Dominant and Non-Dominant Movement

Do you ever use your non-dominant hand for a regular activity? I once heard that some insanely high percentage of the population (90%?) only use one hand to brush their teeth.

When I heard that I immediately saw an opportunity to gain an edge. If most of the population is only brushing their teeth with one hand, then if I can use both, I’ve got an edge.

Soon after applying this idea to brushing, I started applying it to all aspects of my life. Whenever I’m involved in a dominant side activity, like, say, shoveling dirt, which has become a regular activity in my life recently, I try to use both hands. I switch sides enough to give each a 50 percent share. I don’t know how many other people think about this or do this, but I think it makes sense.

I do it while brushing my teeth, gardening, walking up steps, or picking something off the ground. I’ll catch myself reaching with my right (dominant hand), and I’ll immediately pull it back and go for my left. Got to keep it balanced.

But more balance and an edge, what I’ve noticed is that every time I assign a difficult task to my non-dominant side, I end up learning something new about the technique that improves my movement. It’s like, my dominant side has become so strong, that it’s able to cover up little deficiencies in my form by use of pure strength. The muscle memory and movement pattern on my dominant side is etched in stone, making it difficult to notice inefficiencies or to correct for incorrect movement.

But when I use my non-dominant side, I’m forced to take it slower, and in moving slower I notice things. Like how I need to grip the bucket handle tighter. Or an easier way to dig a hole. My non-dominant side doesn’t have the strength to just power through, so instead it relies on proper technique. Forcing slower (and awkward) movements, to make sure that there are no breaks in the chain. Otherwise my work will be ineffective and I could get hurt.

The movement pattern on my non-dominant side is also in it’s infancy, so it’s more malleable. I’m able to make changes on the fly without resistance. I’m then able to mimic those movements with my dominant side, and add technique to strength.

If you don’t ever switch sides, I encourage you to do it. Start with brushing your teeth, and see where else in your life it starts to pop up. I know it might seem silly, but progress in life is made up of small changes that most people would never notice.

A Pep Talk on Confidence

A lot of what’s stopping you from accomplishing what you want is confidence. When I think about the reason I need to get a job and start making money, it’s a fear that I’ll run out of money. Even though, luckily, barring a disaster, that day is a long way off.

What I really fear is, that if/when I run out of money, I won’t be able to make any more. Despite all of the things that I’ve accomplished in the past 6 years, none of them made me any money. So, in my mind, I’m afraid I won’t be able to. I lack confidence that I’ll be able to do it, and therefore, I’m afraid. And my fear pushes me to look for money. Despite not wanting or needing any right now.

So, there’s two possible truths. Either, I don’t know how to make money. Or, I haven’t been trying to. All the things I’ve accomplished and I continue to accomplish, are not being driven by money. They were all driven by an interest in exploring, and a passion to push myself.

So, which one is it? Can I turn my interests and passion into a money making endeavor when I need to? Can I focus my energy on earning a living if I need to?

That’s where confidence comes in.

I have to be confident that if I just keep following my interests and passions, that one day when I need it, the money will flow. That I have the talent and ambition to make that happen. Otherwise, what’s the point? What am I doing? What have I been doing for the past five years? Why have interests and passions if I’m not going to pursue them? Put them at the center of my life, and make money doing them.

So, when my doubt start to creep in, I repeat a shortened version of this to myself, and nine times out of ten, it breaks down the negative thought, and stopping it from ever entering my brain.

Go sell crazy somewhere else, were all stocked up here.

Two Voices

I have two voices in my head. I refer to them as Voice 1 and Voice 2. Voice 1, true to its name, is the first voice I hear in my head. It tells me what I need. It’s in tune with my intuition. It knows when I’m hungry. When I need to exercise. When I need to eat. And when I need to work. It tells me when I should be loving, compassionated, open, and understanding. It tells me when I need time alone to recharge. When I need to read, write, or disconnect. Voice 1 keeps me on my path.

Voice 2, on the other hand, serves to contradict everything that Voice 1 says, and it fills my head with doubt, fear, and reasons to ignore Voice 1. Voice 2 is my voice of “should.” You should do this. You shouldn’t do that. Voice 2 is the devil on my shoulder, but not because he’s telling me to do anything that’s wrong or bad. But because Voice 2 serves exclusively to knock me off my path.

