A Pep Talk on Confidence

A lot of what’s stopping you from accomplishing what you want is confidence. When I think about the reason I need to get a job and start making money, it’s a fear that I’ll run out of money. Even though, luckily, barring a disaster, that day is a long way off.

What I really fear is, that if/when I run out of money, I won’t be able to make any more. Despite all of the things that I’ve accomplished in the past 6 years, none of them made me any money. So, in my mind, I’m afraid I won’t be able to. I lack confidence that I’ll be able to do it, and therefore, I’m afraid. And my fear pushes me to look for money. Despite not wanting or needing any right now.

So, there’s two possible truths. Either, I don’t know how to make money. Or, I haven’t been trying to. All the things I’ve accomplished and I continue to accomplish, are not being driven by money. They were all driven by an interest in exploring, and a passion to push myself.

So, which one is it? Can I turn my interests and passion into a money making endeavor when I need to? Can I focus my energy on earning a living if I need to?

That’s where confidence comes in.

I have to be confident that if I just keep following my interests and passions, that one day when I need it, the money will flow. That I have the talent and ambition to make that happen. Otherwise, what’s the point? What am I doing? What have I been doing for the past five years? Why have interests and passions if I’m not going to pursue them? Put them at the center of my life, and make money doing them.

So, when my doubt start to creep in, I repeat a shortened version of this to myself, and nine times out of ten, it breaks down the negative thought, and stopping it from ever entering my brain.

Go sell crazy somewhere else, were all stocked up here.

Spoken & Unspoken Lessons in My Rehab

You know the most important thing in my rehab journey has been something that my therapist said to me, rather than something he did to me or for me. On one of my very first visits he told me, “I don’t want you to be a repeat customer. I don’t want you coming back to me in 6 months, a year. You have to do the work in between sessions to get better.”

It was a pretty obvious thing to understand once he said it, but shamefully not something that I really thought about before that.

Even after my injury I continued to exercise regularly, and I figured that at some point I would be able to work through the injury, fix it, and get rid of the pain. So, that’s what I did. But, it didn’t work.

During that time I went to a handful of different doctors, physical therapists, chiropractors, and more, looking for the answer. Each in their own way pushed me along on my journey. Some were really good and guided me towards thing I should be doing. Other were not so good and I took their advice as things to avoid.

But throughout all of those visits, I really thought one of them was going to have the magic bullet. That at the first, second, or third visit they’d be able to pop something back in place, release a tense muscle, or do something else that was going to get me back to 100 percent in an instant.

In a way it’s made me understand how people look for the magic pill in fitness. In their health. When it comes to exercise and diet. There just feels like there has to be something that will make everything the way I want it. Now.

But injuries and fitness have that in common. The only thing that works in the long term is consistency. And that’s what my therapist highlighted for me, and that’s what I’ve been practicing ever since. And while I’m still not 100 percent, I am firmly in grasp of healing.

Another thing my therapist gave me was permission. Permission to dig deep into my muscle and tendons even if it was uncomfortable. Permission to contort my body into odd ways to alleviate my pain and improve my range of motion.

Before he unknowingly gave me this permission I would often stop just short of getting into a position that would’ve been beneficial to my rehab for fear of re-injuring myself. But the exercises he gave me to do pushed those limits, and when I did them and realized they were helping, and not hurting, it allowed me to push a little further.

The last thing I would say is that it is also important to be doing the right exercises. When you’re talking about being consistent, one of the key elements that almost ensures consistency, is progress. If you’re seeing progress, you are much more likely to continue. And of course the opposite is true. If you’re not seeing progress, then you’re unlikely to continue.

The exercises he gave me helped. I felt physically better, and that feeling encouraged me to continue.

Some lessons are taught. Some are spoken. Some were not even meant to be lessons. You have to be on the lookout for all of them.

Workout Journal

I’m away at a conference for two days. I’m actually only 20 miles from where I live. But since Jen and I haven’t gotten away recently, and we needed to have a dog sitter anyway, we decided to use it as an excuse to get away. So, we’re spending two nights in a cozy hotel, in a cute little town.

All I brought with me to exercise is two resistance bands. A 15 - 35 lb, and a 25 - 65 lb.

Today was day 1 of the conference, and I thought if I got up at 6 am it would leave me enough time to get through my morning routine (including my daily Campfire Squat Test), as well as my workout. Turns out, not so much. I barely had time to drink a coffee (the result of a broken machine in the lobby).

All I had it turns out was 12 minutes extra before we had to go. I know this because that is how long I exercised for this morning. I got through 3 rounds of my first superset, and that was it. We were out the door.

In a past life that would have frustrated me the whole day. I would’ve been pissed that “I didn’t get my workout in.” But at present I just accepted it, and decided when I got back to the hotel after the conference I would finish my workout. And that’s what I did.

Most of us have this idea in our head that our workouts have to be long, hard, and continuous. And that message couldn’t be further from the truth. The only thing that matters in the long run is consistency. Something I’m trying to show to people through my 30 days challenges. First, the push up challenge in which I went from 31 push ups on day 1, to averaging over 50 in the last 7 days. And the second one where I’m working on nailing at least one Campfire Squat (feet and knees together, ass to the ground). I’m currently able to do 0, and it’s been 5 days (but I’m getting closer).

The point is, feel free to break out of whatever mold you’ve been led to believe is true when it comes to exercise. If you can only fit 1 push up in the morning into your routine. Do 1 push up. If you only have 12 minutes. Do 12 minutes. If you find time later in the day, pick up the rest.

