pads, a camp stove, are all provided. It looks like we’ll need sleeping bags, pillows if we want them, and our sleeping bag liners. We also need a small propane tank for the stove. And of course as much food and snacks as we’re willing to carry.

The biggest concern which we have no control over remains the weather. Right now it looks like it’s hovering in the negative degrees. Brrr. But I found two different websites with detailed weather reports that I can follow leading up to our trip so we’re not walking in blind.

With all that information I now feel 10 times better about the trip and I’ve also been able to plan a couple of day hikes from the cabin for our one full day there. What we would do all day was another concern (god forbid we’d hang out with nothing to do) that is now alleviated.

Taking the uncertainty out of things, whether it’s presenting to a group of people, taking a test, going on a job interview, or going on a new adventure, is really the key to feeling confident and ready. Being prepared, having a plan, and knowing what to expect can take you from worried to excited. From timid to charismatic. When it comes to a big event, a little preparation makes all the difference. 

Homemade Granola

My fiancé and I hosted Christmas this year. Most of her family flew in from the east coast to celebrate with us. Her sister and brother-in-law were supposed to come and stay with us. But at the last minute they weren’t able to make the trip. In preparation for their stay we stocked the house with some essentials they like. One of them was granola.

We don’t normally eat granola. Most of it is of pretty poor quality and loaded with added sugar. But if there’s granola in the house you better believe that were going to eat it. And since her brother-in-law never showed up, we went to town chowing down on his granola.

Once it was gone we wanted more, but we didn’t want to buy the packaged stuff. So, we made our own.

Homemade Granola Recipe

My fiancé found this recipe. We’ve now made it twice. It delicious. But we have made a couple of slight modifications.

One, we added chia to ours. Chia is packed with healthy fats and fiber and is therefore a great addition to any baked foods.

Two, we added chopped up dates to ours and omitted the craisins.

Three, on the second go we ran out of maple syrup and used honey instead. I actually think it tastes better with honey.

One other thing we found helpful was to place the walnuts, almonds, coconut, chia, cinnamon, and salt into a food processor for a few pulses before adding it to the mixture. It helps to spread the flavors throughout the granola a little more.

But this recipe has for sure become a staple in our pantry.

Intuition vs. Resistance

Everyone has two voices. Which one do you listen to more? 

Voice 1 says: let’s cook.

Voice 2 says: let’s just order pizza, its been a long day. It would be so much easier.

Voice 1 says: let’s go to the gym.

Voice 2 says: you just got home from work, relax a little bit, unwind. You deserve it.

Voice 1 says: let’s read.

Voice 2 says: ok, but let’s check our phone first.

Voice 1 says: you know what would be really nice, if I bought my partner a nice set of earrings for her new piercings.

Voice 2 says: earrings are expensive, we’ve been spending too much money recently. Also, I don’t know which ones to get. Let’s do something else, something simpler, and cheaper. 

There’s so many conversations that take place in our heads every day. One voice is telling us what we need to be doing. It’s guiding us along our path towards our best life. The other voice is coming up with every excuse under the sun to convince you not to do it. It’s too risky. You’ve never done it before. You have time, it doesn’t need to be done today. 

Which voice are you listening to?

Listen to your first one, that’s your truth. Ignore the second one, that’s your resistance.

Taking Inventory of What Works and What Doesn’t

When I’m feeling off, I want to know why that is so I can fix it. What’s going on in my environment to cause it. I try to figure it out because in our every changing world that’s full of distractions, stress, controversy, and temptations, I like to know what’s going on with me. I think it’s the only way to stay sane and healthy.

So maybe I missed a workout. Or maybe I haven’t done the activity that I’ve been wanting to do. Like go skiing or hiking. Maybe I need to pick up the phone and call a friend or a loved one. Maybe I’m missing that connection that can only come from a familiar voice. It could be that I’ve been indulging too much in foods outside of my normal diet. Poor quality foods that contribute to poor sleep, poor workouts, and poor moods. And once I’ve done my assessment, and figured out what’s going on, I get to work on making changes. 