There is no right or wrong between the two. There’s only the observation that when I follow Voice 1, that when I go with that first thought that pops into my head, my days and life are better.

Misc Thoughts on Macros, Diet, Exercise and the Blue Zones

Instead of thinking about everyday, think about your diet in terms of the week. This way if you mess up one meal in a day, you don’t beat yourself up for it. Instead you can tell yourself that you’ll make it up by staying consistent with your next meal and the one after that.

We put too much emphasis on getting every macro right that the whole project becomes overwhelming and we crash. Not every meal needs to be the exact right ratios or types of food. It’s more important that in the long term you’re successful. One wrong meal doesn’t have to spell disaster.

The same is true of exercise. We don’t need every workout to be our best. We just need to keep moving. The accumulation of movement over time is what spells change. If you’re emptying the tank at every workout, or getting so sore that it makes the next day too painful to workout, then you’re setting yourself back. Long term gains requires a lot of consistent hours.

I’m starting to fade on the idea that we need as much protein as some nutritionists and longevity experts say we do. The skepticism comes from watching and learning about people in the Blue Zones, the areas of the world where people live the longest, most active and fulfilled lives in the world.

In these parts of the world, it’s not uncommon for people to live past the age of 100, and being active into your 90’s is the norm. In all of these distinct cultures there are a number of things they do that they have in common. Like keeping close relationships and emphasizing community. Like maintaining a vegetable garden as the source of most of their food. And being active throughout their whole lives.

There’s also a lot of things they don’t do. They don’t work jobs they hate. They don’t do high intensity aerobic exercise. They don’t eat processed food. And they don’t obsess over the nutrients and macros they’re putting into their body. Protein included.

Their diets consist of a modest amount of proteins from a wide array of sources. Beans, legumes, dairy, plants, eggs, and some meat and fish.

If we want to explain part of the obesity epidemic I think we need to look at the way protein is forced on us. Eating too much protein while being inactive will lead to weight gain and other possible health issues. Because unused protein is stored as fat, and a lot of times in places you don’t want it, like the liver. 

If you are a bodybuilder, a high level athlete, or extremely active, then you are the exception. But considering that 60 percent of the adult population doesn’t get the recommended amount of daily exercise (20 minutes of moderate intensity aerobic exercise per day, 2 strength training sessions per week), than the overconsumption of protein is surely part of the issue.

The second thing I think the protein messaging does it cause overeating. Not only are we programmed to reach for protein at every meal, we’re also told hitting your daily protein goals (anywhere from 0.7 - 1.5 grams per lb of bodyweight) is hard to do in one day. Hm, I wonder why? Because it’s too much protein.

But in a subconscious effort to hit our goals we reach for calories hoping it gets us closer to the target.

During stretches when I’m really dialed into my training and my diet I can sense the difference from day to day of what my body is asking for. On days when I train hard, I can’t get enough protein and carbs. But on my rest days, it’s mainly carbs and a normal amount of protein (70 - 90 grams).

There’s a lot that’s influencing the changes we’re seeing in our health. None bigger than our outside environment, the one we cannot control. Things like the type of food that populates 90 percent of grocery stores, and the relentless marketing and messaging that’s everywhere. 

Don’t worry about the nutrients and macros you’re getting. Instead focus on eating real food and spending 70 - 80 percent of your day on your feet. I think that just those two changes can offer dramatic results.

How I Limit My Phone Usage

I, like most people, struggle with being on my phone too much, and I’m always looking for ways to limit my usage. We carry our phones everywhere, and even when we do decide to put them down, we’re inevitably prompted to pick them back up the second a new message, call, email, or social media notification comes through. Each time this happens, it brings us right back into the throws of phone addiction. Phones have eliminated boredom.

On average Americans check their phones anywhere from 150 to 350 times per day (depending on the survey). That equates to once every 5 - 10 minutes. There is nothing else in this world that garners that much attention from us. And when we touch our phones, we usually end up on it longer than we intended. We spend nearly 1/3 of our time awake, or 4 - 5 hours, each day staring at our phones.

What’s worse is what we do when we’re on them. Scrolling through social media, checking our email, shopping, and gaming are all top reasons people report using their phones for. The number one reason though is to call or text friends and family. And while keeping in touch feels like a legitimate reason to be on your phone, more and more research shows that always being connected is not a good thing. Always being connected negatively affects our mental health and well-being. Anxiety and rates of depression have soared since the advent of the smartphone.