It feels good to be on the other side of a manic mentality when it comes to fitness. There’s so much more to fitness than killing yourself with a workout and torturing yourself with a diet. Take whatever size steps you can towards a healthier you.

Mismanaged Moments

I think it’s important to realize that we have more time than we think. Not in life, but in moments throughout our life. We’re always rushing between tasks, afraid that if we take that extra second, everything will go to shit. But when you don’t take that extra second to tell your girlfriend she’s beautiful, or you rush through a meal, is precisely when shit starts to fall a part. Our lives are filled with mismanaged moments that we have the time for.

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The thing I lie the most about is my job. What I do for work, which is another way of asking “how do you make money?” I hate being asked this question, because I don’t have a formal source of income, and I hate telling people that.

To me, when someone hears that I’m not working, haven’t worked in 6 years, and I’m under 40, they either think I’m rich, or that I live on a trust fund or some form of inheritance. No one has ever said that, but that’s my suspicion. Something on their face gives me that feeling.

So, more often than not, I lie. And, depending on who it is, depends on the lie.

If it’s a service man, like an electrician, the internet guy, or a furniture delivery, I usually say I’m a healthcare consultant. Which to me, isn’t totally a lie. In my head its true. Even though I don’t actually do consulting work in healthcare, I could. I have the experience.

But, if I’m talking to a more fitness or outdoor focused person, say someone I met on a hike, I usually say I work in fitness, without much description. To which most people just assume I mean personal trainer. Which, again, I could be. I have the certification, and I definitely have the experience. But, I’m not a personal trainer.

But in situations when there’s a good chance I’m going to see the person again, I tell them at least part of the truth. “I’m not working right now,” is a response I like to give. Which, prompts two responses. Person A assumes I got laid off, and gives me an empathic “sorry” look. Person B thinks I’m just starting a sabbatical, puts on a big smile, and says “thats awesome, good for you.”

Rarely ever do I tell anyone that it’s been 6 years since I held a formal full-time job. People’s heads explode. They’re not sure how to process someone not working that’s under the age of 40. Some people throw a look of “lazy generation.” Others, genuine disappointment. But some people are genuinely excited for you.

And to those people, I’ll tell the whole truth

It’s harder than you might think to not work for 6 years in your 30s. To not get sucked back up into the beast to chase money and promotions. But what’s harder is the feeling of being judged for it. No one could understand my reasons. I barely can. So, I’d rather keep them to myself.

But just today I realized at least in part why I never worked while I was living in Los Angeles. Because although I thought that’s why I was going there, what I realize now is that working was not the reason. The reason I went to Los Angeles was to find myself. To explore unhindered by responsibility, accountable to no one by myself, and see what happens. See if out alone in the world I sank, or swam, and the type of person I became. That was my job during those three years.

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There is no good or bad advice. But the problem with advice is that it’s usually something that worked for that person. And since it worked for them, we assume it’ll work for us. And when it doesn’t, we mark it as a failure, and assume again, but this time that we are not capable.

Not realizing that there is a path out there for us, and we have to keep searching. Even if its not their path, you have one. And in the search for your path, you learn things.

You learn what you like, and what you don’t. What you’re good ati, and what you’re not. What frustrates you, or makes you feel angry, and about makes you hpayy and feel joyous.

And you go through your day getting rid of the bad, to make more room for the good. And thats your path to glide towards on you’re way to everything you ever wanted.

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I think the thing that’s been interesting me the most recently is this behavior we all have where we shut down our thoughts. We say we want to do something, and then right behind it we blurt out an excuse not to. “I’m just going to get a canned response anyway. Better not to send my feedback.”

We all do it all the time. I’ve been doing it for awhile, and I still do it a lot. But accepting my first voice, is a practice that I continue to work on.

Listen to the people around you. Listen to them tell you about something you want, and then just as quickly shut it down. Then listen to yourself the next time you tell yourself you want something. And pay attention to the thought right after it. A reason not to.

It’s been fascinating to me because I’ve learned that when I’m listening to that first voice. That first gut reaction. My instinct. I flow from one thing to the next without hesitation. But the second I interrupt it, its like a train wreck with a 200 car pileup. Everything after it becomes seemingly more difficult.

I used to think that once that train rolled off the tracks that that was it. That was my fate for the rest of the day. The week. Sometimes the month, as one challenging thing after the next would pop up. But I’ve also learned that it’s possible to put the train back on the tracks.

And all it takes is putting a stake in the ground, and declaring that from this moment forward, you’re going to follow that voice. And it all falls back in line.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, just observe the people around you. Observe your own thoughts. See if you can notice some sort of self-limiting talk keeping people from pursuing what they want.

But that’s why everyone needs at least one person in their life who tells them to go for it. And not in the way that your mom might say, “yea, you should do it.” But in a way that makes you believe it’s possible. Maybe it’s a close friend. A business partner. Your significant other. Everyone needs an advocate. A supporter, that tells them why they HAVE to do it, and WHY they CAN.

But I’ve realized with myself that the reason I often dismiss that first voice is because of fear. I don’t trust myself. I don’t trust that the advice I’m giving me is the right thing for me. That there is probably something I should be doing (that “should” word again. A bad word in my vocabulary). So, I push that voice aside and think about what I should be doing, which never works out well.

If I instead tell myself to have confidence. To believe in myself that I do know what’s best for me. That I can make it happen, and that the path being laid out by my intuition is the right one, then more often than not I find success, OR I can pivot quickly towards success.