I try to act on what I believe to be the culprit. It doesn’t always take right away. Sometimes it takes a few days. Sometimes I’ll have a bunch of starts and stops.

Like with diet, which is easy to visualize. I might realize that I’ve been having too much dairy. I’m pretty lactose intolerant. The only dairy I can really tolerate Is Greek yogurt. Problem is I love cheese, milk, and rich yogurt with the buttermilk cream on top. So it’s very easy for me to throw caution to the wind and indulge, only to find myself not feeling great, and not realizing how I get there. Until I start assessing it.

Sugar is another good example. In my normal routine I don’t consume added sugar. But if I go on vacation I always allow myself to indulge in sweet treats. Problem is sugar cravings don’t stay abroad. They follow you home. It can take a week to 10 days to wean off sugar and kick those cravings. All the while not realizing why I feel so lousy. It takes that internal assessment to realize what’s going on.

Sleep is another good one. I read this quote, “if you don’t know what it is you need, it’s probably sleep.” So true. I think about that one all of the time when I’m going through my assessment. Nine out of ten times when nothing else is working, it’s sleep that I need.

It works in the opposite direction as well. When I’m feeling really good and full of energy I like to understand why so I can keep it going and replicate it in the future. Usually when I’m feeling good it’s because I’ve foubd a good cadence with my workouts. Not too intense to leave me drained, but intense enough to feel accomplished and see results. 

Lately the best days have been ones that start with writing. Whether that’s stream of conscious writing that clears my head, or jotting down more thought out ideas like this one. I find that how I start my day is the biggest indicator to how my day will go.

If I get time to myself to write or read or exercise, then my day generally goes pretty smoothly. My mood and energy levels stay pretty stable. Conversely, if I start my day by picking up my phone or opening my laptop, the rest of my day is a struggle. In the former I’m getting to engage with my mind or my body first. In the later I’m at the mercy of whatever pops up on the screen, and most of the time it’s not good. Most of the time it’s something that sets off my emotions and my adrenaline and dumps a bunch of cortisol into my veins.

I think that while this might sound like a lot of work to constantly be analyzing, it is the only way to live your best life in a chaotic world filled with temptation and distraction. There are so many inputs that are out of our control that we need to understand how they are all impacting us if we want to be our best. 

If you’re doing it right it becomes easier. If you do it often you start to recognize patterns (like the ones I mentioned above). The more often you notice them the quicker you’ll be at identifying them, and the better you’ll be at eliminating things (activities, foods, people) that no longer serve you. Which also makes more room for things that do. 

I realized a few years ago that alcohol no longer served me, so I gave it up. I realized a few years ago that triathlons no longer served me, so I stopped training for them. The void left by alcohol made room for psychedelic substances that have helped me physically, mentally, and emotionally break through many barriers. The time I was spending training for triathlons is now spent strength training (my first true love), and writing. Two activities that I have found a lot more rewarding.

The people I’ve cut out, the social media I’ve deleted, has allowed me to foster better relationships with the people closest to me.

I think that in today’s world there is just so much that we all need to consider each day. And if we’re not constantly doing honest assessments of where we are, then it’s very easy to end up down a path we don’t want to be down. The distractions and temptations are too much and too abundant. We need to be vigilant keepers of what’s making us feel better and what’s not. And we need to do more of the former and none of the latter. 

Pay Now or Pay Later

Every night before I go to bed I stretch for 5 - 6 minutes. I stretch not because I want to, but because I have restless leg syndrome. I stretch my calves, my hamstrings, and sometimes my glutes. If I don’t, and sometimes even if I do, my legs will ache with a nervous energy mimicking anxiety. And I can’t fall asleep.

I’ve been doing it for so long now that it’s part of my night time routine. But I hate doing it. Most nights all I want to do is get right into bed. Part of the reason I hate doing it is because it takes time and a little bit of extra effort. I know that after I floss, brush, and pee, I have to stand at the foot of the bed and go through my routine, while my fiancé gets tucked in.

