The Behavior of Change

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The formula is not that easy and never the same

I used to think that everyone was impacted the same way by everything. The first time I realized that wasn’t true was when a few friends and I tripped on mushroom. I was expecting for all of us to have essentially the same trip. We didn’t. It was my first time taking a heavy dose of mushrooms, and it’s safe to say I had the biggest reaction to them. I’ll spare you all the details except to say that I spent the 6 hours on the floor, under a blanket, going between fits of crying, laughing, and asking the group if I should drink water. It was something.

One of my friends spent his trip walking around draped in a shaggy blanket, laughing at everything and everyone. My other friend played DJ and sat in a chair, eyes closed, listening to the music. My last friend kind of did a combination of everything, feeding off whichever one of us he was interacting with. The one thing they did have in common, was that they kept a close eye on me.

Now, we did all take different size doses. We also are four guys with very different builds. One guy who took as much as me, threw up about an hour into it. A couple people had done full trips before. A couple of us had not. But despite that, despite those differences, I was still shocked by how different our experiences were.

I was also shocked by what we each got out of it in the days and weeks that followed. I had a number of different break throughs during my trip. Some I think were pretty common, like fully understanding the connectedness of the universe and mankind. While others were deeply personal, like a new perspective on strained relationships in my life and the decision to confront them. 

But I never heard of any of the other guys having any new revelations about life, or the world. Or anything they planned on doing differently based on what they saw or felt during their experience. No new insights about relationships, work, goals or ambitions. Maybe they had them but never shared them with me. Or maybe because I was such a mess during my trip that they couldn’t get the full experience I had. Or maybe the different doses and body types played a bigger role than I realize. Regardless, I had expected we’d all come away with something similar to share.

A friend who I no longer speak to, recommended reading Boyd Varty’s The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life a few years ago. We were both at major transition points in our life, and trying to find our path. He assured me that this book would change my life. He was right. I listened to the audio version that first time, and I enjoyed it so much that I went out and bought a physical copy and have since read it three more times. It is the book I gift the most to people because of the impact its had on me. If you haven’t read it, and you are seeking your path, then I highly recommend it.

But it doesn’t appear that its had the same impact on my old friend. Although we no longer speak, we still have mutual friends, and they, unsolicited, update me from time to time on what’s he’s doing. In short, he seems to be doing the same stuff he was doing 4 years ago when he recommended that book.

So what is it about a drug, a book, a movie, a podcast, a news story, or an experience, that can have such a great impact on one person, while seemingly having no impact on the other?

A few years ago a friend of mine and I went to Patagonia for a 7-day trek around Torres del Paine National Park. It was only the third time I had ever been on a hike before in my life (I was 30 by this point). And it was the first time I had ever camped or backpacked. At the time both my buddy and I had just left long tenures at our respective jobs, and were unsure of what we would do in the future. That trip completely changed the trajectory of my life. It motivated me to leave New York, the only place I had ever lived, and it shifted my focus to exploring the outdoors. It also convinced me that there was more to life than a job. Six years later and I haven’t returned to New York, or work, while my buddy has. 

So what is it? I think it’s about intention. What do you intend to get out of this experience or do with your newfound knowledge? I think that you need to have an intention going into it in order to get anything out of it. I think that every body is at different points of their journey. Some people might not even have begun theirs. It doesn’t matter how old you are or where you came from. Your journey and where you are on it, is unique to you. And I think the number and types of experiences you’ve had prior tot his new one, whether it’s tripping on mushrooms, reading a powerful and influential book, or taking a trip that’s outside of your comfort zone, plays a role.

That’s why you can’t treat every person the same and expect the same outcome. That’s why you need to be kind and figure out where people are on their journey and meet them there. You need to understand where they’ve been and where they want to go if you want to help them. It’s very easy to just repeatedly bludgeon someone over the head with what’s worked for you, and wonder what’s wrong with them when you don’t get the result you’re looking for. But that’s why I’m saying no formula is the same and it’s not that easy. We’re all unique and we will all respond in kind.

Political Psychology

Maybe they should ban TikTok

I’ve thought it was a bad idea from the beginning, but I think I’m starting to come around to it. They claim the reason is because of Chinese influence on our society, and because China is collecting data on US citizens that could be used against us. But that’s not the real reason and we know it (at least some of us do). As the lawyer for TikTok accurately pointed out, if that really was the reason, then why are other Chinese owned companies that also collect user data still allowed to exist?

It’s like this excerpt from an article I read recently about why the US placed a $15 million bounty on Venezuela’s President Maduro. The US claims it’s because he’s been involved in trafficking cocaine into the US for the last 20 years, costing lives and ruining communities. But as the author accurately points out, that’s not the real reason. 

“If the United States were genuinely concerned about democracy and human rights, Venezuela wouldn’t even make the top ten of their hit list. If it were about promoting democracy or protecting human rights, they’d be placing bounties on the heads of Saudi Arabia’s royal family or Israel’s prime minister.“

No they want to ban TikTok because they don’t have control over censoring it the way they do Instagram and FaceBook, or the way they used to have control over Twitter (now X), before Elon Musk bought it. Or the way they have control over the narrative the news spins. “COVID misinformation,” most of which turned out to be true, spreading across TikTok is what started it, and now its about censoring the reality of the brutal atrocity that Israel, backed by US weapons and money, is carrying out in Gaza, and about squashing opposition to the US support for Ukraine.

But here’s why I’m coming around to the idea. Because maybe a ban on TikTok will lead to a ban of Instagram, FaceBook, X, BlueSky, Truth Social, pick your poison. Whichever platform you rationalize using. Maybe a ban on one, will mean a ban for all, and we can all start getting our lives back. People can stop endlessly scrolling at dinner, or while they’re crossing the street, or while they’re supposed to be working. They can stop looking at shit they don’t care about, and obsessing over things that don’t impact them. Maybe they’ll stop having their minds infected with things that don’t actually matter, and they can focus on what does. They’ll finally be able to get away from things that are just there to trigger their nervous system, to make them angry, and instigate a response. Maybe if we eliminate one, we can eliminate them all, and everyone can pick their heads up long enough to see what is actually happening around them.

Yes I could be in favor of a TikTok ban if it means all of social media goes away. I think we were doing just fine when it was just the internet. And I think if we can get back there it will transform the population. I know it will never happen, but this TikTok ban has got me dreaming.

The Behavior of Change

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“Every day represents an opportunity to start a new. To make the change you’ve been dreaming of”

Stay Close to the Pin

This is the advice I gave my buddy the other day. It’s also the mantra I repeat to myself. Particularly during times when my normal exercise and diet routines have been thrown off. Whether that’s by choice, like taking a trip abroad, or it’s out of my control, like hosting my fiancé’s family for a couple of weeks over the holidays. Stay close to the pin, the pin is your goal or desired outcome, means focusing on what is in your control that can keep you from veering too far off.

If there’s three meals in a day, and you know dinner is going to be an indulgent affair, like say going out for Italian, or celebrating a friends birthday, then make sure that the other two meals balance it out. As an example, when I’m traveling I like to have a big healthy breakfast with fruit, eggs, bacon, yogurt, and a garden salad. I like to fill myself up before I leave to explore for the day. This way I’m not jonesing for every piece of food or pastry I see. Also, so that when I indulge at dinner, which is inevitable when traveling, I at least know that I started my day on the right food. And, at breakfast the next morning I can balance myself out again. I’m just trying to stay as close as I can.