Because let’s face it. Intuition isn’t 100% correct. Nothing is 100% correct in life. But it’s right more often than it’s not, and when you’re dialed into it, even if it leads you down the wrong path, you’re able tap into it fast and say “how do we get out of here.”

Post Run Lunch Meal

I went for a long run this morning, at least compared to the amount I’d been running in the past year. I snacked on some nuts on the way home and prepared this “salad” when I got home. I wanted something meaty and tasty, and I got it.

I’m sure this will be just one of many meals I eat today #hungry.

Red leaf lettuce. Chicken thigh. Bacon jowl. Celery. Red onion. Spicy olives. Avocado.

Dressing: Olive oil, red wine vinegar, Dijon mustard, sriracha, salt.

Not everything you learn will be life changing, but everything you learn will change your life.

A new perspective. A new technique. A new appreciation. A new approach.

We finished our first gardening job today. Gardening has been so beneficial for me. Mainly learning how important it is to not let the enormity of a project overwhelm me. It’s been a good teacher in emphasizing the need to focus on what’s in front of me, instead the totality of the work.

Weeding is perhaps the best teacher. When I look at our backyard, and see weeds everywhere, my initial reaction is always, “I don’t have time for this, this is going to take forever.” Which usually leads to a day or two of procrastination.

But, if I simply focus on just getting one weed at a time. The weed right in front of me, and ignoring the hundreds of others that have popped their head up, all of a sudden the task seems manageable, and the time flies.

Sometimes while I’m weeding my mind will actually wonder into the future, to two weeks from now when all of the weeds will have grown back. And just that thought always makes me pause. But I bring myself back by pulling just the one weed in front of me.

Stump removal is similar. I encountered a huge stump in my backyard where I was trying to level land for our greenhouse frame. The first day that I attacked it I spent hours trying to rip it out. Breaking two shovels in the process. I was just whacking at it, trying to pry it from the ground. I thought I was going to remove the whole thing in one powerful move. But stumps don’t work that way, hence the broken shovels.

It was only after I took a step back, and started to cut away at it tentacle by tentacle, that I was able to make any progress. And it was only after I bought a pick axe that I was able to remove it.

I had a similar experience over 2 days trying to remove a stump at our client’s house. On day 1, forgetting the lessons of the stump removal of my house, I was comitted to removing it in one shot. But the stump, which was packed into a slope of hard rock and clay, wouldn’t budge. Luckily, no shovels were broken.

On day 2 I came back with a shovel, loppers, and the pick axe. Over the course of 2 hours I methodically clipped, smashed, and dug the stump out. Yes, it took 2 hours, but it was an enjoyable 2 hours. The puzzle created by the stump kept me engaged and present the whole time.

In the end, I won, and I also came away with a great workout, and a great lesson.

Gardening has also driven home the importance of using the right tools for the job. The reason I broke 2 shovels trying to remove that first stump is because it wasn’t the right tool, on it’s own, for the job. The pick axe was.

The same was true of the stump at our client’s house. The shrub being removed was half dead, half alive, with wild shoots and branches popping out all over it, that were preventing me from seeing the best way to approach the base. But on day 2, I used the loppers to trim it all the way down to the base, which allowed me to better plan my attack.

Whenever I learn these lessons in my everyday life, I think about where else in my life I might be banging a shovel when I really need a pick axe. Or where else I’m procrastinating a project because I can’t find the first weed to pull. Most times it’s not that clear, but I know a moment in the future will come when I will refer back to these lessons, and they’ll help guide me towards better outcomes.

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That lesson came to me while I was opening the box that our new floor mop came in. Jen was trying to open it from the top, using pure strength to get it open. But it wouldn’t budge. So, she turned to me as she was about to run into the shower and said “can you open it?”

When I got around to it later in the evening, I instinctively went for the top because that’s what I watched Jen do. But after a few moments of struggling to get it open, I stopped and asked myself, “there must be an easier way.” I flipped it all around and found the right side with the tucked in flaps. I pulled them out and the boxed opened.

So many times in our lives we keep trying the same thing over and over again, expecting a different outcome. We’ve all heard the saying, “the definition of insanity…” But, I always thought they just meant really big and important things. I never thought that it could also apply to opening a box. In a past life, I would’ve ripped the box open. I never would’ve looked for another way.

I’ve realized lately that the biggest, most important, changes you make in how you live your life will go mostly unnoticed by those around you. People might notice the outcome. You lost some weight. You have more free time. You’re making more money. You’re happier. But they won’t understand how you did it. How you made a lot of small and unrecognizable changes, that changed your whole life.

Don’t get sucked up in making “big changes.” Big changes are the result of the accumulation of small changes over time.

Don’t Get Discouraged

All week my workouts have felt flat. Which has been particularly discouraging because my last four week block was one of my favorites in recent memory. It’s also discouraging because for the first time in a long time I took a full week off of programmed training last week, thinking I would fly into this new block with massive amounts of energy and enthusiasm to put a new 4 week program together. But, it just hasn’t been the case.

In truth, out of 4 strength sessions this week, I’ve been motivated to do 0 of them. Yes, none of them. But, regardless of that feeling, I’ve pushed through each one of them (albeit lethargically).

At the end of each one I’ve been so happy to be done and move on with my day. But in 0 out of 4 workouts did I regret doing them. I’m hoping next week will be better, but if it’s not, I’ll just limp through like I did this week.

What’s the point?