It’s only 5 minutes, but when I’m ready to go to bed it feels like such burden. Which is why I sometimes skip it. Pray my legs don’t bother me, and jump into bed. But I almost always pay for it. Tossing and turning until the aching in my legs becomes too unbearable and I’m forced to get up and stretch.

But what’s the tradeoff? If I stretch, 9 out of 10 times I am able to fall asleep quickly and stay asleep. If I don’t stretch, 9 out of 10 times I’m tossing and turning for 10 - 20 minutes before I get up to stretch anyway.

So if I stretch, it costs me 5 minutes. If I don’t stretch, it costs me an additional 10 - 20 minutes.

Yes it’s annoying. Yes I wish I didn’t have to do it. But sometime you have to do things you don’t want to do. And our lives are filled with examples just like this one each day. When putting in the minimum amount of effort required in the beginning will save us time and effort in the end. But most of the time we still don’t do it.

You really want to be healthy and lose weight, but you don’t want t take the time to prepare lunch for work. So you’re forced to pick something up. Something that is not as healthy. More expensive. And cuts into your lunch break as you wait for it to be made.

You want to get active and start exercising but you don’t want to wake up early to fit in a workout. Days, weeks, months go by, and before you know it you’ve gained more weight, and now you have to dig yourself out of a bigger hole, magnifying the effort required.

You don’t want to waste time going to the DMV to get your license renewed, so you put it off. As the expiration date of your license gets closer you stress about it. Then you miss the renewal deadline. Now you have to go to the DMV anyway, and now you have a bigger fee to pay.

Your shoulder is bothering you, but you don’t want to go to the doctor. So you push through it. One day you feel severe pain running through your shoulder and your bicep. A few months ago you had a small tear, now you have a full tear that requires surgery, physical therapy, and months of being inactive.

Over and over in our lives we create more work for ourselves because we’re unwilling to put the effort in at the beginning. When the issue first arises. When the thought first crosses our mind. But what feels like work and a waste of time now is actually an investment and insurance that you won’t have to deal with it later on down the line.

Pay now or pay later. Your choice.

Perspective is Everything

SPOILER ALERT

It’s day 2 of Alone, Australia 2023 (new on Netflix), and 3 people have already gone home. One due to illness, two by their own choice. 

On night one it rained, soaking the camps of all 10 contestants, and dousing their fires and the surrounding areas. For most of the contestants it was just an unfortunate way to start a very difficult challenge. After getting setup on day 1, night 1, they had to spend day 2 starting over. Not a good use of energy or time when calories are limited and day light is always working against you. But for most of them after a moment of acknowledging their wet clothes, grieving their lost fire, and assessing what they needed to do to fix their shelter, they got to work. But that wasn’t the case for the two contestants who would tap out less than 24 hours after being dropped off.

For them it was all too much. A fatal blow they never saw themselves recovering from.

We (my fiancé and I) watched in amazement as they unraveled and let their fears take hold of them, paralyzed from being able to doing anything constructive. They paced around in circles talking to themselves about how bad the situation was. They mumbled repeatedly about how with everything wet they’d never get another fire started. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to them, at every other camp fires were being re-started, or not used at all. One guy chose to forgo the use of a fire until it got colder. He and a couple of other contestants caught rain water to drink so they wouldn’t have to boil any.

At one point the female contestant who would go home made a half-hearted attempt at starting another fire. And when it didn’t work out, she broke down and started counting the minutes until she would call for extraction. She looked around at the beautiful dense forest surrounding her with it’s trees covered in a rich green moss, and said “it’s so dark in here, I need to get out.”

Both contestants that left got picked up with pictures of their families in their hands. They had spent the whole morning of day 2 grasping at those photos. They used them as part of their rationalization to leave. They had a great life back home. Children and spouses they loved and missed. They told themselves that they could go. That they had nothing to prove.

But having something to prove and challenging yourself is precisely the reason that you sign up for this show in the first place. You know that you are going to be alone, separated from all of civilizations, including your family and loved ones, and that you’re going to have to fight to survive in a harsh environment with limited resources. That is the show that all 10 participants signed up for. The only difference is perspective.