With family visiting, I try to do the same thing with breakfast, and I’ll also sneak other healthy snacks throughout the day. Some raw nuts. Some fruit. A protein shake. So when we sit down for dinner, I’m hungry, but not starving and in danger of overdoing it.

Exercise is similar. What can you fit in during your trip? Or while you have company? Or whatever else it is that might be throwing off your routine. Maybe it’s 10 minutes of squats, push ups, crunches, and lunges to start your day. Or a few variations of plank holds. If you’re staying in a city where you’re going to be walking non-stop, then maybe you don’t need to formally exercise. Just choose to walk over getting into a taxi, or taking the stairs over escalators or elevators. On a recent trip my fiancé and I walked for an hour from our hotel to where we were meeting friends. My one buddy kept messaging me asking where we were. They Ubered to the destination and ended up arriving 30 minutes before us and the rest of the party. When we finally got there I told him we walked. He immediately started laughing. He said, “We thought about walking but decided to take an Uber. I told the group if anyone would walk it, it was Jen and James.” He was right.

The idea is not to make physical gains while you’re traveling, or when you’re out of your routine in general. You’re not going to be able to make progress during these times anyway, so don’t force it. Take it as an opportunity to break routine. But do just enough to keep the muscle memory of your routine fresh in your mind. It might not be the 60 minute high intensity workout you’re used to doing, but something is better than nothing, and something keeps the habit front of mind.

Stay close to the pin also means to give yourself a little slack. Don’t torture yourself with your routine. If you’re torturing yourself, it won’t be sustainable. If it’s not sustainable then you won’t stick to it long term. And the most important thing when it comes to making progress is consistency over a long period of time. Back off a little bit if you need to. Indulge a little bit if you need to. Just keep an eye out throughout your day for opportunities to strike a balance. A big dinner out with friends can be followed the next day with a light healthy breakfast and lunch. A missed workout can be balanced by a long walk when you get home or in the morning the next day while you sip your coffee.

Stay close to the pin, so when you’re ready to return you don’t have far to go. Poor health, weight gain, is not the result of 1 or 2 missed workouts or bad meals. People don’t end up in a hole because they fell off. Everyone falls off at some point. What matters is how far off you fall and for how long. Stay close to the pin.

And if you have a desire to start eating better and getting more active, don’t ever let that desire die. Think about it every day. Tell yourself that today is the day. And if not, then tomorrow. That is the day. My boss used to take home a briefcase every night filed with work. But he never did any work at home. Finally one day I asked him, “why do you keep bringing everything home when you never work on it?” He said, “It’s the intention that matters, and one day I will.” Never lose your intention, and one day you will make it happen. Every day is an opportunity to make the change you want.

Not to get political

Healthcare

I was talking to my neighbor the other morning. We ran into each other walking our dogs. My fiancé and her both share a history of cancer. My fiancé currently has stage IV metastatic breast cancer. We found out less than a year ago. My neighbor knows this and was asking how she was. All things considered, she’s doing pretty great. But it launched us into a conversation about healthcare.

My neighbor’s new insurance doesn’t cover preventative PET scans, a very effective form of diagnostic imaging that could detect cancerous cells throughout the body. So she told me she’d first have to be diagnosed with cancer, again, for a third time, before her insurance would cover a scan. By which point it could be spread to multiple locations throughout her body. The best chance of survival when it comes to cancer is early detection. Which makes this policy insanely dangerous and stupid. 

Its backwards policies such as these that leave the patient out in the cold that caused me to leave a successful career in healthcare after nearly a decade. I could no longer be an accomplice to such crimes.

My neighbors husband it turns out left for similar reasons. He was working for an insurance company that celebrated when they got above a certain threshold of claims denials. The more claims they deny, the less services they pay for, and the more money that goes to their bottom line. The more of a chance that treatable diseases, like cancer, are missed, and people like my neighbor or my fiancé suffer.

One of my responsibilities at work was to fight the insurance companies for erroneously denying claims, and for what we called short pays (the health insurer is contracted to pay $90 for a service but they only pay $60). We had a whole department dedicated to this one function of recovering money we were owed, a large percentage of which was owed to the doctors we managed. We routinely negotiated multi-million dollar settlements ($30 x thousands of claims = millions of dollars). Wasting hours of our time, and never getting 100 percent of the money owed to us. The reason a doctor spends only 10 - 15 minutes with each patient is not just because of the low level of reimbursement they are receiving, but because sometimes they aren’t being reimbursed at all, and they need to make up for it with volume.

These are the very real games that health insurance companies play, and get away with. Sometimes the doctor pays for it. Sometimes the patient does. But the insurance companies always seem to walk away unscathed. Healthcare in this country is a business. And business, particularly in a capitalist society, is driven solely by profit. And when patient outcomes are pushed aside in favor of more profit, you end up with a nation of chronically sick individuals.

The Behavior of Change

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“The funny thing about a problem is that once you deal with it, it goes away.”

Are You Trying?

For the past 6 week I’ve been trying to lose the extra holiday/vacation weight I put on. According to the scale I’m up about 5 lbs. Most of the day I don’t even notice it. It’s only when I get in the shower, or at night before bed. That’s when it sticks out to me, and that’s when I usually mutter to myself something along the lines of, “I just can’t get rid of this belly.”

Now, the reality is that I actually have not been trying to Lise it. Ever since combing back from vacation and hosting the Christmas holiday, I’ve been allowing myself to indulge in food that I normally wouldn’t eat. Food that I wasn’t eating before my trip. The change has been sparked in part by a new desire to cook more recipes than are not in my normal repertoire, in terms of types of food, flavor, ingredients, and technique. Things like homemade granola (loaded with sugar), and homemade beef stew (loads with fat).

So really, it’s no surprise that I have yet to put a dent in those extra lbs. because I’m not really trying to. In fact, I’m consciously doing the opposite wow what I know I should be doing. And every time I look at my belly, I’m reminded of this. Right after I mutter to myself about not being able to lose it I follow it with a smile and say, “yea, but I’m kind of enjoying it.” I’m not ready to lose it. I’m not ready to begin trying. I’m enjoying the different foods, indulging for a change, and I don’t intend on stopping right now.

I talk to a lot of people who ask me for diet and exercise advice. Some are open to what I have to say, others are not. They don’t exactly say that, I can just tell by their excuses. “O that’s really hard, I love my pasta.” “What will I eat for cereal?” Or, “I don’t have the time.” They don’t realize it, but what they are really saying is “I’m not ready.” And that’s ok. But recognize the difference.

Stop torturing yourself with something that you think you want. If you don’t want to give up your pasta or cereal, and you don’t want to wake up early to exercise, then you don’t want to make a change to improve your health. Not yet at least.

You’re not actually trying, the way I’m not actually trying to lose my extra pounds but yet wondering why every night I see this “unwanted” belly. But one day I will, and so will you. Until then, enjoy the ride, stop beating yourself up, and come back when you’re ready. The point is, if you really wanted to do it, you would. Because when you really want something, you get it done.

