When Everything is Important, Nothing is Important

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My Biggest Pet Peeve

My biggest pet peeve, especially as it relates to health in this country and around the world is that everyone is working on their own thing, which isn’t necessarily the right thing. My pet peeve was triggered the other day after I read an email for a new documentary called Plastic People. The movie chronicles the rising presence of microplastics in our environment, in our bodies, and its impact on our health as a result.

This is good work. Important work. I agree that our obsession with plastic is definitely playing a role in our deteriorating health. I try to limit the use of plastics in my life all of the time. I just don’t think it’s the most important work if we’re really trying to solve our health problems. 

I don’t know how much time, money, human capital, and just overall resources were used in doing the research for this movie, analyzing the research, publishing it, and pulling a movie together, but all I can think about is that every resource used here, could’ve been used to tackle the real issue. Food.

The fact that most people don’t have access to the food they need to be healthy. Most people don’t have access to enough food at all. The fact that the majority of food is grown in lifeless soil. That most food is doused in chemicals like herbicides, pesticides, and fungicides that kill life all around it. The fact that most animals are raised in inhumane and unsanitary conditions, and are fed the same toxic food we grow for ourselves. That most livestock are injected with hormones and given antibiotics when neither one is needed.

And, most importantly, the fact that all of that food described above is then processed in factories by large corporations who add more chemicals, sugar, and toxic ingredients to it. And that this same highly processed toxic food is convenient and cheap to buy. 

The average American’s diet now consists of at least 70 percent processed food. At least 70 percent of Americans are overweight or obese. At least 50 million Americans are facing food insecurity. Millions more face nutrition insecurity, a term that is not even spoken about. That is the biggest issue we face.

The fact that all of that food is wrapped in plastic, served on plastic, eaten with plastic utensils, doesn’t help. But it is not, in my opinion, our biggest problem. In fact, I would argue, that if we could change our food system, that if we could change people’s behaviors around food, that it would do more to limit the amount of plastic in our environment than anything else we could do.

If more people shopped for and cooked whole foods only, instead of buying packaged foods and pre-made meals. If more people cooked instead of ordering take out or going to the drive in. If less people drank sugar filled coffees, juices, and smoothies. If all of those things were to happen, if we could change the food system and change peoples habits, we could greatly reduce the amount of plastic on this planet.

And that’s why this is my biggest pet peeve. Because when I see a documentary like this one, or I hear a charity asking for money for research to study cancer, heart disease, Alzheimers, or any other chronic disease, or a research study like this one I wrote about, I automatically think, “what would happen if instead of spreading ourselves and our resources thin across all of these ‘issues,’ we aggregated them around the main issue. Food and the food system.”

How much better off would we be?

I’m sure this perspective will garner push back from many. But I think if you truly understand the impact the way we grow food has on the planet, and the way the food we eat impacts our health, you too would realize that there is no greater issue we face than this one. 

Everyone Already Knows the Answers

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I started chatting with a guy on the chair lift the other day. He asked me if I took off from work to be there. It was mid-day on a Friday. I told him I work from home, so I didn’t have to. I just skipped out for a few hours. When he asked me what I did for work, I told him I run a blog.

“That pays the bills?”

“No,” I laughed, “but hopefully one day it will.”

He asked me what the site was about, so I explained the focus on health and self improvement, which prompted the question, “Are you a psychologist, doctor, nutritionist? What qualifications do you have to give out this advice?”

“No credentials,” I said, “just a life long devotion to the cause, and 10 years working in the healthcare system, where I learned everything we do wrong.”

“Right, treat the symptom, not the cause. My doctor has me on a statin for high cholesterol, and high-blood pressure medication. He’s been telling me for 10 years I’m pre-diabetic, and every time I go back to him he says the same thing. But I keep telling him, this is my new baseline.”

“It might be,” I said, “but the problem is if you do end up with diabetes…” He cut me off.