It’s clear to me that the two people that went home on day 2 were checked out before they even got there. They just needed an excuse to hang on to so they could convince themselves that it was ok to leave. They entered the competition with that mentality. And when the rain came it was a blessing from god. They could pack it in. The rain literally and figuratively extinguished their fire. 

Instead of looking past it and realizing that it was only day 2 and they had time to course correct, they allowed it to occupy permanent residence in their head. They dwelled on it until it got so big that they couldn’t overcome it. All of the fears and anxieties they had before the show swelled in their brain like a balloon. Until there was no room for anything else.

And while these two people spent their mornings unravelling and complaining about their mis-fortune, 8 other contestants at 8 other camps in the exact same situation, went about their day assessing what they needed to do to survive and acting on it. Rebuilding shelters. Hanging wet clothes to dry. Building fishing poles and nets.

It’s an amazing example of the power of perspective and mental fortitude. And how important it is to be able to push through if you want to achieve the goals you set for yourself. How you prepare mentally is just as important, if not more important, as how you prepare physically. 

A few years ago a friend and I set out to summit a mountain together. Our first 14er. The day before we were set to go he said to me, “what if we don’t make it to the top?’ I turned to him and said “what other choice do we have?” 

Perspective is everything.

Avoid Whatever Your "It" Is That Tempts You

We can’t stop ourselves from consuming things we know we shouldn’t. Which is at the root of all of our problems. Which is why the best way to not do that is to stay as far away from them as you possibly can. Don’t keep it in your house. Don’t go to places that have it. Don’t hang out with people who do it. “It” is whatever you’re imagining it to be. Drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, processed food, sugary food, fried food (aka, food that isn’t food). 

Whatever “it” is to you, stay away from it. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you’re going to be tempted to do it. It feels too good. It tastes too good. It is too hard to not do when you’re around it. 

But that’s the problem. Temptation lurks around every corner. At every dinner table. At every house. At every store. It even lurks at historically safe space like the doctors office and the hospital. 

We’re simple creatures. We want to feel good right now. We want relief immediately. We don’t want to feel uncomfortable now, and wait to feel good later. Especially when we know that right now is possible. We’ll deal with the issue later. Address it when we need to.

So that’s what all of the products and substances prey on. The need to feel gratified right now. Phones, screens, apps. Drugs and alcohol. Medications. Supplements. Food that isn’t food. They prey on the innate desire to fix right now, but they ignore what’s really wrong. They put a mask on it. A band-aid. They provide temporary relief that ignores the problem.

But eventually the problem grows too big and the mask no longer works. And by then it’s too late. Time has run out. The problem has grown too big and even a real solution with no longer suffice.

Avoid it. Address the problem.

Expectations vs. Reality of Food Prices

As Americans we expect everything to be cheap. Including our food. But very few people understand how it actually works.

Over the last few weeks I’ve heard from so many people complaining about the rising cost of eggs, which is being driven by a fresh outbreak of avian bird flu. Avian bird flu largely impacts factory farmed chickens where it’s common for hundreds of thousands of egg laying hens to occupy the same living quarters. Very often with little to no room to move. These birds live, eat, breathe, sleep, and defecate all in one place.

Hundreds of thousands of birds living on top of each other. So when there is a flu outbreak, it’s typical for a whole flock, a whole warehouse of birds that is, to be culled at once. It doesn’t matter how many birds are actually infected or not. It only takes one positive test from one bird for all of the birds to meet their maker. It’s just assumed that given the close proximity of the birds that if one is infected they all are or will be soon. And in that case it’s much “easier” to just kill them all.

Every time there’s an outbreak of avian flu millions of egg laying hens are culled. The supply of eggs goes down. Consumer demand remains the same. So prices go up. Simple economics. One interesting but little discussed aspect of this system that I’ll leave for a different post, is that the farmers who cull large numbers of birds, are forced to do so by the federal government, who then reimburses them for the loss. Funded by tax payer money. Perhaps we could save some money and birds by raising them correctly. But I digress.