But I think there is a stigma around trying to convince people to get off their phone. People feel, with good reason, that you’re trying to control their behavior and prevent them from doing something that they “enjoy.” But I think that thought process needs to be re-framed. It’s less about what’s being taken away and more about what’s being given back.

A smartphone is like a bag of M&M’s or a cylinder of Pringles (once you pop you can’t stop). The more junk processed food you consume the less likely you are to consume nutritious food that fuels your body. The same holds true with your phone. The more time you spend staring at social media, or scrolling through emails, or playing games, the less likely you are to immerse yourself in activities that are going to benefit your life. Most notably, thinking.

Thinking is a vital but lost art. We need time to think to figure out what we want from our day, our lives, our jobs, our relationships. And we need time to think to figure out how to make it all happen. But that’s almost impossible to do when you’re being distracted by your phone. It doesn’t matter if you’re “just responding to a friend” or watching a video. It is all pulling you away from deciding your goals, figuring out how to accomplish them, and executing.

Phones also rob you of being present and staying connected in the real world. Smartphones create a forcefield around you that blocks out your environment and the people in it. I’m sure you’ve experienced trying to talk to someone who is immersed in their phone only to get no response or a muted one. Or you’ve been walking across the street and realized you haven’t looked up to check for traffic (I know I have).

It’s for all these reasons that I’ve worked hard over the last few years to limit my phone usage. For me it’s simple. When I limit time on my phone, I’m more productive, happier, and my day goes my smoother. In addition, when I do finally pick my phone up, I’m excited to respond to whatever communications I missed.

But putting down your phone is not easy (they are in fact designed to be addictive in the same way a slot machine is), and it doesn’t come down to willpower. Like so many things, diet being a good example, your ability to succeed in limiting your phone comes down to setting up strict parameters, and then following them as closely as possible. In the same way that it’s a lot easier to not snack on Pringles or M&M’s if they aren’t in your pantry, giving yourself reasons to avoid your phone will make it harder to pick up and easier to put down.

Recognizing all of this, I’ve setup several informal rules that I try to comply with every day. I’m not 100 compliant, but these rules have helped me to separate myself from my phone and be more productive when I do pick it up. After all, a smartphone is a wonderful piece of technology if used for good.

Here are my rules and the tactics that I try to follow to make my days better and more productive.

• No phones while eating. When I use my phone during a meal it takes away from my enjoyment of eating, and the person(s) I’m eating with. If I’m alone, I’ll either write (pen and paper) or read whatever is around. Recently I’ve been studying a postcard of Native Indian Tribe names we picked up on a road trip. It’s light enough to still let my mind wander, while keeping me from feeling completely bored. Reading nutrition labels is another fun past-time of mine.

• Unsubscribe from emails that are no longer serving me. If I head for the delete button before the read button, then I need to unsubscribe. Marketing/spam emails are the obvious culprits, but I also regularly unsubscribe from emails I willingly signed up for. Sometimes they aren’t what I was expecting, or I’ve grown tired of the content. If I regain interest for some reason I can always resubscribe. But strict adherence to this rule saves me a lot of otherwise wasted time.

• During the day my phone stays on vibrate. At night I put it on do not disturb and airplane mode. I don’t want to be woken up by my phone, and I don’t the first thing I see when I wake up to be unread messages. All too often those texts contain something that will ruin my morning. I check my phone after my morning routine is complete.

• When I put my phone down, I lay it face down. If a notification does come through, I’m not tempted by the brightly lit LED screen to pick it up.

• I intentionally leave my phone behind. In the car when I’m at the park with my dog (don’t rob me). At home when I go out to dinner. In my locker when I’m in the sauna. I do it because otherwise I’d be tempted to pick it up.

• “I wanted to stop being on top of things, and start getting to the bottom of things.” This is a great quote I heard recently, and I think applies perfectly to social media usage. We think we’re staying on top of things but really, we’re getting nowhere. By deleting my Twitter and FaceBook, and no longer using Instagram, I’ve reduced the reasons to pick my phone up, and made more time to dive into things that actually interest me. I’ve also eliminated social media induced anxiety from my life.

• Remember, not every message needs an immediate response. Not immediately acknowledging a message, email, or phone call is not the same as ignoring someone. Most times these actions are actually interrupting me and what I’m doing, which causes me to be distracted, lose focus, and lose productivity. So instead of answering right away, I finish my task, whether that’s folding laundry or reading a chapter, and then answer. 