The Behavior of Change

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As in a love relationship, we learn that what we thought we knew is not equal to what we are discovering. As in an intimate relationship, we learn that who we thought we were is not who we are now in the midst of all the disappearing boundaries. Almost always in relationship, what we think have to give, is not actually what is needed. What we thought was love, might not have been love at all. And what we thought we had to give up, is not after all what is being asked for - David Whyte

Sleep

It wasn’t long ago that I discovered that sleeping is a skill. For most of my life I considered myself someone who couldn’t take naps or sleep past a certain time in the morning. I was up when the sun came up, or the first time my eyes opened. When I went to take a nap, I would get up just minutes later. Sleeping extra was just not something that I was born with.

Until one day I realized that it was all a lie. That the reason I couldn’t nap or fall back asleep like so many other people I knew, was because I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to fall asleep during the day. I was busy, I had things to do. The same was true of the mornings. Once my eyes opened and I glimpsed the morning sun my mind would immediately start working and it seemed more important to get up and act than to stay in bed.

I realized this and so one day I did a little experiment. I went to take a nap, but this time I meant it. Instead of going into it with the mindset that I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep, I went in with the mindset that I really wanted to get some rest, even if it was for only a few minutes. I convinced myself that if I could rest for 20 - 30 minutes, that contrary to my prior belief that it would be a waste of time, that I would actually be more productive throughout the rest of the day. And it worked. And so for many days after, instead of fighting it and saying I can’t, I embraced taking a mid-day snooze.

More recently I’ve tried this same idea in the mornings. But for a different reason. I realized that on days when I actually slept past that initial wake up, that my days went smoother. I was less agitated. My brain wasn’t as foggy. Even my bowel movements were better. So I told myself that I could sleep in, and that I didn’t have to rise with the sun. That I could be someone who sleeps past 6 am. And so far it’s worked.

We have so many preconceived notions about ourselves. About things we are capable of and things we aren’t that are based on a lifetime of experiences. Since we’ve been doing something a certain way for most of our lives we’re convinced that it can’t be changed. That it’s innate within us. We were born this way.

But once you realize that that’s not true, a whole new world begins to open up. A whole new world where changing your behavior is possible. Where statements such as “I can’t, I’m not that type of person” begin to wash away and seem silly. We are capable of a lot more than we give ourselves credit for.

Your boots not in. 

We were out skiing and my fiancé was having trouble getting her boot into her ski. it was her third day ever skiing, and she was wearing new boots. From where I was standing I could see that her heel wasn’t lined up, and so when she pressed her foot down, her boot hadn’t clicked in. So, trying to be helpful I said “your boots not in.” She tried again. But the same thing happened. So I said, “your boots not in.” This happened one more time and she finally turned and, clearly frustrated, snapped back, “I know its not and you’re just standing there tell me its not. Do you think that’s helpful?”

I tried to explain that I thought it was, and that I didn’t think she could tell whether she was fully in or not. But, consumed with frustration, she didn’t see it that way. She just thought I was being a dick.And I can see how. But at the same time something else dawned on me.

It dawned on me how these small moments in a relationship could lead to bigger issues down the road, and leads to cracks in communication.

If one party thinks they are being helpful, but the other party doesn’t receive it that way, and is constantly pushing back, then it’s going to make their partner reluctant to give feedback. They’re going to hesitate to offer advice or even be truthful becasue they are expecting an unfavorable response.

They think they are coming from a place of being genuine, but they just end up getting their hand slapped. And the more and more it happens, the more and more they are going to default to being silent, and biting their tongue. Which is a crucial mstake in any relationship.

I realizd this as it was happening. And I realized its all these moments, if left unchecked, add up over years to lead to the demise of a relationship over time. But I also became aware of two other things.

One, no matter what, you can never be afraid to open your mouth in a relationship jut becasue of past experiences. Two, most importantly, that you also cant keep doing or saying the same thing and expecting a different response. I.e. “Your boots not in.”

You have to think o adifferent approach when the first one isn’t working. You have to think about a different way to get your point across, so that it is receifeved int the way in which you intended it. Maybe I should have skiied over and physically helped her place her boot firmly in. Maybe I should have showed her with my own skis. Or maybe I should have said nothing and just waited.

But its hard to see that in the moment, and correct yourself while its hapneing. But I think just being aware of it, even after the fact, will help the next time you find youself in that situation. And the more and more youre aware of it, the easier it will be to identify.

A disagreement or frustration over ski boots is not the end of the world. But I believe that getting it right in the small inconsequential moments in life is the key to having succcess in the moments that really matter.

Why are we paying for anything?

A few months ago I returned a rug to Home Depot. After a couple of weeks of having it in our bedroom we decided that we didn’t like the look or feel, so we returned it. Home Depot issued us a refund, and told me they were going to destroy it. The rug was new, but they decided it was easier to destroy it then put it back on the floor. The rug cost $250.

For Christmas my sister-in-law ordered my fiancé and I a karaoke machine. But after ordering it she realized it was the wrong one, so she logged back onto Amazon, cancelled the order, and ordered the correct one. They refunded her for the cancelled order, but sent both anyway and told her to keep them.

In Colorado and California I’ve volunteered with local food banks and food recovery organizations. Between them they recover millions of pounds of food each year, that would’ve otherwise ended up in the landfills. They distribute the food they recover to people suffering from food insecurity who are unable to buy enough groceries. The food being recovered is good quality food. Organic produce. Wild caught fish. Organic dry goods. Milk and eggs. Pork and beef.

Fifty percent or more of food in this country ends up in landfills. The waste starts on the farms, continues in restaurants and retail shops like grocery stores, and occurs the most in homes. 

So my question is, if all of these producers, manufacturers, and distributors are ok with just throwing away product, why not get organized and give it away? I know there’s a family who would love a $250 rug for their house. Or a karaoke machine for their kids. And most certainly everyone would love access to free nutritious food!

Or how about we get better at managing what ends up in our landfills so that we can lower prices by selling more product? I don’t know what the answer is, but I do know that more and more I wonder why I’m paying for anything.

In a society full of abundance waste is inevitable.

Ratatouille Stir Fry

Last night I made this stir fry. We had some veggies in the refrigerator that needed to be cooked but I didn’t want to just do the same old thing I normally do, which is either straight sautéed in olive oil and salt, or baked in olive oil and salt. Also, the original plan for the eggplant we bought was to slice it thin, egg wash, bread it, and fry it, but I was feeling like that was going to be too heavy for the night. So, instead I did a search for eggplant, zucchini, pepper recipe, and this is one of the recipes that came up.

Ratatouille Stir-Fry Recipe

I chose this one because I actually had all of the ingredients for it, except for the fresh basil which I wish I had because I know it would have made the dish that much better. But even without it it was really really tasty.

One thing to note, I had to do the eggplant in two batches because when I put it all in at once, half of the pieces were piled on top of other pieces and not getting cooked. So I removed about half, laid the remaining ones flat in the pan, and let them cook. Once cooked I removed them and brought the second half in.

I also didn’t use as much salt as this recipe called for. It felt a little bit excessive so I scaled it back. I rather under salt while cooking and add salt later on my dish.

I paired this recipe with leftover turkey from Christmas that I had frozen. A nice easy dinner for a Sunday night.

Workout Journal: Diet

I’ve had another realization recently that everyone’s approach to weight loss is the same. It doesn’t matter who you talk to or who you listen to, but its always the same. I had this realization while listening to Ethan Suplee on The Joe Rogan Experience.