But part of the question is, how much should eggs really cost anyway? That is, if egg laying hens were raised in humane conditions and allowed to roam on open pasture feeding on grass and bugs, pecking and scratching, things they enjoy, instead of being crammed wing to wing in a factory and fed conventionally grown grains that are full of pesticides. What would a dozen eggs cost?

I’m not sure what the math on eggs is, but looking online it appears that organic pasture raised eggs are 3 - 4x more than factory farmed eggs. Which is about the same as chicken meat. Chicken purchased in the grocery store can be $2 - $3 per lb, while chicken I buy from my local farm is upwards of $10 per lb. It’s a significant difference. But the way I look at it is the price I’m paying today is an investment in my health and my community. But what would the down stream savings be if all the animals we ate were raised correctly.

How much would our health improve from eating quality nutrient filled meat that’s devoid of pesticides, hormones, and antibiotics, and instead is raised in sunshine, fresh air, and free to express their natural instincts, on a diet of grass and bugs? How much would we save in healthcare costs as a nation? How much more would a healthier workforce generate? Innovate?

If factory farms ceased to exist, and the number of family farms increased, how many jobs would return to rural America? What would the return of fulfilling work and community do to the health and economy of these neighborhoods? What would be the impact of giving the majority of the profits to local farms, farmers, and workers, instead of corporate owned factory farms?

What would be the impact on our environment by eliminating factory farms and instead allowing animals to roam freely out on pasture, rehabbing the land as they graze? Re-wilding the soil. How would this positive environmental impact help to reduce the ferocity and frequency of natural disasters? What would be the reduction in costs to rebuild? How many billions would be saved that could be used proactively instead reactively?

What would be the impact on the water if there was no pesticide runoff, no dirt erosion, no manure piles seeping into the ground?

We’ve been led to believe that food should cost an artificially low amount. But it’s never explained that we end up paying for it in the end. It’s never explained what the cost of cheap food is to our health, our communities, and our environment. Wasted water, polluted water, land degradation, deforestation, a collapsing middle class, degradation of our health, are all topics that are given little air time. 

The next time you find yourself questioning the cost of food, ask yourself why it costs that much or that little, and ask yourself what it should cost and why. Ask yourself if you know where that food came from. How it was grown or raised. And if it’s an option for you, find a local farmer who can tell you, and buy your food from them. 

We don’t pay enough for food. Instead we’re paying for it with deteriorating health and destruction of our environment. It’s no coincidence that both are failing at once.

Quinoa Sardine Bowl

Most times when I’m putting a dish together I’m really just looking to hit certain macros (fat, carbs, protein, and fiber - although fiber might not technically be a macro). In this case my body was craving healthy fats and healthy carbs.

At the base of the bowl is about 1/2 cup of multi-colored quinoa with chopped white onion. I drained the extra virgin olive oil from the sardines over the quinoa and added 1 tbsp of soy sauce. Soy sauce and quinoa with raw onion is one of my favorite combinations.

1/4 sliced avocado, 1 can of skinless boneless wild caught sardines from Wild Planet, and a few halved cherry tomatoes, sprinkled with a pinch of sea salt.

A totally delicious and nutrient packed bowl for any time of the day.

The Effort to Course Correct is Worth It

A lot of times it feels like it’s impossible to correct a problem. But that is almost never the case. You can always fix a mistake or correct a bad situation. You don’t have to live with a bad decision. It might feel like it’s more work than it’s worth, or like the relief you will get from course correcting won’t be worth it. But in my experience it always is. Nothing is ever as bad as we make it seem in our head. 

The effort required to change is often a fraction of what we think it will be. The sense of relief is 10x what we anticipate it to be. We downplay how much better it’s going to feel if we act on what we want. And we downplay the misery we’re currently feeling so that we can convince ourselves not to do the hard thing.

There’s simple stuff like when you’re lying on the couch watching TV and would like another pillow to prop you up, or a blanket to take the edge off. But you don’t want to move. It feels like too much effort to get up and walk into the other room. So instead you lay there not as comfortable as you could be. In your mind the benefit of being more comfortable isn’t outweighed by the effort to get there.