• Re-direct why I picked my phone up. When the above fails and I pick up my phone and go to do something “unproductive” (i.e. refresh my email, check the stock market), I give myself a choice. Put the phone down or do something productive (i.e. read that newsletter or article you’ve been putting off). In this way I can at least make the most of my time.

It’s possible to limit your screen time. Try some of these tactics the next time you’re trying to manage your phone usage and let me know if they work for you.

Top 10 Books Read in 2023

Every year I get great pleasure out of reading good books, and I’m always pushing those books onto my friends and loved ones who I think would enjoy them as well. This year I’m sharing the Top 10 books I read (not published) in 2023. The list includes book dedicated to Personal Development, Personal Finance / Financial Freedom, Non-Fiction, and Fiction.

Each one of these books shaped my year in a different way and I hope that they can do the same thing for you.

Happy Reading!

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Personal Development

Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones, by James Clear - I put this book off for a long time, dismissing it’s popularity as a fluke. But I bought a copy after listening to James Clear on the Joe Rogan Experience [link] and realized how closely I aligned with what he had to say. After reading Atomic Habits it became clear why the book is so popular. For me, it built on the concepts and knowledge I gained from The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, but it also provided actionable ways to improve. Combined, these two books create the perfect framework to re-route and build better habits.

Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder, by Gabor Matè - Scattered Minds builds on the lessons from In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts (what really causes addiction). Attention Deficit Disorder is not what you think it is. In fact, nothing is. Our lives and who we are, or who we think we are, are all shaped by the experiences and traumas we’ve faced throughout our lives. Every experience shapes you. After reading this book you’ll have a better understanding of human behavior, your own struggles with ADD/ADHD, and have greater sympathy for those struggling around you.

The Age of Scientific Wellness: Why the Future of Medicine Is Personalized, Predictive, Data-Rich, and in Your Hands, by Leroy Hood and Nathan Price - It’s no secret that the healthcare system is broken. I saw it firsthand in my 10 years working in the industry. This book provides hope that  big shifts in technology and ways of monitoring our health will usher in a new age of healthcare that is desperately needed. I loved this book, and although it sounds dense, it’s really well written and an easy read. If you’re curious about the future of healthcare, and/or you want to know where the opportunities might be, then this is a great book to read.

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Personal Finance / Financial Freedom

Buy This, Not That: How To Spend Your Way To Wealth And Freedom, by Sam Dogen (aka The Financial Samurai) - I wish I read Buy This, Not That 15 years ago (it wasn’t out then) when I was just starting my career. I wish I read it 5 years ago when I left my job. I really think this book is a must read for anyone who is looking for a practical and informative guide on how to achieve independence and wealth. Sam lays out actionable items, and provides real world examples to relate to. He also does it in a way that is easy to understand and follow. For followers of the Financial Samurai blog and newsletter, this book wraps up the lessons he teaches us each week with a nice little bow. I've already purchased an additional copy for my 16 year old nephew and I plan on buying a few more for people who I know could benefit. Great book.

Same As Ever: Timeless Lessons on Risks, Opportunity, and Living a Good Life, by Morgan Housel - I enjoyed this book more than his first book, The Psychology of Money. Which is saying a lot. Same As Ever thought offers more practical advice that can be used across all areas of your life. There were a handful of chapters, like Time Horizons and Trying Too Hard, which really hit home for me. This book and Buy This, Not That both came into my life at the exact right, when after 5 years of hiatus, I’m starting to put the pieces back together and planning for the future. I loved this book and would recommend it to anyone.

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Non-Fiction

A Place of My Own: The Architecture of Daydreams, by Michael Pollan - Only Michael Pollan can bring a writing shed to life. And do it while simultaneously teaching us about the interconnectedness of our lives and nature. This book is engaging and written with the same elegance that is present in all of his books. The book is also filled with practical information and lessons on how to approach building a structure. This book, like all of his, has inspired me to keep reading, writing, and looking for the connections around us.

Uncommon Grounds: The History of Coffee and How It Transformed Our World, by Mark Pendergast - Coffee, like most commodities, has a brutal past. This book reminded me a lot of the story told in The Fish That Ate The Whale. Deception. Greed. U.S. backed governments coups. These are all part of coffee’s history. In spite of it’s horrid past, the production of coffee and the industry around it, has come a long way. The difference between what you see today at your local or chain coffee shop and what you’ll learn in this book will shock you and make you appreciate the ease at which we now consume our most important drug.