When you ask someone what they did to lose a shit ton of weight, it’s never this big complicated plan that they undertook. It’s always the same.

I cut out sugar and refined carbohydrates and replaced them with fruits and vegetables, and whole grains. I only eat lean protein, and I exercise. It doesn’t matter what types of fruit, or what types of exercise. The key is just in eating those whole foods, eliminating the other ones, and starting to make yourself move for 30 - 60 minutes per day in some rigorous way. It’s basically what Ethan Suplee did to go from 550 lbs to under 300.

It is really that simple and it really is the same for every single person on the planet. Now how they convince themselves to make the change, and how they get themselves to commit to it long term, what their reason for the change is, that might all differ. But even that seems to be a pretty uniform thing. Someone has a health scare. They do it because they are a new mom or dad. They set a goal to run a race, climb a mountain, and need to get in better shape to do it. They’re incentivized by a work program, or their friend group. Or maybe their kids convince them. Whatever it is, it doesn’t really matter. They all represent a shit in mindset that says I want to feel better for X reason.

Some people might follow a certain diet, like paleo, keto, carnivore, or Whole360. But again, that doesn’t matter. You don’t have to follow a name brand diet. Because the foundation of all of those diets is that they are devoid of processed foods, added sugar, and refined carbohydrates, and they are loaded with whole foods and lean protein. 

So whether you accomplish that by only eating meat. OR eating a lot of healthy fats. OR eating a lot of raw nuts, it doesn’t matter. The formula is the same.

Eliminate added sugar, eliminated refined carbohydrates, and eliminate processed foods and the weight will fall off, and you will immediately start to feel better. 

My fiancé got diagnosed with stage IV metastatic breast cancer last April. Immediately upon finding out we cut sugar and refined carbohydrates out of her diet (cancer consumes sugar at a rate 100x normal cells). Within two months she lost nearly 20 lbs, and she only weighed about 116 lbs to start. Her mother, at my fiancé’s nudging, recently did the same thing. She stopped putting agave in her coffee throughout the day, and replaced her morning toast with fruit. She’s down 6 lbs in less than a month. She’s in her 70s. My father who’s 66 did it as well. He cut out all the junk, all the added sugar, and he’s lost over 30 lbs and is now shopping for new clothes.

The formula is the same. It doesn’t matter your gender, your ethnicity, your age. You just have to find your reason and your motivation to do it. And what better reason is there than to feel happier, more energetic, and clear minded. I don’t know of any.

Plant Based Meat Alternatives Are Bad, Kind Of, Depends Who You Ask

If you want to be confused, then read this article in Heathline. A new study was published assessing the health risks of eating plant based meat alternatives for vegetarians. In other words, ultra processed food that is devoid of animal protein. The takeaway.

“Researchers examined health outcomes for over 3,300 vegetarians by comparing those who consumed plant-based meat alternatives to those who didn’t eat these processed foods.

Vegetarians who ate plant-based meat alternatives had a higher risk of depression, increased inflammation, slightly higher blood pressure, and lower levels of a protein associated with HDL (“good”) cholesterol.

In spite of these changes, the researchers wrote that, in general, eating plant-based meat alternatives did not have any extra health risks for vegetarians, although they called for additional research on the possible links to depression and inflammation.”

When I read something like this I’m not sure if what I’m reading is actually real. Or if the author actually knows what they wrote. Or if they have even the slightest bit of a conscientiousness or awareness.

When I think about my diet, and the foods I avoid and the ones I incorporate, I generally try to avoid ones that lead to an increased rate of depression, 42% in this study, higher inflammation and blood pressure, and lower levels of good cholesterol. I don’t think that’s crazy to say and I don’t think that’s controversial.

If I said “here eat this foods, they are going to increase your chance of being depressed by 42%, increase inflammation throughout your body and your blood pressure, while lowering your good cholesterol,” I assume you would tell me to fuck off, and probably ask me why I’m trying to kill you.

But according to the research experts in this study, all of those side effects are not a cause for concern. According to these research experts, their conclusion is that “in general, eating plant-based meat alternatives did not have any extra health risks for vegetarians.” Really? Did we read the same study or do we need to redefine what health risk means?

It is exactly this type of “reporting” that has led to the insane health epidemic that we’re seeing in this country and that’s growing all over the world. This confusing, no real answer, wishy washy reporting, that always seems to ease your concerns after telling you that what you’re eating is killing you.

I can only assume that somewhere along the line the study authors and the author of this article were paid by plant based meat alternative companies to bend the reality into something that seems harmless. Otherwise, what would be the motivation other than complete incompetence?

It seems like the reason for this conclusion that plant based meat alternatives do not lead to extra health risks is because the study authors did not see a link between these processed foods and heart disease. Which I can only assume is the link they were after.

“Researchers wrote in the paper that despite these changes, eating plant-based meat alternatives did not significantly increase a person’s heart-related risks.”

It’s amazing to me that rather can ringing the bell on the 5 alarm fire that this report is, the researchers feel ok with the results.

“In conclusion, while no clear health risks or benefits were associated with PBMA [plant based meat alternatives] consumption in vegetarians, the higher risk of depression, elevated CRP, and lower apolipoprotein A levels in PBMA consumers suggest potential inflammatory concerns that warrant further investigation.”

Even if there is no direct link to “heart-related risks,” which I’m not sure I understand because I always understood high blood pressure and low HDL to be early signs of heart disease, shouldn’t there be an extrapolation of the trend to say that people who are depressed and have increased inflammation will eventually develop other chronic diseases as they age? I’m not a doctor, research, scientist, nutritionist, and I would bet my life that there is a connection.

But really all of that is not even the biggest tragedy of the study. The biggest tragedy is in calling it a “study” to begin with. The “study” included 3,300 people who were identified as being vegetarians based on a “a 24-hour dietary recall questionnaire, which everyone completed at least two of.”

Said another way, before the study started, participants completed a survey about what they ate in the previous 24 hours, and then the participants biomarkers were monitored for the next 14 years! but their diet was never questioned again. They were assumed to have maintained the same diet over the 14 year period.

“In addition, data on people’s diets were gathered mainly at the beginning of the study rather than throughout. So researchers wouldn’t know if a person’s diet has shifted since the start.”

Levels of physical activity, stress, sleep, and consumption of alcohol, all things that could impact someone’s health, were also not monitored. 

These studies mean nothing. Their conclusions mean nothing. Every second we waste analyzing a “study” like this or even conducting a “study” like this is a second we could have spent actually helping someone. Every dollar we spend on “studies” like this are dollars wasted that could have went towards providing people with real wholesome and nutritious foods that we know conclusively leads to improved health. I’m not sure I understand how people believe the jury is still out. Processed food, added sugar, refined carbohydrates are the reason that America and the world is getting sicker and sicker. This has been well established for decades. But somehow we keep giving “experts” the leeway to discover the cause and come up with a cure.

Healthline: Meat Substitutes Linked to 42% Higher Depression Risk in Vegetarians

Food Frontiers: Plant-Based Meat Alternatives Intake and Its Association With Health Status Among Vegetarians of the UK Biobank Volunteer Population

Greed and Corruption

Greed

If you’re Kevin Hart or LeBron James, why are you doing Draft Kings commercials? I don’t know what either of them are worth, but I’m sure they’re each in the hundreds of millions of dollars in wealth. So could they really being selling their souls for a few more million? They’re better than that right?