Or you know you don’t want to eat out again. That if you cooked at home you would feel better and it would help kickstart the lifestyle change you’ve been thinking about. But cooking tonight requires going to the store, prepping food, making a mess, cleaning up that mess, and it’s already late. So instead you order out one more time. You don’t feel bad necessarily, but you don’t feel as good as you would had you made a home cooked meal. You’ve convinced yourself it’s not that bad.

Then there’s the more complicated bigger items, like figuring out where to live. Something I went through in the last 2 years.

By my second full year living in Los Angeles I knew I didn’t want to live there long term. But I also didn’t know where I wanted to live, and the idea of trying to figure it out, throwing a dart at a map, spinning a globe, fatigued me. It seemed like it would take forever, and in those moments living in Los Angles seemed like a fine option. But I was never fully comfortable there and I knew I had to go. I couldn’t bury the feeling.

So at the end of 2022 my girlfriend (now fiancé) and I put all of our stuff in storage, left LA, and embarked on a 3 month road-trip to find a place to live. We drove from Los Angeles, to Massachusetts, down to Florida, and back up again. When we didn’t find a place we liked, we moved in with her parents for the spring and summer. By the time fall came around we were toying with moving to Colorado. It checked a lot of boxes for us, and plus we had no other ideas. 

Around the same time, coincidentally or not, our friend told us about someone he knew who was looking for renters in the Denver area. We took it as a sign of fate, and jumped on it. By the end of October we were driving to Colorado with a small Uhaul in tow full of belongings from the east coast. Almost a full year after leaving LA, November 1, 2023, we were now living in Colorado.

But the home we were renting was temporary. We had 6 months to find something long term. So we spent our first few months driving all over Colorado looking at different areas and homes to potentially live in. After driving across the whole state and back, twice, we concluded that we wanted to be close to Denver. At first we tried to buy a house, but I was basically denied a mortgage because I didn’t have any non investment income. So we looked for rentals, and luckily found a place we love. 

On June 1, 2024 we officially moved in and got right to work making it feel like home. With one problem. Most of our things, furniture, books, dishes, more clothes, exercise equipment, was still in storage in LA. So at the end of May I had to fly to LA to meet movers who would empty our storage bin and drive everything to our new home.

I flew to LA, stayed with a friend, met the movers, then flew back to Colorado to pack up and move the rest of our stuff, all in time to meet the movers arriving with our stuff from California.

Packing up our apartment in LA, putting everything into storage, driving around the country searching for a place to move, living with my in-laws for 6 months, driving to Colorado, searching for a place to live there, flying back to LA to get our stuff from storage, flying back to Colorado to move the stuff we already had with us, was a lot of fucking effort and time spent over an 18-month period to land where we are now. But all of it was worth it and I’d do it all again, because I’m infinitely happier than I ever was in Los Angeles. 

There were times when I was in LA that I thought I’d just suck it up and deal with being there. But lucky for me I’m incapable of silencing my desires. I’m so happy I listened to that voice that said get out, and followed through on my decision. It was more work than I ever anticipated, but not more than was worth it to be happy. The relief I feel now about living somewhere I love is 10x what I expected. The path of resistance always leads to better outcomes.

Revisiting Books That Have Impacted My Life

I decided the other day that I’m going to go back and re-read some of the books that have had the greatest impact on me over the last few years. Books, like movies, news articles, our childhood, and even our dinner last night, are things that we think we remember in great detail, but upon revisiting them realize that there’s a lot we’ve forgotten. We might remember the ending, the overall theme, or the favorite part of our meal in the case of dinner, but the details always elude us. And sometimes we flat out get it wrong.

Over the past few years I’ve read hundreds of books that have helped guide me and shape my life. Books on self-improvement, optimization, health, and longevity. Books on agriculture and the food system. Biographies and memoirs. Books written by scientists, doctors, and researchers. And after finishing each book I’ve closed the pages convinced that I now knew everything contained between the covers. But the truth is that while the concepts might have stuck, the details mostly stayed on the pages.