I know that the only thing that matters is staying consistent. That the intensity or duration of my workout doesn’t matter nearly as much as just showing up every day and putting in some effort. I know that even if I choose lighter weights this week, I can always choose heavier ones next week. But that by at least picking up lighter weights, I’ll be setting myself for heavier ones later.

The point is that you don’t have to like and be into every workout you do. You don’t have to wake up every day looking forward to exercising. I’m someone who has been exercising consistently for over 20 years. When I’m fully rested and fully of energy I LOVE TO EXERCISE. But, I can count many more days of not wanting to train, then I can count the number of days I have wanted to train.

But that’s the game. You don’t have to like it, but you have to do it, because doing it will reward you.

The point is, don’t be discouraged if you don’t want to workout today, or you had a shitty workout today. Just know that there are millions of other people out there, including myself, going through the same daily struggle. But we all have to put in the work.

The thing you don’t want to do is the thing you need

Part of my lack of motivation this week has been fatigue. I knew it was but I was unwilling to address it. Instead I chose again and again to just work through it. Creating more fatigue.

The thing I knew I needed was a float. For the last few months I’ve been getting into the float tank (also called a sensory deprivation tank) once per month. I even bought a membership that paid for the monthly session to ensure I went.

But this month it felt like one thing after the other, and I kept procrastinating making an appointment. I finally made one but a dog emergency (he’s okay) forced me to cancel it (or did I use the dog emergency as an excuse to procrastinate again?).

Today I finally went and did a 60 minute float. It was at a different place 20 minutes closer to my house (the 30 minute drive to the place where I hold my membership is one of the reasons for my procrastination). And all I could think during my float was “god I needed this.”

I don’t create time in my life to rest. And I’m sure you don’t either. Even what we consider “rest” is often anything but. Watching TV is not rest. Scrolling your phone (even if alone) is not rest. Even reading is not rest. Sleeping is rest, but how often do you get the quality and quantity of sleep you need? Probably not often.

The sensory deprivation tank is my once monthly forced rest. No lights. No sounds. No phones. No distractions. Zero gravity so my body gets to unwind as much as my mind.

I knew I needed it, but I kept putting it off. Every time I’d hit my workout and drag my ass through it this week I’d say to myself “you need a reset.” But I continued to fight it, convinced I’d be able to overcome it.

I don’t know what it is about humans that causes us to dismiss the things our mind and body tells us we need. In the War of Art, Steven Pressfield calls it The Resistance. That feeling of doubt, the internal naysayer, that dismissive voice that convinces you not to do what you want.

It happens in creative endeavors. It’s happens when thinking about leaving your job for a better opportunity. Or starting a business. Or taking some time to rest. We convince ourselves we don’t need it. When in fact it’s the exact thing we need.

That’s why I’ve created a saying for myself. “Sometimes the thing you don’t want to do is the thing you need.”

It doesn’t always work right away (as evidenced by my 3 week delay getting to a float), but the more I repeat it, the more likely I am to get what I need.

Meaty Dinner

Homemade bunless burger patty, topped with red onion

Sautéed mushrooms (shiitake, white, baby bella)

Shredded and sautéed brussels sprouts

Cheesy potatoes

A Note on Exercise Form

I talk a lot about form, but the reality is you can only get good at a movement, and improve your form with experience. Said another way, your form is likely going to suck the first time you try an exercise. A challenging one specifically.

And that’s ok as long as you take it slow and use light weight.

I tried weight transfers from the bear crawl position today for the first time. My form wasn’t horrible, but I can tell by the middle of the set (about rep 10) that I was already figuring out ways to improve it.

But I knew I was going to struggle with it since I’d never done it before, so rather than stroking my ego and grabbing my 35 lb to 25 lb kettlebell, I grabbed my 15 lber (actually my girlfriends).

I humbled myself and started low and slow. And I will continue to start low and slow.

Form is important, but recognize that it’s going to take time and repetition to get better at it. Start low and slow and just realize that if you nail it, there will be plenty of time to get aggressive.

That’s true of a new exercise, and most things in life. 

Form pointers:

• squeeze your legs together as if you're holding a block between them [check this video for an example: https://youtube.com/shorts/d9FcgHI-QlA?si=NeXR4xRxuLORZLXI]

• try not to rock back and forth

• drive your hands through the ground, rotating your elbows back and in

• keep your tailbone tucked, abs engaged

• keep your chin tucked

• reset after each rep

My favorite book has something new to teach every time I open it

Personal Development

The Lion Trackers Guide to Life, Boyd Varty

This is now my fourth time through this book (once on audio, three times reading it). And every time I go through it, something different sticks out to me. Here are just two examples from this last time around.

Page 72: “In the moment with no social conditioning, who am I?”

This is such a profound question to ask yourself. Perhaps the single most important question anyone can ask themselves. And while the question is important, the answer is of most importance. And answering it is not easy to do. Especially when you’ve spent your life being conditioned to act a certain way or to be a certain someone. And even still, if you are able to drill down to the core of who am I, living it proved to be the most difficult. Society doesn’t make it easy to be the person you innately know you are. We are surrounded in every direction by alternative suggestions for who we should be, how we should act. And that’s really where the work comes in. In maintaining the persona of the person you innately are, while the whole world tries to convince you otherwise.

Page 82: “IF something is all you have ever known, you mistakenly believe that’s just how it is. Perhaps this is the greatest danger, that we don’t even recognize another way.”