“I’m not going to get diabetes. I know what my problem is. It’s the three beers I drink before bed. It’s the three brownies and Cheez-its I had for dinner last night. It’s not every night, it’s not all the time, and I’ve really cut back, but I know if I cut it all out, I’d definitely get rid of this belly.”

“But I’m happy,” he continued, “I’m having fun.”

Everyone knows but no one wants to do it. It’s this idea that prompted me to write this piece the other day talking about how the formula is always the same. It’s always the same, beer, brownies, and Cheez-its are bad, and everyone already knows it. But very few people act on it. Not until it’s too late.

The number one reason I hear and read about that makes people finally focus on their health is a health scare. Number one reason. I’d say the number two reason is for their children. I don’t know if there’s a third. Very few people wake up one day and just decide to do it for themselves, which is a shame.

But the problem as I see it is that drinking beers, eating brownies, and snacking on Cheez-its might sound fun, and it might make you happy when you’re doing it, but I have a hard time believing that it’s more fun and creates more happiness than doing the opposite. That it creates more smiles in the longer run compared to being healthy.

I can only speak from personal experience. I’ve been devoted to my health for more than half of my life. And during that time I’ve drank, I’ve done drugs, I’ve stayed up late, I’ve eaten shitty foods enough to know what it all feels like. But I’ve spent many more hours not drinking or doing drugs. Getting a full night’s sleep. I’ve eaten many more meals full of whole foods rich in vitamins, fiber, and other nutrients. And hands down, 10 out of 10 times, the latter is what has made me happy and have fun. And the more dialed in I’ve become over the years, the greater the returns on happiness have been.

If you’re just waiting until you have a health scare, until you finally cross that threshold from pre-diabetes to full blown diabetes, then you are wasting time feeling below optimal. You’re not feeling as good as you could be feeling, which might not seem possible to you, but I promise you it is. If you are allowing alcohol, added sugars, and highly processed foods to occupy a full time seat in your life, then you are allowing those substances to reduce your vibration. You are letting them keep you down.

Life is short, and you only get one. Don’t wait until you have a health scare or until having kids wakes you up. Start making the change now. Every day is a good day to try.

The Behavior of Change

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Pulling the trigger is the hardest thing we do

I’ve been talking to two family members for over a year about making investments in the stock market. In that time the market has returned over 20%. But neither one of them have benefited from the market’s performance, because neither one of them have pulled the trigger and invested.

Each of them has their reasons and excuses. One of them was waiting for the presidential administration to change. He had no faith in the outgoing administration, and is all in on the new one. The other one wanted something where he could make a HUGE return. The 8% average return the market yields wasn’t enough. So neither one of them has gotten involved, and neither one of them has grown their money as a result.

I should say, to be fair, that they each have their money invested, its just that their in products that they either don’t want to be in, or that aren’t getting them the returns they want. Which is the reason they’ve been asking my opinion on the market.

I think there are a number of reasons why we hesitate to pull the trigger on something we intuitively want. I think part of the hesitation is the illusion or distraction created by having too many “choices” (if you listen to Wendell Berry he says its the illusion of choice that is our biggest hindrance in life). Why should I invest there when I could invest here, or in that new thing everyone is talking about? What’s that thing everyone is getting rich off of? I think part of it is fear of the unknown. Of doing something you’ve never done before. Something you have little experience with. What if the market goes down? What will I do? And I think part of it is FOMO (fear of missing out). FOMO of bigger returns, better investments, doing something else with my money!

Whatever the reason the result is always the same. Inaction caused by indecision. Inaction that causes missing out on material gains, and mental distress left by the weight of your indecision.

Two years ago when Jen (my fiancé) and I were leaving Los Angeles I pulled a lot of money out of the market. We didn’t know where we would end up living, or what we would do, and there was the potential of buying a house when we did land somewhere. And for all of those reasons I wanted to have a lot of cash on hand. I didn’t want to be in a position where I was selling stock during a market sell off in order to pay our bills or to buy a house. I wanted to take my gains while they were there. I had played the waiting game before, and lost.