I’ve learned this over and over. Each time, for instance, I’ve re-read Boyd Varty’s The Lion Trackers Guide to Life, I’ve picked it up convinced there was nothing new to pull out of his story, and no more sentences to highlight. But each time I’ve gone back through it, five times now, I’ve proven myself wrong. There are now more sentences underlined than not.

I’ve decided to start with a book that stands out in my mind as one of the first books to really impact my behavior. That’s in part, by coincidence or not, because it was one of the first books I read after leaving my job in 2018. It’s a book that I was only drawn to because of its bright yellow cover and its convincing title. The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg stands out to me as essential reading for anyone looking to break bad habits and start new ones. Charles Duhigg explains the scientific reasoning behind habit formation, which moves habits out of the realm of chance, luck, or genetics, and puts them firmly into the control of the reader.

Just a few pages into the prologue and I was already struck by how powerful the book is, which reaffirmed why it made such an impression on me. Here’s a paragraph from the prologue. [emphasis mine]

“Lisa was the scientists favorite participants because her brain scans were so compelling, so useful in creating a map of where behavioral patterns - habits - reside within our minds. 

“You’re helping us understand how a decision becomes an automatic behavior,” the doctor told her.

When we think of habits, we picture something that is almost innate within us. Which makes it hard to picture changing. The self-limiting belief statement, “Its just the way I am,” which we all use, comes to mind. But when we break habits down into what they really are, behavioral patterns, we begin to see that a habit is a pattern of behavior, and we see that our patterns can change.

Second, “how a decision becomes an automatic behavior.” When we seek to change a behavior, to stop drinking, to exercise more, to be better partners, to be kinder to our children or pets, to clean up our diet, the first thing it requires is a decision. You need to decide, unequivocally, that you are going to do it, and not waver from that decision. The decision to change is the first step to change and, even if your actions don’t immediately align with that decision, and your behaviors don’t reflect it 100 percent of the time, you need to remain iron clad about your decision.

This is really powerful stuff and I’m only a few pages in. I’m so excited to see what else stands out to me as I flip through the pages for a second time. By the looks of it I can already see why 6+ years after my first time reading it The Power of Habit made such an imprint in my mind.

Prep for Movement, Don’t Warm Up

I don’t like the term warm up. It implies that the purpose is to get warm. I much prefer the term movement prep, a phrase that I think is pretty common now, but I only picked up recently in my classes with Beth Lewis.

You may get physically warm or even sweaty during a warm up, but that’s not exactly the point. The point is to get prepared for the exercises and workout you are about to do. So, if you were about to swing some kettlebells for instance, a good warm up is a handful of exercises or moves that engage your core, your hip hinge, and target mobility. Not running for 10 minutes on the treadmill.

It’s just another reason why I think most people don’t stick to their workouts long term. They don’t have a good movement prep, and therefore they either skip it, or aren’t properly prepared to workout. And over the long run being unprepared leads to shitty workouts and pain. Movement prep, getting your body and mind primed correctly, is essential to the long term success of any workout program.

What do you do with your hour?

If you want to get better at something you need to acknowledge three things. One, it’s a lot of work. Two, it takes time. Three, the longer you wait, the harder it becomes.

Everyone gets at least one hour per day to themselves. It might be 6 ten minute breaks. It might be two 30 minute breaks. Or it might be sixty consecutive minutes. The question is, what do you do with your hour? Do you watch TV? Do you read? Do you scroll social media? Essentially, do you look for something to distract you or do you look for something to engage you?

There’s a lot that you can accomplish in one hour. You could read 1 - 2 chapters of a book, which would probably be a whole book or two every couple of weeks. Over 20 books per year. You could do a full workout, including a warm up and a cool down. You could cook enough food to last the next few days. You could look for a more rewarding and fulfilling job.

You could do all of the things you say you never have time to do.

Almond Pulp Cookies

My fiancé went to hang out with her friend last week. Her friend has an Almond Cow, a machine that makes it really easy to make any type of nut milk or even oat milk you want. Her friend was telling her all of the different types of milks she’s been making and all the different ways she’s been using the left over nut pulp.