The New Fish: The Truth About Farmed Salmon and the Consequences We Can No Longer Ignore, by Simen Saetre and Kjetil Ostli - As a health freak who lived on salmon (mostly farmed, yikes) for years, I recently become interested to learn more about the farmed fish industry. The New Fish is a really well written piece of investigative journalism that dives into the farmed salmon and aquaculture industries, their practices, who holds influence over them, and what some people are doing to try and change it. Everyone should know where their food comes from, and with 70 percent of the worlds salmon now coming from farms, it behooves all of us to learn what that means and what impact it has. This book is about farmed salmon, but the tactics used are the same in every industry. Farmed fish, compared to livestock farming, is still in its infancy. It’s interesting to learn how an industry developed so quickly around something no one knew anything about. This is a great read.

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Fiction

The Invention of Wings, by Sue Monk Kidd - The Invention of Wings is a beautifully written piece of historical fiction. Set in Charleston, South Carolina, this books tells the story of a young slave and her reluctant master, a child herself, who are fighting to realize the same dream. Freedom. We picked this book up last winter on a road trip through the south, where the history of slavery retains a permanent place in the local culture. The Invention of Wings will take you on a journey, and bring you front and center to bear witness to the atrocities and injustices that occurred, and continue to shape the lives of so many people today.

Black Dog Escape, by WL Bach - On the surface Black Dog Escape is about a former Navy SEAL fighting the demons of war and trying to make a new life for himself after retiring from combat. But I found there was a lot for non-combat citizens to relate to as well. We all have something that tugs at our happiness, and can bring us into a dark place. As Plato says and WL Bach quotes in the book, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." For the main character, Jack, it’s his war induced PTSD, and for the rest of us it’s the relative trauma we’ve experienced in our lives. I chose to read Black Dog Escape to take a break from all the self-improvement and health related books I’d been immersed in this year. Turns out, this was one of the best self-improvement books I read all year.

My Meditation

I have five forms of meditation that I currently use in my practice. Although if you ask a purist (or my girlfriend) they would likely not consider them meditation at. But they work for me, so, who cares.

1. A mantra. Sitting cross legged on the floor (with or without back support) I breath and repeat to myself: in through the nose, fill up your lungs, out through your mouth, feel it on the lips. In through the nose, fill up your lungs, out through your mouth, feel it on the lips. I repeat this mantra as many times as necessary or until a 10 minutes timer goes off.

2. Reading early in the morning. I’ve found that nothing centers my day like reading for an hour or finishing a chapter in the morning. Sitting down with a book is the first thing I do after getting the morning’s routines (bathroom, coffee, walk the dog) out of the way. I try to do this every morning.

3. Sauna. Sitting cross legged quiet in a sauna puts me into a trance like no other. I like to sit with my thoughts (not meditation I know) or repeat the mantra from above and do some clearing of my mind.

4. Sensory deprivation tank. This isn’t so much a method of meditation but an easy way I find to get into a deep state of calm. I might repeat the mantra above, or I might go through my thoughts trying to bring each one to closure.

5. Thinking in complete sentences. This is one I stole from a Tim Ferriss Show episode, although I can’t recall the episode. Tim was speaking about a friend who told him he meditates by thinking in full sentences. When I heard this it didn’t make much sense right away. But as I began to practice, I realized how often I cut off my own sentences in my mind, and jumped to the next one. This practice has been one of my favorites and has helped me communicate, read, write, think and focus better.

These are my practices and they wouldn’t all (if any) be considered conventional, or formal, meditation, but this is what works for me. Two weeks ago I started working with Sam Harris’ Waking Up App which teaches you how to meditate, plus provides additional mindfulness tools. For a week straight (the free trial period) I woke up with the Waking Up app (😃) and properly meditated for 10 minutes (probably my third or fourth attempt at formal meditation). In that week I learned a lot, and is actually how I developed the mantra above. But I wasn’t ready for the full course, and so I let the trial expire. But I learned something to take into my practices. Which is kind of the point.

The point is your practice (whether it be exercise, reading, writing) needs to work for you. The goal is to find what you like and will engage with, which will require trying different methods and other people’s practices. Then taking the pieces that work for you, and leaving what doesn’t. And incorporating those pieces into your practice, until they no longer serve you.