This is what I went through. From a very young age I thought you went to college, got a job, had a family. I don’t want to say that this was drilled into me, but it was the only path I ever considered. It wasn’t until 6 or 7 years into my career that I started contemplating a different way was possible. It started becasue I began reading books about successful people and successful companies. And the more stories I read, the more I realize that these people or ideas were for the most part not extraordinary, other than in their determination to be different.

I realized that their paths were not the straight line I had always thought they were, but rather their path was a collection of peaks and valleys, lefts, and rights. But what struck me again and again was their desire to keep trying, despite setbacks, and the criticism for non-conformity. And I began to realize that the path I thought I had to go down, didn’t in fact need to be my path.

If you are looking for your path, I don’t think there is a better book out their to read. Read it. Underline. Ponder his message. This is an awesome book.

For the full 2024 booklist, click here.

Schedules and lists keep trying to take over my life

I keep trying to put myself on a schedule even though it never works. It doesn’t help me be productive. It stifles my creativity and it puts the brakes on my productivity. Instead of being dialed into my intuition and following what I need to be doing, I end up doing what I should be doing. Boyd Varty in The Lion Trackers Guide to Life says, “no animal has ever participated in a should.”

For sure there is value in both and balance is required. But I think there’s much more value to being dialed into your intuition. Maybe being on a schedule is good to gain some momentum and build some muscle memory. If a schedule will make you do the work, then by all means, schedule away. Make lists. 

But as soon as your dialed into your gut. Dialed into listening to your calling. Ditch the plans and just live. 

It’s something I work on daily, but inevitably I slip back into the idea that I need to be on a schedule with lists of things to do and check off. It sneaks up on me, and before I know it I’m what I’m doing has lost all meaning, I’m unhappy, and I’m not getting anything done that I actually want to do.

A couple of weeks ago I started journaling before bed again. Journaling, particularly before bed, had been a regular practice for me. But when we moved and my routine got lost, it fell off. When I started up recently one of the first things I did was start to compile a list of all the things I needed to do. After three nights I had more than 10 items on my list and it was growing. Maybe I got to 1 per day, but that was it. It wasn’t that I was being lazy or procrastinating, I just had other things that needed to be done, and so the “list” kept growing, and ever night before bed I’d enter into a state of mini-panic as I realized I hadn’t made any progress.

Finally I decided fuck the list. I thought back to the realization I’ve had so many times before that I work best without lists or schedules, and I crossed out the whole list and decided each day I would do whatever my mind brought me. That was about a week ago now and I’ve had some of the most productive days since.

Lists and schedules are for work. Checking corporate boxes. Showing up to meetings on time. In your own life, try just going off your gut. Try just being in tune with your intuition and doing what that little voice in your head tells you.

I’m convinced that’s the key to success.

Tools of Titans Challenge

I’ve had Tim Ferriss’ book Tools of Titans for more than five years without reading it. I’ve opened it up a few times to see if I could pull some knowledge out of it, but the sheer size of it (it looks like a textbook) has always made me shy away.

This morning I was looking in the basement for a book to read and I decided it was time. It was time to make my way through this behemoth of a book. 

I’m a firm believer that books come to you when you need them. There’s been so many book (too many to count) that I’ve initially not been interested in, only to pick them up years later and derive so much from. This morning as I sat on my floor reading the introduction to Tools of Titans, that feeling of “it’s time” came over me.

The first section of the book is about health (the 2nd is wealth, the third is wise). In this first section he advises 7 exercises recommended by Christopher Sommer, a world renowned gymnastics coach and trainer. 

With the week off of weight training, I decided it would be fun to make an attempt at each one of them. Here are my results.

QL Walk - I was really excited for these because I've had an issue with my QL for years now, that all stemmed from an achilles overuse injury while training for a marathon. I never rehabbed it and five years later I still deal with this issue. So these were exciting to read about and try because of the potential to help me PLUS it's always these little weird movements that kick my ass. These didn't kick my ass physically, but try scooting your butt across the floor forward and back using just your butt muscles. Like other moves on this challenge I'm not confident that on the first try I nailed the form, but regardless these felt really good. As soon as I was done I stood up and everything in the lower back/hip/psoas area (the area that consistently gives me problems) felt loose and ready to go. Definitely give these a try for a change in your movement pattern.

Jefferson Curl - I'm familiar with Jefferson Curls so these were actually a pleasant exercise to see and work on. A good friend of mine who is also an A+ physical therapist actually introduced me to them (https://primalphysicaltherapy.com/). He prescribed them as part of my rehab. In tools of Titans the coach who loves these, Christopher Sommer, says he has his athletes do them before almost every workout. They are a great way to get some fluidity going in your body. Back and hamstrings in particular. One important note with all of these Tools of Titans exercises is to not go to failure or to a point where it hurts (the latter is true of all exercises). But give these a try the next time you're looking for a good addition to your warm up routine.

Dips with Ring Turn Out - The point of these dips is to try and turn your arms out at the apex (top of the dip) to a point of what would be 10 and 2 on a clock. This was my first time really trying any form of dips on the rings since I purchased them. The goal in Tools of Titans is to be able to do 5 of these very slowly. I was able to get 4, but I'm not sure my form was what he would have been looking for. Regardless, these are great. They recruit so many muscles that are ignored during more stable movements. If you're going to try them, make sure you are comfortable doing regular dips first. Don't just jump on the rings because I think tearing a shoulder is probably very easy to do. He suggests in the book being able to do 15 regular clean dips before attempting these, and I would suggest the same.