A couple of years ago my fiancé and I had been on a similar kick, making almond milk regularly the old fashion way. Soak the almonds overnight. Put them in a blender with a 3:1 ratio of water to almonds. Pour it all into a nut bag and squeeze out the milk.

When we first started doing this we were just tossing the pulp. Such a waste! So I started using it to make all sorts of things. But my two favorites were crackers and cookies.

After my fiancé got back from her friends we decided to make some almond milk (and order an Almond Cow). We maintain a strict diet of no sweets, so I decided to use the almond pulp to make us some cookies and give us a little “healthier” treat.

Banana Almond Pulp Cookies

I followed the recipe almost to a T with a couple of exceptions. One, I added 1 tbsp of chia seeds. Chia is packed with good fat and fiber and is therefore such a good addition to any healthy treats you might want to make. Two, I used dark chocolate chips instead of milk chocolate. Again, dark chocolate, cocoa specifically, is packed with so many more nutrients than milk chocolate, so when I’m indulging in chocolate I always go for dark. Three, which I don’t recommend, I baked the cookies for an additional 2 minutes. Almond pulp cookies are not like normal cookies in that the pulp doesn’t cook the same way flour wood in a normal cookie. When I tested the cookies at 22 minutes they felt kind of wet still. So I left them in for another 2 minutes, but then they got dried out. I think at 22 minutes they might be a little soft and moist still, but I think when it comes to almond pulp cookies that’s what you want.

Workout Journal: An Approach to Injuries

The best injury advice I’ve heard is to back off to the point of no pain. If weighted lunges hurt, reduce the weight. If they still hurt, drop the weights and just do bodyweight. If they still hurt, reduce the range of motion (ROM). Still in pain? Reduce the ROM even more. The point is to continue doing the exercises that cause pain, but regressing it to the point where it doesn’t hurt. You don’t want to eliminate the movement, you want to build up your strength and ROM until the pain stops and you’re able to progress pain free.

I used this technique recently and found it to be very effective. My right shoulder has been bothering me when I put it into certain positions, and when I load it with excessive weight. Even though it’s weight I’m able to press, because of the injury, which is likely due to overuse, it causes pain. So I’ve mostly been avoiding strength training, but recently I’ve been jonesing to move some weights, so I did a workout the other day and used this approach to get through it.

Flat bench dumbbell press felt ok as long as I kept my elbows tucked in. A form and ROM modification. When I flared them out, just to feel the difference, even slightly, I felt pain immediately. So I kept them tucked, which put more emphasis on my triceps and front deltoids, and eliminated any pain.

Incline dumbbell flys were in my workout as well, and at first I planned on subbing them out for a gentler and more stable movement. But I decided instead to use the injury advice above. I reduced the weight by 10 - 15 lbs per dumbbell, and I greatly reduced the ROM. To the point where, especially on the first few reps of the first set, it barely looked like I was moving. But by the last few reps of the last set however my ROM had increased almost to normal. And I felt very little pain. Just slight discomfort.

It was my first time really putting this advice into practice and I was really impressed with how well it worked. While it made sense to me when I first read it, there’s nothing like experiencing it for yourself.

In a way I’ve been doing the same thing with my running. Running long and fast (attempting to anyway) causes me great pain because of a chronic injury I sustained a few years ago. But I badly wanted to get back to running regularly. So, I’ve embraced this idea and embarked on a new easier program. I’m running a 5k five times per week on relatively flat ground, with no emphasis on the speed at which I run. I’m just trying to push it right now to the point before pain. 5k seems to be that number and so far it’s working.

A body in motion stays in motion. When you start to avoid certain activities is when your body starts to break down. Avoiding certain exercises starts to atrophy muscle endurance, strength, and mobility. That’s why I agree that it’s important to proceed with the movement that’s bothering you, albeit in a cautious manner. Rest is for broken bones, torn ligaments, and open wounds from surgery and the like, that can only heal with rest over time. For everything else, figure out the limit of the movement and work on getting stronger and more mobile.