Don’t worry if it’s not conventional, or if it’s something that no one else does. Practices are highly individualized and change. Your goal is to work on you and that will only happen if you find your path.

A Week of Happiness with Arthur Brooks, Ph.D.

Last week Peter Attia, MD drew me into an episode of The Drive with a title: The Science of Happiness. The podcast guest, Arthur Brooks, Ph.D., was new to me, but I enjoyed their conversation so much that I decided to read one of Dr. Brooks’ books, From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life.

Now contrary to what it may seem like, I actually wasn’t looking for advice on how to be happy and succesful in the second half of my life. I chose this book because it was the most reviewed of the 6 he’s written. And it’s a good thing I did, because as it turns out, according to Dr. Brooks, the sun has already started to set on the first half of my life.

Arthur Brooks starts the clock on the second half of life when fluid intelligence reaches its peak, and begins to decline, which occurs around the same time that crystallized intelligence begins to eclipse fluid intelligence in its abundance. Fluid intelligence, the ability to reason, and think flexibly, peaks on average 20 years after career inception and begins declining between the ages of thirty-five and fifty. Conversely, crystallized intelligence, the ability to use a stock of knowledge, and share accumulated information, continues to increase well past your 60s and remains steady late into life.

It’s hard to admit, but if the science is right, then my days of high performance problem solving are behind me. Which actually correlates to the exact way I’ve been feeling. My inclination lately has been more towards sharing, and away from solving. 

But the former high performer in me had to ask the question: Does fluid intelligence really peak at a certain age, or is the onset of the “decline” a choice (whether consciously or not). Or is it just the age, on average, where you’ve earned enough, worked enough, and problem solved enough to want to begin your descent. I know I felt it after 10 years. I couldn’t imagine 15 or 20. It certainly seems plausible. Research however has shown that there is a correlation between declining fluid intelligence, cortical thickness and regional volume in the brain. Sounds like a chicken or egg situation to me.

Knowing that you’re past your prime is only half the work. The other half involves embracing it. He’s found that many people get caught up in the success and acclaim they find earlier in life, and for those people stuck looking back, it’s more difficult to move forward. Which is the problem with all of change. It’s scary to embrace what’s unfamiliar. 

It doesn’t even have to be something as big as a mid-life realization that your peak years are behind you. It could be a new job. Moving to a new city. Or starting a new hobby. It could be finally committing to taking your website serious and expressing yourself. Scary stuff!

So how do you do it? Figure out what makes you happy and and devoid yourself of everything that doesn’t service it. Or as Simon Sinek puts it:

“To unlock your true potential and happiness, you need to articulate their deep purpose in life and shed the activities that are not in service of that purpose.”

First, Dr. Brooks says, get to “know your tendency, because once you know your tendency you manage your habits.” Practice metacognition, defined as developing an awareness of one’s thoughts and processes and an understanding of the patterns behind them, to maximize your ability to think, learn and evaluate.

A good place to start is this short personality test on his website, which will tell you if you’re one of four personality types: a cheerleader, poet, mad scientist or judge. My girlfriend and I took the test and were frightened, but not surprised, to find we’re both mad scientists (Yikes!).

Then once know your tendency, focus on achieving the three macros to happiness; enjoyment, satisfaction and meaning, not the three macros of nutrition; carbohydrates, protein and fat (and limit your opinions, the number one source of misery according to Dr. Brooks). Simply put, indulge in the things that fill you up, and separate from all the things that don’t.

Next, Make A To Don’t List. Instead of worrying about what you want to add to your life that you think will bring you joy, “Write down the things you do out of habit or obligation,” he says, “even though they lower your spirits.” And then, avoid them. 

Over the years I’ve acquired a similar technique that has helped me focus on what fills me up and avoid what doesn’t. I learned it from a guest (who’s name I can’t recall) on the Tim Ferriss Show. When faced with a yes or no question I ask myself, “is it yes because I want to, or is it yes because I should?” When it’s the latter, my answer is invariably a no (exceptions do apply). It does require practice to be able to discern the difference between the two, but based on a study of one, I’ve found that strict adherence to this rule results in a 10x better life.

The point Dr.s Brooks makes throughout the book, podcast and article are the same. Achieve happiness by getting to know yourself and eliminating what’s not serving your purpose.