I also was very focused, and still am, on consolidating my portfolio. Trying to get the number of positions I held from 20 down to 10 or less. So, after going back and forth, reviewing my portfolio non-stop, I ultimately pulled the trigger and sold off a handful of stocks. I got my cash, and consolidated my portfolio. Progress on two fronts.

Two of the stocks I sold were Netflix and Uber. Both stocks had been on a bumpy ride up until that point. Hitting all time highs followed by huge sell offs. They were too volatile, and their volatility was causing me undo stress. I could no longer look at them and wish them to return to their highs. It was more important to dump them, free my mind, and get the cash. So, that’s what I did.

When I sold Netflix it was trading at $365. It now trades close to $1,000. When I sold Uber it was trading in the $40s. It recently hit an all time high of $87.

From a pure dollar perspective this was a terribly bad move, but the problem with assessing it that was is that it gives no value to the mental aspect of it. That yes, in hind-sight, I could’ve kept both, only sold a handful of shares. But had I done that I would’ve still been putting energy into watching them pop and then retreat. Trying to will them to go up, and stay there. It also would’ve been two more stocks in my portfolio, distracting me from my goal of consolidating. Two more stocks to watch, spreading my attention thin. And while I can’t quantify the value of giving myself the mental room to breath, in my experience it’s benefits far outweighs any dollar amount.

Because I believe that when you get stuck at a decision point, and you let it linger for too long, it starts to consume you, and it prevents you from making progress everywhere else in your life. I belie that when you have a desire to do something, or a need to do something, that’s your intuition calling to you. That’s your gut telling you what to do, and if you ignore it, it has ripple effects throughout the rest of your life. When this happens the call of your intuition starts to get drowned out, and quieter, and dull, until you can longer hear it or recognize it. And the more you ignore it, the worse it gets, until you’re paralyzed with indecision, and it starts to feel like nothing can go your way. And I think that following our intuition, that internal calling we all have, is what leads us on our path to the life we were meant to live.

Now the interesting and amazing part is that at any time you can get that voice back. You can reignite that calling and get back on your path by finally pulling the trigger. Releasing yourself and your mind from that roadblock, and allowing that voice back in to help determine what it is you need to do next.

The Behavior of Change

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Be careful of thinking its just the way you are

When I was working I used to wake up at 5 am so that I could be at the gym by 5:30 am when they opened. I wanted to get my workout in, shower, and be sitting at my desk no later than 8 am with my breakfast. I prided myself on being one of the first ones in the office. When I started training for my first Ironman I woke up at 4 am to meet my team for training.

After following this routine for 10 years I had convinced myself that I was someone that needed to work out first thing. And in some ways I did. Because when I didn’t, my mood suffered and my days were chaotic. Schizophrenic even. My mind couldn’t focus. I had become so programmed to that routine, and believed so deeply that I needed to workout that early.

In 2018 I left my job, and despite not having a job to get to, a desk to fill, I continued waking up at 5 am - 6 am just to workout. It’s been six years since I’ve held a formal 9 - 5 office job, but it’s only been recently that I’ve been working on de-programming myself. For a couple of years I’ve realized that I’d prefer to sleep in and spend my mornings writing and reading with a cup of coffee. And that I feel so much better when I workout in the afternoon. But I was so resistant to changing because I feared that if I did, my days would be ruined. 

I’m just someone that needs to start my day with a workout. I can’t miss it. And that belief kept me from doing what actually wanted to do. It kept me from listening to my intuition telling me “that’s not us.”

That’s just one example, but I havre many more throughout my life, as I’m sure you do.

I never believed I was the type of person to get married, until I met my girlfriend, who’s now my fiancé.

I never enjoyed the taste, texture, smell, or look of mushrooms, until I listened to a 3 hour podcast with mycology expert Paul Stamets, and I learned all about the health benefits of eating mushrooms.

There’s so many beliefs we tell ourselves that never allow us to get better. I can’t control my temper, I’m just an angry person. I can’t be happy, I’m just a depressed person. I can’t invest my money, I’m just not analytical. 