So does that mean that they each believe that they should be using their celebrity status to promote online gambling? One of the most addictive addictions of all the addictions. In states that have legalized online gambling calls to help lines have increased 400 - 700 percent. So it couldn’t be that either right? So what are they doing? This is the question I ask myself every time I see a wealthy celebrity endorsing a substance or activity or food that clearly is contributes to illness and despair.

It’s the question I asked myself when I saw Tom Brady, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, and others, doing a Dunkin’ Donuts commercial during the Super Bowl. Arguably the best football player to ever grace the field and two mega actors endorsing one of the biggest sugar dealers in the world (I don’t know who’s worse, them or Starbucks). Sugar, an addictive substance which has been directly implicated in the increasing rates of obesity and metabolic disease, leading to an increased prevalence of chronic disease.

Or when I’ve watched Reggie Miller endorse Wendy’s during basketball games, giving the impression to young viewers that Wendy’s was part of his path to becoming one of the greatest basketball players in history.

How often do you think Tom frequented Dunkin during his career, or Reggie Wendys?

How much money would it take for any one of these people to not promote something that’s detrimental to society? What would it take for them to not only not promote addictive habits, foods, and substances, but promote the opposite. To take out an ad spot talking about all the things they’ve done to get to the level of success they have achieved. To talk about what kind of food and beverages you should consume if you want to be an athlete. The kinds of habits and discipline it takes to achieve your dreams. To invest their time and money and take out a 30 second ad during the Super Bowl to talk about why these foods, substances, and habits, are killing us?

It’s a mental illness really. This tenacious quest for more. More money, more fame, more status, more houses, more cars. And in the end all we get is more illness.

Everyone says they want better for the people. More for the people. And yet when it comes time to show it, they act in direct contrast to their words. It’s an illness that has been allowed to penetrate through all of society, and promoted by those with the power to end it.

Corruption

At this moment in history, out of all the people I could think of that the US could place a bounty on, including more than one war criminal, President Maduro of Venezuela is not one of them.

The US alleges that for over 20 years Maduro and his government have collaborated with a Colombian rebel group to smuggle cocaine into America, causing devastation throughout the country. If that was true, and the government was actually concerned with pervasive drug, then the Sackler family, owners of Perdue Pharma, should find out what their bounty is soon. I’d expect it to be many multiples of the one place on President Maduro.

I mean, Perdue Pharma is responsible for not one but two drug epidemics in this country. The first was valium which they began selling in the 1960s. Under false claims that overstated its benefits and understated its risks, mainly its addictive properties, valium quickly became a number one selling drug in the country. Then, in the 90’s, following the exact same script, they shot OxyContin to the top of the charts, and while OxyContin sales may have faded since then, the widespread use of opioid drugs has not. Claiming hundreds of thousands of lives, and ruining many more. Communities were ravaged but the effects of OxyContin and subsequent drugs that filled the void left by tighter restrictions placed on prescription opioids.

Not only was there never a bounty out for any one of them, and there never will be, those criminals walk free amongst us. Punished only monetarily, forced to pay fines that are completely disproportionate to the hell they caused and the wealth they gained off of other people’s misery.

So what is the bounty on President Maduro really all about then? The answer is oil and not getting what the US wants. Venezuela is home to the largest oil reserve in the world. And the US has been after control of that oil for nearly a decade. Starting in 2017 the US began placing financial sanctions on Venezuela. In 2019 and 2020 they implemented sanctions on Venezuela’s ability to sell oil internationally. Oil accounts for more than half of its fiscal revenue. So its no surprise that the sanctions crippled Venezuela’s economy, which is the impact the US was hoping for.

Only it didn’t cause the change they were after.

While the goal of the sanctions was to put pressure on Maduro and other leaders who the US deemed as illegitimate, the effects, as are typical of sanctions, was only felt by the people. The crippled economy caused a humanitarian crisis. But rather than topple the government and force change at the top, many Venezuelans decided to flee. Many ended up here in America. Who could blame them?

Struggling to survive and with little hope for the future if they stayed in Venezuela, what other choice did they have?

So after nearly a decade of economic strangulation failed to create the change they wanted, they pivoted to plan B. Directly and openly remove him from office.

This is a move that the US had turned to time and time again throughout its history. They’ve used it all over the world, but perhaps most frequently in South America. When the US doesn’t get what it wants, it forces change at the top. First it tries with economic sanctions, seizure of assets, and embargoes on a country’s main exports. And when that doesn’t work, they try by force.

They did it in 1954 in Guatemala. After the democratically elected president announced a plan to redistribute land acquired illegally by American owned United Fruit Company, the CIA backed and funded a coup to remove him. [read: The Fish That Ate the Whale]

They did it in the 50s and 60s in Cuba. First with an embargo on sugar, it’s main export, then with the failed Bay of Pigs invasion in 1961. While they intended to remove Fidel Castro from power, it only led to a firmer grip on the nation, and a tighter relationship between Cuba and the Soviet Union. [read: Cuba: An American History]

Throughout much of the 1900s the US interfered repeatedly with the coffee trade in Latina America in an attempt to keep prices down. [read: Uncommon Grounds]

And it seems like just for shits in the 2000s the US helped block a raise in Haiti that would have raised the minimum wage to 62 cents per hour.

So no this is not about cocaine. This is about the US government once again putting their hands where they don’t belong, and once again ignoring the real issues at home. This is about oil, but its also about placing blame. About finding a scapegoat for the drug epidemic in this country. And who better than the president of a Latin American country.

Time, attention, and resources that should be used to fix problems at home and implement solutions, are instead sent abroad. As things get worse around the world, it should be of little surprise that they collapse here as well, and perhaps deservedly so. We can’t escape the despair we sow abroad. Eventually it has to come home to roost.

First Meal Post Holidays

I was in Japan and Hong Kong for 16 days at the end of November. We got back two days before Thanksgiving. After that, my family came to visit and celebrate my birthday. Less than two weeks after that we celebrated my fiancés birthday. Twice. Once with her friends. And again with her parents who came to visit. A few days later her brother and his family came to visit and celebrate Christmas. We hosted Christmas Eve and Christmas. From the moment we got home from our trip to Asia, up until a couple of days before Christmas, we were both sick on and off. Congestion. Coughing. Headaches. Body aches. Poor sleep. It was basically a month of feeling like shit and eating like shit.

I tried whenever I could to sneak in a healthy homemade meal or a protein shake, but it was impossible to string more than one or two meals together without being interrupted by something out of the scope of my normal diet. But, I tried anyway, knowing that while I couldn’t control all of my meals, if I could manage some of them, that eventually I’d be able to get back on track, and that those few small healthy meals would help offset the impact of the bad ones. So here I am on the day after Christmas trying to get back on track with a lunch filled with quality proteins, fats, fruits, and vegetables. I won’t really be out of the weeds until all of our family has left after the new years, but I’m not going to lose sight of my goal and lose total focus. Even during holidays, times of celebration, and visits from family, I know I can play a role in limiting the damage. 

Post Christmas Salad:

• Mixed greens

• Broccoli sprouts

• Cherry tomatoes

• Avocado

• Blueberries 

• Red onion

• Tuna with homemade mayo/yogurt dressing

• Hamburger with blue cheese, Swiss cheese, bacon

• Dressing: homemade pesto, olive oil, red wine vinegar, salt

The Behavior of Change

Life is short, you have more time than you think.