Hinge Rows - You can definitely do these using a TRX as well. I don't suspect there would be much of a difference in the movement. But since I have the rings, I used them. These were weird to get comfortable with. It took a few reps, but once I did, they felt really good. I don't know if the point of them was to be a shoulder opener / floss, but thats what I was feeling. I also did feel a nice strain in my bicep. But a different strain, not like anything I've felt before with other bicep focused exercises. This is a cool movement because although your lower body is not bearing any weight, it is still involved and still needs to hinge (which is a fundamental movement for a lot of lower body exercises). So, it's a nice way to practice hinging without the pressure of weight on your feet. But I liked these for the shoulder benefits I felt and that's what will keep me coming back to these.

AG Walks with Rear Support - These were by far the hardest of all the movements I tried. But the time I started scooting myself backward my triceps were on fire. I then tried to go forward again and my body just would not move! hahaha The goal here is to move forward and backward consistently for 5 minutes! I got maybe 60 seconds before gassing out. A move like this reminds me that no matter what kind of shape you think you're in, how much weight you think you can lift, there is always a move out there that will kick your ass. BUT, it also reminds me that with enough consistent practice, there is no move in life you can't master. That is true of exercise and any other skill you think you are no good at. Practice, practice, practice. That is what I will be doing with these.

Pike Pulses - These were the second most difficult exercise but in a very different way. These were more difficult from a range of motion perspective. In this small pulse, my quads kept cramping up. It also proved an interesting mental challenge. In between each rep I found myself overthinking how I was going to lift my feet off the ground in the next one. But like the QL Walks [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7inYS3jewck] these really opened me up and felt like they had great therapeutic benefits. Again, small movements like this can really have a way of kicking your ass. What's nice about these is that they can be done anywhere anytime. Try them. Goal is 10 - 15 reps lifting your feet 1 - 4 inches off the ground without rocking.

Cast Wall Walk - Ok, these were the most challenging from a strength and endurance perspective. The goal is to get 10 in a row (up the wall, down the wall, is 1 rep). I managed three. A couple of months ago I joined a movement school and was practicing handstands. That practiced really helped me here because otherwise I don't even know that I would've had the confidence to climb up the wall upside. Take your time if you're unsure or feel shaky. Or skip this one entirely. No sense in getting hurt. Straining your shoulders, wrists, or neck (all of which is possible). But, if you can manage to do a few, then go for it. Because these have a great way of kicking your ass. Watch until the end so you can see just how much they whooped me.

Wim “The Iceman” Hof Breath Work Day 1 - This is yet another technique I read about in Tim Ferriss' Tools of Titans. A book I let sit on the sidelines for a few years but am so appreciating right now. Every book has its time. This challenge (I'm calling it a challenge, Tim does not) is to complete a set of push ups (see: Wake Up Push Up Day 22 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oodhLR_p9sI), then rest 30 minutes before completing Wim Hof's breathing technique, followed by another set of push ups. The end result should be an increase in the number of push ups you're able to do. Here's the full technique as described in Tools of Titans: 1. Do a set of push ups, and end a few repetitions short of failure. Record the number. (note: I failed to do this, stopping only 1 short of failure). 2. Rest at least 30 minutes (I did this, setting a 30 minute timer). 3. Do ~40 repetitions of the following breathing exercise: Max inhale (raise chest) and "let go" exhale (drop chest sharply). The let-go exhale can be thought of as a short "hah." If you're doing this correctly, after 20 to 30 reps you might feel loose, mild lightheadedness, and a little bit of tingling. The tingling is often felt in the hands first. (I felt whats described but closer to 35 reps, so I ended up doing 50 to make sure I got the full effect). 4. On the last breathing cycle, breathe in completely, exhale completely, then do another set of push ups. More often than not, people will experience a sharp increase in the max number of push ups, even though their lungs are empty. After doing the breathing exercise I only managed 50 push ups, which is exactly what I had done 30 minutes prior. However, in contrast to the morning set of push ups, this set felt a lot easier. The first 30 push ups were done without even breathing. The next 15 felt effortless. And it was only around the last 5 where I felt the struggle come in. It was an interesting experiment though. I don't know if my breath work was not done properly, or the fact that I came close to maxing on the first set, that caused me only to match the 50 reps. Either way, it was fun and the breathing exercise alone is worth the try. In fact, I plan on incorporating it into my morning wake up session right after my push ups. If I do the full experiment again (push up, breath work, push up), I'll be sure to share. But give it a try. Warning from the book: Never do breathing exercises in water or before training in water. Shallow water blackouts can be fatal. And you will not feel the onset until it's too late!!!

Wim “The Iceman” Hof Breath Work Day 2 - Day 2 trying this technique again. Today I managed 6 push ups more than my total from 30 minutes before. 54 versus 48. 54 is also an all time high for me during this 23 day push up challenge I've been running [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTW1baaFFeo]. So, I guess that's saying something. I guess this technique works. It's amazing because today the same thing happened. The first 30 - 40 push ups were almost effortless, whereas without the breathing technique they kind of suck. I don't know what it is, but I think there is some mental affects at play here. I don't think it's just physical. Aside from the push ups, this technique for breathing is great, and I would recommend trying it on it's own. Simple, fast, and effective. If you do it right, you will really feel it. Give it a try.