My grandmother used to always say “I’m just a scary person.” Her way of saying she was afraid of everything. Afraid of strangers. Afraid of being alone. Afraid that something would happen to her kids, her grandkids, her husband. When she was a child her mother passed away, and she was left with her father and step brother. I never met her father, but by all accounts he was a miserably and shitty fucking person who treated my grandmother like shit. And her brother, who suffered from seizures, was no better. Living in a house with these two was definitely scary. So it is no wonder why my grandmother was a “scary person.” She was raised to be.

I’m sure there is something in your life, a situation where you realized that the way you thought you were wasn’t true. Something changed that caused you to realize it. Maybe something happened at work. Or with your parents. Or while reading a book. Or on a trip to a new place. Maybe a podcast on mushrooms like me. It’s happened to all of us. Understand that that is true of almost everything you believe about yourself. That nothing about your behavior or actions is set in stone. That your habits and routines, your likes and silks, are all subject to change, and you can change them. 

My good buddy has the best saying. He’s a guy who’s competed in a handful of full distance triathlons (Ironmans). He and I cycled thousands of miles together all over California. Whenever someone says “I can’t do _____,” he says, “not with that attitude you can’t.” Believe you can and you will.

What do you believe about yourself that might not be true? What new information would make you believe change is possible? 

The Behavior of Change

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Not eating before bed

Not eating before bed remains the hardest thing for me to do. I just love a little go bed go night night treat (that’s what they’re called in my house). But eating before bed, no matter what it is, has the biggest impact on how I sleep, how I feel when I wake up, and whether or not I’m able to to achieve my physical goals. Mainly, maintaining a certain weight, and keeping that small pocket of fat at the bottom of my belly at bay.

So it’s a real conundrum and a real battle for me. I know that if I can string a few nights together without having that bedtime snack, that I’m going to see and feel the results I want. But, I also know how much I enjoy those after dinner treats.

I have a few things I try to do to avoid snacking at night. First, I try to make sure I get in all the calories and macros I need throughout the day. This helps to limit my cravings at night. It also helps limit my ability to rationalize having a snack. I’m very good at convincing myself I need more food because I didn’t get enough calories, or protein, or fats. In particular after a hard training day. Along these same lines I try to make sure I have a balanced and substantial dinner that isn’t going to leave me craving more in a couple of hours. I’d rather overdo dinner a little bit, than leave myself hungry for food before bed.

Also, I look for signs that I’m just trying to eat. There are two signs that I always notice in myself. First, whenever I go to the kitchen looking for food but nothing appeals to me, I know I’m not actually hungry and I’m just looking to eat. Because when I am actually hungry it’s only a matter of moments that I’m putting together a plate with everything I want. Second is when I start telling myself I don’t care. The conversation in my head usually goes something like, “you don’t want to eat that, it’s going to negatively impact your sleep and your goals.” To which the glutton in me responds with, “I don’t care.” Well I do care, so I know that’s not the voice of reason, that’s the voice of someone bored looking for a treat.

But if I’m really needing something, I might mix some protein powder (usually casein) in water. Soy milk if I’m really getting crazy. Also, I’ve recently been on a milk kick. An 8 oz glass of whole milk can usually do the trick (I’ve been loving this A2 milk that supposed to be easier on digestion). Milk also works if I wake up in the middle of the night craving something. A teaspoon of CALM in 8 oz of water is another good trick. Something about the molecular make up of magnesium tends to settle med down.

But the hardest nights are the ones when my fiancé goes for a snack. On those nights it’s almost impossible not to join her in her indulgence. Luckily, she doesn’t do it often, so when she does I usually just cave and indulge with her. Just another reason why it’s important to be on the same page as your partner.

I love food. I love eating. I love eating all throughout the day. But at some point I have to put a lid on it, and I find that shutting it down a few hours before bed offers me the best results.