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“You have to choose in order to decide”

That’s something that I’ve realized recently which is kind of a mind fuck. Life is short, but you have more time than you need. What does that mean? It means that you don’t have to rush. It means that you can take your time. It means that while we know our time on this earth is finite, it doesn’t necessitate rushing through life to get everything done, lest we miss out on the most important moments.

This idea has been kind of a revelation to me in recent years. For the first 30+ years of my life, and my 20s to early 30s in particular, I’ve viewed time as the ultimate enemy. And with time always seeming to pass by without stopping, I predicated myself on squeezing the most out of each moment, each day, and each week. Going slow, taking a break, was a waste from my perspective. The old saying “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” was something that replayed often in my mind. It didn’t make sense to take my time. Not when we all knew the same thing. That one day we’d run out of time and be dead.

In recent years though I started to realize how this self-imposed pressure to always be busy and to eek out as much work as possible, was actually to my detriment. In my personal life, it meant overlooking important things that people I loved were trying to tell me. From a physical perspective, it meant multiple injuries. And from my professional life, it meant never being able to accomplish any of the big things I dreamed of, because I was too quick to move on before ever finishing.

I also realized how this rush to complete task after task often meant incorrectly completing a task the first time, which caused me to go back and have to redo it. Wasting more time than if I had just taken my time and paid attention on the first attempt.

On the one hand, time is always running out, and it creates this immense amount of pressure to get everything done before it’s too late. But on the other hand, if all we do is rush through life, then we miss out on life itself.

But perhaps the biggest revelation has been as I’ve been looking back over the last 6 years of my life. Over those 6 years I never gave myself a break. I never even contemplated completely checking out, or completely disconnecting. If I did for say a month, 2 months, 3 months, or maybe even a year, I would’ve wasted so much time that I could have been busy working. That I could have been busy accomplishing my goals.

Well, the reality is that I never took any long period of disconnection over the last 6 years. I’ve risen early, and gone to bed the same. I’ve worked hard during the time I was awake, and focused on all the things I wanted to accomplish. I mostly put aside the beautiful and fun parts of life, because I viewed them as a distraction. But as I sit here 6 years later I wonder how much of a difference it really would’ve made. If I had actually taken the extra time. Slowed down. Picked my head up and looked around. How much different would the position I find myself in right now be? My guess, not much. In fact, I’m convinced that I would be even further ahead.

I listened to poet David Whyte recently on the Tim Ferriss show. He said that most people are 4 - 5 years behind their true self. I think over the last 6 that’s where I’ve been. So, this idea of living the slow life to take in more, and catching up to myself, is something I plan on using now and in the future. 

Website Idea

A website dedicated to showing repeating headlines throughout history to show people that were just living the same shit over and over again. I just saw this headline “Meghan Trainor Says Lifting Weights Helped Her Shed Pounds and Boost Energy Levels” and it made me think of it. How many times have I seen this headline before just replaced with someone else’s name? How is this news……. Please someone smack me. 😩  

Parting thought

The next time you start thinking about what you don’t want to do, try thinking about what it is that you do want to do, and do that. But don’t do nothing. 

The Behavior of Change

Perception is reality

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Food is food. Medicine is medicine. Poison is poison. 

Let’s not confuse things. 

It’s not even that food is medicine it’s that all this other shit is fucking poison. Framing food as medicine creates skepticism because people already have a perception of what medicine is, and it’s not food. Let’s let medicine be medicine. Food be food. And poison be poison. And clear up any confusion. 

See, I do think medicine has the power to heal. In specific cases there are medicinal therapies that can help. But mostly, healing doesn’t come from eating real food, it comes from the elimination of poisonous ones. 

It would kind of be like telling a smoker that oxygen heals. So they stop smoking, stop inhaling CO2 and nicotine and all of the other harmful substances in cigarettes, only breathing oxygen, and cite oxygen as the medicine. But it’s not. The poisonous cigarette was the culprit. And when they stopped that their body began to heal. 

Or telling someone who drinks soda that water is medicine. It’s not. If a soda drinker replaces their soda with water, the water has no healing benefits. The elimination of liquid sugar called soda is the reason they begin to heal. 

Food is medicine. Sounds nice. Hippocrates said it a million years ago. Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. Yes, food has vitamins, minerals, macros, that you need, but are they really healing? If that’s all the stuff you already need, then is it healing or maintaining?

Food is medicine feels complicated. It feels like extra work. Medicine not only already has its own perception about what it is, but it also has its own perception about what it means to take medicine. And I don’t think food should be mixed up in that. 

I also think that by emphasizing real food as medicine it lets the food industry off the hook for the toxic substances that it creates. It doesn’t put enough emphasis on the illness that their products create. It shifts the focus away from their poison and onto eating healthy food, and I don’t think that anything will change until the products that they make are banned or severely limited. 

Recently there was that stupid debate going on about Fruit Loops Canada versus Fruit Loops America and the ingredients in each. RFK Jr, someone I actually like, was arguing that we need to make our Fruit Loops like that of Canada’s with less toxic ingredients, but that misses the point. The issue is not what’s in Fruit Loops, the issue is that Fruit Loops exists as a cheap, accessible, and easy choice for consumers. Another inane debate that’s been going on is people trying to push McDonalds to go back to using beef tallow for their french fry oil instead of the seed oil they switched to many years ago. The issue isn’t the oil. The issue is that McDonalds, and garbage like it, are allowed to exists as cheap, accessible, and abundant options for people.

Ban the poison and fix our health.

To avoid the perils of the products manufactured by the ultra processed food industry requires a heightened state of awareness and vigilance. It requires preparedness to head out into the world and not fall victim to these substances. For my finances birthday we rented a few lanes at the local bowling alley. We had a 5:30 - 8 pm slot. Too early to eat dinner, too late to wait to be done. I knew I was going to be hungry, and I knew the only options at the bowling alley would be highly processed and refined poison devoid of anything even resembling food. So before walking out of the door I stuffed a piece of steak and a 1/4 of an avocado into my mouth. I figured at the very least it would take the edge off, and hopefully prevent me from indulging in bowling alley food until I got home. 

I ended up eating one slice of bowling alley pizza. Not terrible, and I did enjoy it, but I was able to avoid the french fries, chicken fingers, and three varieties of birthday cakes that her friends brought. But how many people have the time, awareness, or dedication to do that? My senses are not many, and understandably so. 

One other lady that joined us to bowl also didn’t indulge in any food. She’s training to do some mountaineering this winter and looking to lose a few pounds. 

But we were in the minority, and when cheap toxic food is the only option, most people are going to have a hard time turning it down. 

Timing the market

To understand why you can’t time the market, take the simple case of United Healthgroup. Previously trading at an all time high of $630 per share, is now (at the time of this writing) down to $489 in the weeks following the murder of their CEO, Brian Thompson. Down over 20% in a few short weeks. Unpredictable and therefore impossible to time. That of course is an extreme example, but I think the extreme examples are the ones that provide the most clarity because it’s hard to dispute the facts. COVID, when the market dropped 40% in a matter of days, is another extreme but important example. You can’t time the market.