Glute Medius Workout - This is an ass kicker. Glute medius to be more precise. To think that these small little "Jane Fonda Movements" (as  @timferriss  calls them in the book) could burn so bad is hard to comprehend. But they do. Which you know means they are effective. I've been dealing with a lingering injury for years, and one of the things the physical therapists always say is "work on your glutes." To which I reply, "yes, I know." But then I never do. But for me it's always been my glute medius that has hurt after a long run, or a hard leg day. The day after a hard workout I always have to dig into that small muscle with a lacrosse ball or the  @PSORITE  . I just think that part of my issue is that I've never been given the right exercises to make these muscles really fire. I'm hoping that this little circuit can be the key to living (almost) pain free. Here are the directions from the books: Perform 7 reps of each exercise in succession without stopping. After doing one side, flip and do the other. Once you're able to cleanly do 15 reps, you can think about adding an ankle weight. #1 - Up/Down Lie down on your side and use your arm to support your head. Keeping your legs straight, lift your top leg and lower it, keeping your foot internally rotated as described above (think pigeon toed). Don't lift the foot very high. The max angle at your crotch should not exceed 30 degrees. Higher reduces the tension and defeats the purpose. For exercises #2 - 4, maintain roughly 12-inch distance between your ankles at the bottom. Maximize tension on the glute medius and only move your leg in a horizontal plane. Ensure the ankle doesn't dip when kicking behind you, for instance. In the first 1 or 2 workouts, aim to find the leg height that is *hardest* or you. It's usually 12 to 18 inches from the lower ankle. Remember to keep toe below heel. #2 - Front Kick/Swing Kick your top leg out to 45 degrees at the hip. Think "cabaret." #3 - Back Swing Swing your leg back as far as possible without arching your back (not arching your back is key) #4 - Full Front and Back Swing Swing your leg forward and then back (the previous two combined), with no pause at the midline. #5 - Clockwise circles Paint an 18-inch diameter circle with your heel. Remember, at the bottom of the circle, your ankles should be roughly 12 inches apart. If you let the ankles get within inches of each other, you're cheating. #6 - Counterclockwise circles Repeat in other direction. #7 - Bicycle Motion Pedal as if you were using a bicycle

A vote of confidence for my investing strategy

Today was a good reminder of why I started diversifying the ETFs I’ve been investing in. Pictured below is the percentage gain / loss for each of the four (4) I have been contributing to. You can see that with the exception of VTI and SPY which are similar in their loss for the day, the other 2 vary greatly.

The short explanation of each is:

- VTI: 3,000 large cap equities

- QQQM: 100 large cap Nasdaq equities

- IWM: 2,000 mid-cap equities

- SPY: 500 large cap equities

In term of aggressiveness I would rate them in the following order from least to most (could also be read least risk to most risky):

1. VTI

2. SPY

3. IWM

4. QQQM

This would be the same order I would propose for volatility as well. So, if you are risk and volatility averse, VTI is your best bet.

But having a piece of all four is a nice mix that gives you broad exposure to the market. My goal has been and continues to be to consolidate away from individual equities (i.e. Apple, Tesla) into these four ETFs, where it’s much easier to track my portfolio, and gives me one less thing to think about.

Wild Salmon Dinner and a Dressed Up Side Salad

Salmon. Boiled Beets. Sautéd Brussels. Mushrooms. Red leaf lettuce salad with avocado, red onion and roasted chick peas.

A Thought About Injury

Every time I think I have my injury under control or improving, I realize that I don’t. The only thing that seems to genuinely ease the pain is rest, or even just taking it easy on my exercise routine. I realized this recently because I had been feeling really good, but I wasn’t going that hard on my workouts. I was able to take it a little bit lighter, and slower, and less intense, because my day was occupied with getting out house set up, and all the work we were doing was using up my energy that I typically tried to dispel through exercise.

But recently, as we’ve settled into the house, and there’s less work to be done, I’ve been hitting my workouts really hard. Four days per week of strength training. And two days per week of intense cardio. Either tough trail runs with lots of elevation gain, or HIIT style circuits in my garage using a combination of a rower, assault bike, heavy bag, and jump rope. And I’ve noticed in the past few days that my back has been acting up. It doesn’t help that during this time I’ve also been working to level a 10’ x 8’ space in our backyard that is covered in rocks and made up of dense, heavy clay soil.

But over the last couple of months I’ve been in a good morning routine, waking up and working on my pain points every day. I wake up most days in pain and twisted, and so I spend 30 - 40 minutes doing soft tissue work and pressure point releases with my foam roller and massage balls. I thought it had been healing me. Turns out, not so much. Even though it might not have been healing me the way I thought it was, I still think it’s good for maintenance, and I’ve continued to do it.

I think I’ve finally just come to accept hat this injury, initially sustained 5 years ago, that I never treated, is going to be with me for the rest of my life. I hope I’m wrong, and I will never stop working to try and fix it, but at this point it seems like a long shot. But it opens up kind of an interesting question.

If I rest, perhaps it will heal. If I rest, the pain will definitely subside. But if I rest, then what longer term benefits am I losing out on from not training the way I am currently. What will I lose in my strength and muscle mass? My endurance? My VO2 Max? Is it worth taking 1 month, 2 months, 3 months or more, off of training to see what happens?

It might be. But I know I’m not there yet.

