How I Limit My Phone Usage
I, like most people, struggle with being on my phone too much, and I’m always looking for ways to limit my usage. We carry our phones everywhere, and even when we do decide to put them down, we’re inevitably prompted to pick them back up the second a new message, call, email, or social media notification comes through. Each time this happens, it brings us right back into the throws of phone addiction. Phones have eliminated boredom.
On average Americans check their phones anywhere from 150 to 350 times per day (depending on the survey). That equates to once every 5 - 10 minutes. There is nothing else in this world that garners that much attention from us. And when we touch our phones, we usually end up on it longer than we intended. We spend nearly 1/3 of our time awake, or 4 - 5 hours, each day staring at our phones.
What’s worse is what we do when we’re on them. Scrolling through social media, checking our email, shopping, and gaming are all top reasons people report using their phones for. The number one reason though is to call or text friends and family. And while keeping in touch feels like a legitimate reason to be on your phone, more and more research shows that always being connected is not a good thing. Always being connected negatively affects our mental health and well-being. Anxiety and rates of depression have soared since the advent of the smartphone.
But I think there is a stigma around trying to convince people to get off their phone. People feel, with good reason, that you’re trying to control their behavior and prevent them from doing something that they “enjoy.” But I think that thought process needs to be re-framed. It’s less about what’s being taken away and more about what’s being given back.
A smartphone is like a bag of M&M’s or a cylinder of Pringles (once you pop you can’t stop). The more junk processed food you consume the less likely you are to consume nutritious food that fuels your body. The same holds true with your phone. The more time you spend staring at social media, or scrolling through emails, or playing games, the less likely you are to immerse yourself in activities that are going to benefit your life. Most notably, thinking.
Thinking is a vital but lost art. We need time to think to figure out what we want from our day, our lives, our jobs, our relationships. And we need time to think to figure out how to make it all happen. But that’s almost impossible to do when you’re being distracted by your phone. It doesn’t matter if you’re “just responding to a friend” or watching a video. It is all pulling you away from deciding your goals, figuring out how to accomplish them, and executing.
Phones also rob you of being present and staying connected in the real world. Smartphones create a forcefield around you that blocks out your environment and the people in it. I’m sure you’ve experienced trying to talk to someone who is immersed in their phone only to get no response or a muted one. Or you’ve been walking across the street and realized you haven’t looked up to check for traffic (I know I have).
It’s for all these reasons that I’ve worked hard over the last few years to limit my phone usage. For me it’s simple. When I limit time on my phone, I’m more productive, happier, and my day goes my smoother. In addition, when I do finally pick my phone up, I’m excited to respond to whatever communications I missed.
But putting down your phone is not easy (they are in fact designed to be addictive in the same way a slot machine is), and it doesn’t come down to willpower. Like so many things, diet being a good example, your ability to succeed in limiting your phone comes down to setting up strict parameters, and then following them as closely as possible. In the same way that it’s a lot easier to not snack on Pringles or M&M’s if they aren’t in your pantry, giving yourself reasons to avoid your phone will make it harder to pick up and easier to put down.
Recognizing all of this, I’ve setup several informal rules that I try to comply with every day. I’m not 100 compliant, but these rules have helped me to separate myself from my phone and be more productive when I do pick it up. After all, a smartphone is a wonderful piece of technology if used for good.
Here are my rules and the tactics that I try to follow to make my days better and more productive.
No phones while eating. When I use my phone during a meal it takes away from my enjoyment of eating, and the person(s) I’m eating with. If I’m alone, I’ll either write (pen and paper) or read whatever is around. Recently I’ve been studying a postcard of Native Indian Tribe names we picked up on a road trip. It’s light enough to still let my mind wander, while keeping me from feeling completely bored. Reading nutrition labels is another fun past-time of mine.
Unsubscribe from emails that are no longer serving me. If I head for the delete button before the read button, then I need to unsubscribe. Marketing/spam emails are the obvious culprits, but I also regularly unsubscribe from emails I willingly signed up for. Sometimes they aren’t what I was expecting, or I’ve grown tired of the content. If I regain interest for some reason I can always resubscribe. But strict adherence to this rule saves me a lot of otherwise wasted time.
During the day my phone stays on vibrate. At night I put it on do not disturb and airplane mode. I don’t want to be woken up by my phone, and I don’t the first thing I see when I wake up to be unread messages. All too often those texts contain something that will ruin my morning. I check my phone after my morning routine is complete.
When I put my phone down, I lay it face down. If a notification does come through, I’m not tempted by the brightly lit LED screen to pick it up.
I intentionally leave my phone behind. In the car when I’m at the park with my dog (don’t rob me). At home when I go out to dinner. In my locker when I’m in the sauna. I do it because otherwise I’d be tempted to pick it up.
“I wanted to stop being on top of things, and start getting to the bottom of things.” This is a great quote I heard recently, and I think applies perfectly to social media usage. We think we’re staying on top of things but really, we’re getting nowhere. By deleting my Twitter and FaceBook, and no longer using Instagram, I’ve reduced the reasons to pick my phone up, and made more time to dive into things that actually interest me. I’ve also eliminated social media induced anxiety from my life.
Remember, not every message needs an immediate response. Not immediately acknowledging a message, email, or phone call is not the same as ignoring someone. Most times these actions are actually interrupting me and what I’m doing, which causes me to be distracted, lose focus, and lose productivity. So instead of answering right away, I finish my task, whether that’s folding laundry or reading a chapter, and then answer.
Re-direct why I picked my phone up. When the above fails and I pick up my phone and go to do something “unproductive” (i.e. refresh my email, check the stock market), I give myself a choice. Put the phone down or do something productive (i.e. read that newsletter or article you’ve been putting off). In this way I can at least make the most of my time.
It’s possible to limit your screen time. Try some of these tactics the next time you’re trying to manage your phone usage and let me know if they work for you.