Peloton growing too fast and being unable to keep up with demand, followed by the death of a child using the treadmill, coupled with the death of an actor using a peloton on a TV show, crashing the stock to an all time low is another clear cut example. None of that could be predicted. Peloton’s stock has never recovered.

Over the last few years, with this lesson in mind, I’ve been selling off my individual holdings, and reinvesting them slowly into ETFs. The major one in my portfolio being VTI. While an ETF like VTI will swing with the market, the swings will be far less volatile than say what happened with UNH. After COVID a number of my stocks went from all time highs, to all time lows, and after seeing my money dry up, I realized I had learned my lesson and that I needed to do what I can to prevent that from happening again in the future.

Some of the individual stocks I got out of, like Uber and Netflix, went on to rebound to new highs, and in theory I lost out on that upside. But gains in the stock market are only made when you sell. Otherwise they are just unrealized. And it’s very easy to get enamored with your “unrealized” gains and have them slip out from under you without you even noticing. Separating your emotional buy-in for a stock is an important part of the game. Not getting too greedy is just as important.

If you want to win the market, then you need to believe in long term gains. Sticking it out for the long term and putting your money into ETFs that provide the least amount of volatility and the most amount of stability. Another small bonus is the dividend that comes with most (if not all) ETFs. Use those dividends to reinvest in the security and I think you’ll have a winning strategy you can’t go wrong with.

Proud of myself

I’m proud of myself. And not because of doing the hard things or working hard. Working hard and doing the hard thing has always come naturally to me. As naturally as working hard can. I’m sure there’s a trauma reason behind it. 

But no, I’m proud of myself for doing the small things, taking my time, and not pushing myself too hard. 

I went skiing the other day and my boot was killing me. Normally I would’ve just kept going, not wanting to waste time stopping. Not wanting to be a bitch having to stop to fix my boot. It’s skiing, isn’t your boot supposed to hurt? But instead, I stopped. Took my boots off and relaxed enough to fix my boot, relieve the pain, and even write myself this note. 

Even going skiing was an accomplishment for me. My in laws were coming in that same day and I still had a lot of things I wanted to before they got in. The house needed to be cleaned. There were a couple of pieces of furniture I wanted to pick up. Some minor groceries I wanted to get for them. In a past life I would’ve put my desire to go skiing and be outside for a few hours aside, and decided that it was more important to get every little last thing done. And then for the next few days I would’ve suffered as I had ignored that calling to get outside. Which would’ve been a far worse result than if I didn’t get everything done on time at the house. 

But this time I decided to take a chance. To go skiing and see what happens. See if I can get everything done anyway. See if in the long run the time outside, listening to my inner voice, outweighed rushing to get everything done and stressing myself out. Like I said, in so many words, I’ve always been good at stressing myself out and pushing through. Relaxing and taking time for me has never been a skill of mine. 

But not this time. I think I’ve started to feel a shift. Figuring out that balance is more important than nonstop work.

Follow up note… it worked. I got everything done, and had an awesome day on the mountain. 

Sleep

Sleep is the most important thing. If you don’t get good sleep, nothing else will matter. You can go a few nights with bad sleep and get by, but those days will eventually catch up, and you won’t make much progress during that time. In fact you’ll likely regress.

That’s why everything you do should be with sleep as the priority. What foods should I eat and what foods should I avoid? What drinks should I have and what drinks should I avoid? Should I back off my exercise or push hard? What should my technology hygiene look like? What should I engage with and what should I avoid? How’s stress impacting my sleep and how can I improve it?

Because the thing is, that while some of this will require short term sacrifices, the benefits of quality sleep will very quickly begin to outweigh them. Your body will begin to heal and transform. Your mind will be clear. Your relationships will improve. It will be easier to make better food choices. It will be easier to be active. Nothing in life escapes the impact of poor sleep. And everything improves with good sleep. 

Health

I want to be healthy so that I can participate fully in life. Health as a stand alone has never been the focus for me. Health has always been a means to an end. To be able to wake up and say yes to any invitation that comes my way. Yes I want to take that trip. Yes I want to climb that mountain. Yes, let’s go to the beach. Yes, yes, yes.

I want to wake up and feel good. And to me that’s health. And it’s not possible without health. I fear how many people don’t wake up feeling that way. How many people have felt poor for so long that they no longer know how poor they feel. Often worse. It upsets me. 

Death Penalty

Something just dawned on me that should’ve seemed obvious before. While reading Judgment at Tokyo, I read about how the lead judge of the trial agonized over sentencing any of the accused war criminals to the death penalty. He had never sent anyone to death before. 

Which made me realize, and ask myself the question: if a judge sentences someone to death, doesn’t that make them a murderer? Even if the accused is convicted of heinous crimes, doesn’t that make the judge equally as heinous?

I know the idea is to serve justice and protect society, but it’s kind of like the abortion question. An abortion is killing a baby. You might agree with the procedure or not, but at the end of it, a life has ended. Same goes for the accused. 

You may or may not agree with it, but at the end of the day, when someone is executed for a crime, the people involved have taken a life. 

The Behavior of Change

Thoughts and download from the week.

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At a minimum, there’s two things you can learn from other people. What to do and what not to do.

Sports

I like watching endurance sports like the UFC (MMA), cycling, or even motorcycle racing like MotoGP. To me these are the hardest sports because they require the athlete to remain focused on their technique over long periods of time, well after fatigue and pain have set in. And I think that dynamic adds a different level to the athlete and the sport that you don’t get from other sports. 

I also like watching them because it makes you realize what the human body is capable of. When two UFC fighters go five hard rounds all bloodied and battered, it makes you realize just how far you really can push it. 

When cyclists race for the finish line on day 21 of the Tour de France, or when a MotoGP rider all of a sudden finds a new best lap time as the races comes to the end, you really understand what it means to push it. 

And I try to use that in my normal life to do shit I don’t want to do. Whether that’s working out or sitting down to write, I ask myself what one of those guys would do if they were me. And of course it always makes me do it.

I also love these sports because they are international. You get to see the best of the best from around the world, representing their country, their history, and their culture. That also brings a different element to the sport. 

And I guess lastly, it’s that they’re individual sports, supported by a dedicated team of people, which allows you to get to know the athlete on a far more intimate level. And for me, it’s a lot easier to get behind an individual than it is a team. 

We hold the answers that we seek. 

You can have a bad idea without all of your ideas being bad. I think that’s the trap. Believing that because you made a mistake you’re just going to keep making mistakes, so, instead of trusting your gut, you start to distrust it. And, the result is an inability to make progress. Because you get stuck questioning everything your gut is telling you to do. 

Or, you’re just too afraid. You’re too scared and can’t see how an action plays out on the other side, and you second guess yourself. You delay gratifying that urge, you get stuck in delay.

That was one of the most profound things I’d heard in a long time. I had just begun toying with the idea that being able to follow my intuition would be the key to my success. The key to living a happy and fruitful life. But I did not have anything to base it on other than my own thoughts and experiences. 

I found, simply enough, that on days when I was able to lead with my gut, that my days were happier, they were more care free, and they went smoothly. It was a feeling for which I had no concrete examples, I just knew I felt better. 

Jen and I went out to dinner one night with friends. There business partner who happened to be visiting from Italy joined us. Over dinner Jen and I got to know him, and we learned what a successful and intelligent man he was. 