Workout Journal August 21, Cardio Day

Workout Journal August 21

Today was a cardio day. I didn’t have the motivation to head out for a trail run, plus truth be told my feet have been killing me with blisters from these Earth Runners I’ve been wearing to run. They’re comfortable and I think they’ve been making me much stronger from the foot up, which is why I continue to wear them running. However, I find that around the 5 mile mark, the rubbing between my toes becomes pretty painful. I’m just not completely used to them yet. When I first put them on 2 years ago, I couldn’t even walk in them without pain. So to run 5 miles of trail without pain is a pretty big improvement. I know it doesn’t sound like it, but I fully endorse these sandals just to be clear.

All that’s to say, I didn’t trail run today like I have been. Instead I did a cardio mix in my garage gym. 

• 20 minutes on the assault bike - 5.5 miles

• 10 minutes on the rower - 2,571 meters

• 3 x 3 minute rounds of my newly acquired heavy bag with 1 minute rest intervals. 

About 40 minutes of total varied work. 

I used to always pick one modality of cardio (ie treadmill) and stick with it for my full session. A couple of years back I heard a fitness person talk about breaking up your 30 minutes into 10 minute sessions on 3 different pieces of equipment. 

It sounds obvious to me now (and maybe it’s obvious to you) but I had never really thought about it like that before. Instead I would dread my 30-40 minute session. Now, I look forward to it. 

10-20 minutes on any one piece of equipment or any one modality is just about the sweet spot where it becomes boring. So, on days when I can’t hit the trail, that’s what I’ve been doing. 30 - 40 minutes of varied work. 

Give it a thought if you’re bored with your routine. 

Breakfast: Eggs and Bacon (Jowl)

2 backyard chicken eggs scrambled with broccoli, avocado, white onion, and salt.

2 pieces of bacon 🥓 jowl 😋.

What you picture food waste to be versus what it really is

I’m not sure what people think of when they think about food waste, but pictured below is just one example. This 8 lb tub of frozen wild sea scallops was part of a whole pallet of these tubs that was rescued by a local food recovery organization. Figuring out how to best distribute 8 lb tubs of sea scallops to those in need is challenging, so most of them have been sitting in the frozen cooler of their warehouse. I was fortunate enough to be volunteering yesterday and was offered one to take home.

I think for most people, thinking about food waste conjures of images of rotting food, or leftovers, or low quality processed products. And to be sure, food waste does include all of those. But, food waste in this country also includes an abundance of high quality and expensive food items. These scallops, which in a market would sell for upwards of $40 per pound, are a prime example of that. But the more I’m involved, the more I see other high quality and healthy items that were on their way to the landfill.

Wild caught frozen fish is a norm at our markets. Organic vegetables is another. Dairy products such as milk and cheese. Endless amounts of canned foods. The list goes on and on.

I think food waste in this country, around the world too I guess, needs a new name. When we’re talking about food waste we are not talking about the little scraps that might be leftover on your plate (although those do count, so make sure to eat everything on your plate!). We’re not talking about rotting food. We’re talking about real food that could satiety and feed real people who need it.

Which is to say nothing about the fact that when food like chicken, beef, pork, and seafood go to waste in a landfill, we’ve wasted a life. An animal was raised on this planet. Used up resources. And gave his life to become food, and still we discard it to the dump like it never mattered.

We’re not doing a good job when it comes to food waste in this country. Getting food waste right, fixing the food system in this country, has the ability to fix so much. Eliminate food insecurity. Improve people’s health, and reducing healthcare costs as a results. Reduce greenhouse gases. Right social injustices. And so much more.

I’m not sure there’s anything more important than solving this issue.

Workout Journal

I’m onto week 3 of my current 4 week strength training program and already I can feel that I’m getting stronger. I did incline dumbbell bench press today and it was the easiest I’ve been able to move the weight. Interestingly, my chest felt sore from the push up challenge I’ve also been doing, but it didn’t impede my workout. It actually helped it.

The past two nights I’ve also finally been able to stay in bed and sleep, aided by 5 mg of edibles before bed. For the past few weeks I’ve been jumping out of bed even though I know I wasn’t rested, but I just couldn’t wait to get up and start my day. But I really needed that extra 90 minutes each morning, and the past two nights I got it.

During my workout today I was thinking about mindset (something I think about so often). I was thinking about how sometimes I get depressed or anxious thinking about the fact that eventually my body is going to breakdown and I’m not going to get the results I’m used to from working out and diet.

But whenever I start to go down that path, I immediately correct it thinking about people who beat those odds. Guys I’ve followed on social media or elsewhere who are well into their 40s, 50s, or 60s and look and perform better than me. Guys on the triathlon course who were 20 years my senior passing me on the bike or the run.

I also think about myself and the fact that in my early 20s I don’t think I would’ve ever pictured looking or feeling as good as I do as I approach 40.

The point, to bring it back to mindset, is that I have a choice. I can think about the pre-programmed inevitability of declining as I age that has been fed to us our whole lives, or, I can think about all the guys and girls who have continued to perform, continued to defy the odds, and in some cases who have actually improved as they’ve gotten older.

I have a choice of what to focus on. And whenever something negative, depressing, or anxiety provoking, works its way into my head, I immediately look for the alternative. The happy, calming, and positive possibilities that exist, and focus on those.

Superset A: Incline dumbbell chest press - TRX bicep curl

Superset B: TRX row - Resistance band tricep extensions - Copenhagen weighted hold

Superset C: 3-pt 1.5 rows - Weighted push up - TRX tucks

Dinner: Chicken, Veggies, and a Side Salad

Early dinner. Chicken thighs. Roasted Brussels. Boiled beet. Red leaf lettuce salad with 🥑, celery, red onion, red cabbage (dressing: olive oil, red wine vinegars, salt).