The Behavior of Change

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The formula is not that easy and never the same

I used to think that everyone was impacted the same way by everything. The first time I realized that wasn’t true was when a few friends and I tripped on mushroom. I was expecting for all of us to have essentially the same trip. We didn’t. It was my first time taking a heavy dose of mushrooms, and it’s safe to say I had the biggest reaction to them. I’ll spare you all the details except to say that I spent the 6 hours on the floor, under a blanket, going between fits of crying, laughing, and asking the group if I should drink water. It was something.

One of my friends spent his trip walking around draped in a shaggy blanket, laughing at everything and everyone. My other friend played DJ and sat in a chair, eyes closed, listening to the music. My last friend kind of did a combination of everything, feeding off whichever one of us he was interacting with. The one thing they did have in common, was that they kept a close eye on me.

Now, we did all take different size doses. We also are four guys with very different builds. One guy who took as much as me, threw up about an hour into it. A couple people had done full trips before. A couple of us had not. But despite that, despite those differences, I was still shocked by how different our experiences were.

I was also shocked by what we each got out of it in the days and weeks that followed. I had a number of different break throughs during my trip. Some I think were pretty common, like fully understanding the connectedness of the universe and mankind. While others were deeply personal, like a new perspective on strained relationships in my life and the decision to confront them. 

But I never heard of any of the other guys having any new revelations about life, or the world. Or anything they planned on doing differently based on what they saw or felt during their experience. No new insights about relationships, work, goals or ambitions. Maybe they had them but never shared them with me. Or maybe because I was such a mess during my trip that they couldn’t get the full experience I had. Or maybe the different doses and body types played a bigger role than I realize. Regardless, I had expected we’d all come away with something similar to share.

A friend who I no longer speak to, recommended reading Boyd Varty’s The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life a few years ago. We were both at major transition points in our life, and trying to find our path. He assured me that this book would change my life. He was right. I listened to the audio version that first time, and I enjoyed it so much that I went out and bought a physical copy and have since read it three more times. It is the book I gift the most to people because of the impact its had on me. If you haven’t read it, and you are seeking your path, then I highly recommend it.

But it doesn’t appear that its had the same impact on my old friend. Although we no longer speak, we still have mutual friends, and they, unsolicited, update me from time to time on what’s he’s doing. In short, he seems to be doing the same stuff he was doing 4 years ago when he recommended that book.

So what is it about a drug, a book, a movie, a podcast, a news story, or an experience, that can have such a great impact on one person, while seemingly having no impact on the other?

A few years ago a friend of mine and I went to Patagonia for a 7-day trek around Torres del Paine National Park. It was only the third time I had ever been on a hike before in my life (I was 30 by this point). And it was the first time I had ever camped or backpacked. At the time both my buddy and I had just left long tenures at our respective jobs, and were unsure of what we would do in the future. That trip completely changed the trajectory of my life. It motivated me to leave New York, the only place I had ever lived, and it shifted my focus to exploring the outdoors. It also convinced me that there was more to life than a job. Six years later and I haven’t returned to New York, or work, while my buddy has. 

So what is it? I think it’s about intention. What do you intend to get out of this experience or do with your newfound knowledge? I think that you need to have an intention going into it in order to get anything out of it. I think that every body is at different points of their journey. Some people might not even have begun theirs. It doesn’t matter how old you are or where you came from. Your journey and where you are on it, is unique to you. And I think the number and types of experiences you’ve had prior tot his new one, whether it’s tripping on mushrooms, reading a powerful and influential book, or taking a trip that’s outside of your comfort zone, plays a role.

That’s why you can’t treat every person the same and expect the same outcome. That’s why you need to be kind and figure out where people are on their journey and meet them there. You need to understand where they’ve been and where they want to go if you want to help them. It’s very easy to just repeatedly bludgeon someone over the head with what’s worked for you, and wonder what’s wrong with them when you don’t get the result you’re looking for. But that’s why I’m saying no formula is the same and it’s not that easy. We’re all unique and we will all respond in kind.