At one point in the evening we were all talking when he leaned in and said, “I’ve found that the most successful people I know, don’t spend a lot of time in delay. If they want a boat, they buy a boat. If they want to paint their house green, they paint their house green.”

It was so profound to me because in that moment I found context in what I had been feeling and unable to describe. And it was coming out of the mouth of someone who, in a short amount of time, I had gained a lot of respect for. 

Delay is the word that I grapple with. Not wanting to delay, but not wanting to do something stupid. Or do something I’ll later regret. But I’ve found that the only way to ever really know is to do it. And hope for the best. 

On the evening before Jen and I’s first trip together, she asked me what I was writing in my journal. I said, jokingly, “I hope it goes well.” We both laughed hard, and that’s been an inside joke for us ever since. But it’s also kind of been a motto we live by, or at least try to live by. 

“I hope it goes well” kind of sums up the only expectation you can set. Because it can not go well, and sometimes it doesn’t, but, with the right intentions, most of the time it does. 

Which comes back to the initial thought. You can make mistakes without everything you do becoming a mistake. Even if you’ve made a few mistakes. I think there’s always a path waiting if you’re willing to silence the noise around you and really tune into your gut. 

You have to clean up the environment around you.  You have to be aware of what you’re consuming. And you have to filter through the distractions, and eliminate the ones that don’t serve your purpose.

Following our intuition for life is the thing that I think we’re missing the most, and we’re more scared than ever to do it. Mainly, I think, because our environment is so littered with garbage at every turn, that we’re just not able to tune in to ourselves. 

Judging

The thing I judge people the most harshly about is not doing the things they want. And it’s probably because that’s when I’m the harshest critic of myself. When I think about something I want to do and then don’t follow through on it. Or find myself a year later, two years later, three years later, still talking about that thing and never having done it. That is for sure the thing that pisses me off the most, and it’s the thing that can keep me trapped in my head the most.

Because when I’m not acting on something I want, or something I want to do or try, that’s when I feel the most stuck. So, when I see it or hear it from other people, it causes the biggest reaction from me. Because I don’t want them to sit with that stuck feeling, the way I have so many times.

I know how awful that stuck feeling is, and I also know how liberating it is, and euphoric even, when you finally do the thing you’ve been thinking about and wanting to do. In my experience, it doesn’t always mean going full fledged and making it happen right away even. Sometimes just exploring the idea more fully, and allowing it to spread its wings, going from a thought to a possibility, can be enough. 

There’s been times when there’s something I want to do that’s eating away at me, and then when I go and actually explore it, I realize I didn’t want it in the first place. But I needed to do the work so I could clear my mind. 

I just feel like too many people with the means to change their life never do. And they sit stuck with what ifs in their mind that were never given the chance to become possibilities. And I think a life spent that way is the ultimate waste, and the saddest. 

Stop saying this is the best time to be alive.

Who’s it the best time for? Not the people in Gaza. Not the people in Syria. Not the people in Ukraine. Not the people in North Korea. Not the people in Venezuela. Not the people in much of Africa. Not the nearly 5 million innocent people who have been killed either by direct or indirect warfare in the middle east since 9/11. Not the hundred of thousands of homeless and drug addicted people living in the richest country in the world. Not the 50+ million people who don’t have enough nutritious food to be healthy, stress free, and prosperous. And not the many more who suffer on the fringe both here in America and around the world, who’s storied we don’t even know about because they aren’t dire enough to make the news.

So who is it the best time to be alive for? The people that say it. The people that have the privilege of believing that. 

Perhaps it is the best time for information. The best time for resources. The best time for medicine. The best time for innovation. But despite that, there remains a significant portion of the population, the overwhelmingly majority in fact, who’s not the best time to be alive.

So again, please stop saying it is the best time to be alive because there are billions of people around the world who would argue against that, and be right. 

In fact I would argue that for anyone who’s conscious, awake, aware, and paying attention, that it is actually the worst time to be alive. To be able to see so clearly the possibilities and watch how they are undermined and squandered at every turn by greedy, maniacal, and heartless people with zero morals, ethics, or integrity.

Yes, for those of us paying attention, there has never been a worse time to be alive.

Two random thoughts

If you start with the assumption that everyone is actually good, then you can start to try and figure out where they went wrong that made them not so. But if you start with the assumption that everyone is bad, then you automatically dismiss them, and there’s nothing to try and figure out. 

News is actually just gossip. They’re just telling you what someone did, or what some country did, or what some group did, the same way a friend, colleague, or family member might. They’re not telling you why or even interested in knowing why, the same way a friend, colleague, or family member wouldn’t. They’re only interested in spreading the gossip and hijacking your attention and your emotions.

Big Time Cheat Meal (for me anyways)

Left over pad Thai noodles (this is the third meal I’ve gotten out of one order, and each time I’ve eaten more than I’ve wanted to. It could’ve easily been 4 or 5 meals, but it’s hard not to over indulge pad Thai noodles, which is the reason I typically just stay away).

180 grams of slow cooked whole chicken to make sure I fill out, because noodles don’t fill me.

Two handfuls of broccoli, and 1 handful of raw red cabbage, to make sure that I wash all this down with adequate amounts of fiber.

A Messy Salad

Avocado, raw red onion, raw red cabbage, tomato, blue cheese stuffed olives (3), pickle (1), strawberries (3), rosemary honey cooker beets (1/2), cucumber, spinach.

Two cans of wild, sustainable sardines (36 total gram of protein).

Dressed with dijon mustard, medium spiced locally made salsa, drizzle olive oil, blackberry balsamic vinegar, bourbon balsamic vinegar (both vinegars locally made), and 3 generous pinches of salt

Summer Salad

Sorry it’s posting in the winter.

I went for a challenging trail run this morning. This was the first of many meals I’d eat throughout the day.

In reality, this was the fourth thing I consumed. One, a piece of dark chocolate before my run. Two, an RX bar, dark chocolate chip. Three, a Colorado Palisades peach 🍑 that dripped all over me on the car ride home.

But, this salad:

Arugula, red Russian kale, and radish from our garden

Locally grown tomato, cucumber, carrot, red cabbage, red onion, and celery

Locally raised pastured chicken

Strawberries and almonds

I also used some blackberry and bourbon balsamic vinegar bottled here locally by a chef

Tasty, tasty dish, dressed with generous amounts of salt, olive oil, balsamic glaze, mustard, and locally bottle salsa

Yum yum yum

Sundays are for BBQing

This past Sunday we did the BBQ thing. Red peppers and zucchini tossed in olive oil and salt and charred on the grill. Grilled white onion. And homemade beef burgers, mixed with spices and blue cheese. Almost everything on our dishes was local (except for the cheese and sauces). The sourdough bread we used as buns is from a local bakery an hour or so from our house.

Everything tastes better when it comes from somewhere close and is made in small batches. Less processing, less ingredients, more flavor, more nutrients.

I love a good burger BBQ day.

The Big Salad

Mixed greens

Black rice

Roasted chickpeas

Avocado

Raw carrot

Celery

Tomato

Olives

Raw red onion

Sardines (1 can)

Olive juice

Olive oil

Lunch: Salmon and a side salad

Wild sockeye salmon (bought frozen and thawed), pan fried for 3 minutes per side on medium heat. Simple seasoning, olive oil and salt

Side salad: mixed greens, apple, olives, grated Parmesan, roasted romanesco, oil, vinegar, and salt