I’m a mad scientist. Is that as bad as it sounds? It depends on my mood. In short, my deep emotion produces feelings of exhilaration, drives my work ethic, and makes me deeply curious, but it also leads to unnecessary misery and volatile mood swings at times, which can exhaust friends, family, myself, and my loved one. (She’s hanging on).

To give my tendency a name is new to me, but the resulting emotions and actions are not. Over the last few years I’ve become all too aware of my thoughts, processes and habits, and, as a result, I’ve implemented a number of practices aimed at maintaining homeostasis between the ups and downs. But before I ever knew that, all my efforts to mitigate my tendency were futile.

When I was a kid G.I. Joe’s were very popular. My brother and I used to play with them all the time. They had a saying that I repeat to myself almost daily.

“Now you know, and knowing is half the battle. G.I. Joe!”

Now you know. The other half is up to you.

This is a great book, podcast, and article with Arthur Brooks, Ph.D., and a short video on happiness. Enjoy one. Enjoy all.

Book: From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life, Arthur Brooks, Ph.D.

Podcast: The Science of Happiness, with Arthur Brooks, Ph.D.

Article: Make A To-Don’t List, Arthur Brooks, Ph.D.

Video: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness. (also worth watching)

Be Specific

Details matter.

I’ve found that when I’m very specific about my objectives, the more likely I aim to accomplish them. Here’s a recent example.

I’ve had finalizing my itinerary for my trip to Switzerland on my list of things to work on for over 2 weeks and I haven’t touched it. It’s an enormous under taking in comparison to say building a workout, or writing up a meal idea. It involves research, looking back through photos and apps to piece together our trip and write about it. So instead of working on it, I’ve just kicked it to the side for about 2 weeks and just stared at my to do list: Switzerland Itinerary.

Today I decided I was actually going to work on it. I had enough of putting it off and I wanted to work on something different. I’d been putting a lot of work into everything but the itinerary, so I figured it would be a nice change of pace.

I started working on it as planned. I tried to get everything I had written up already organized. I had started a Scrivener file on it, and I had a bunch of notes stored in my phone, so I began by consolidating everything into the Scrivener file (something I always seem to do).

I created tabs for each leg of the trip (13 in total). Then I started pulling the information I had from my phone into its respective leg. Luzern details into the Luzern folder. Via Alpina: Stage 8 notes into the Via Alpina: Stage 8 folder. And so on.

After that, I went in, starting with Luzern (the first stop on our trip) and organized the notes.

Destination: Luzern

Days/Nights: 3

Restaurants:

Where We Stayed: 

So on and so on. 

Then I stopped, because I had this realization. Maybe if I had been more specific on my to do list I would have actually done some work on it.

To Do: Consolidate all of the trip notes into Scrivener and organize the details based on a set format.

How much more manageable does that sound versus, Switzerland Itinerary. That’s a big project. Whereas the former is a clearly defined plan. Something that sounds doable.

It was just one of those ah ha moments. Like wow I get it.

Anyway, I need to get back to consolidate all of the trip notes into Scrivener and organize the details based on a set format.

Thanks for listening.

Get Up Earlier

Something simple that stuck

There was a period in my mid 20s when I was working long hours and struggling to get my workouts in. By the time I got home from work it was dinner time, and my workouts began to suffer. So I decided to start going to the gym before work, which worked for a while, until I encountered a different problem.

My morning was now rushed, and was adding more stress to already stressful work days.

I was getting up at 5:45 am and rushing to be at the gym at 6 am. Giving myself 2 hours to train, shower, change and be at my desk by 8 am. But it wasn’t working, and I really wasn’t enjoying it.

I was telling this to a friend and he made a very simple and obvious suggestion.

“Why don’t you get up earlier?”

“Why don’t I get up earlier?” Holy shit. You’re right.

Why was I waiting until 5:45 to get up and get out the door? I was embarrassed at how obvious a solution this was and why I hadn’t thought of it. The next day, I changed my routine.

I started waking up at 5 am. With the same goal of being at the gym by 6 am. But now I had a full hour to myself to have my coffee, go to the bathroom, and get my bag, breakfast and lunch ready for the day. The 45 minutes of sleep lost had a negligible impact, and, if anything, the benefits of an extra 45 minutes to get ready in the morning far outweighed the negative effects of sleeping less. Moreover, after a few weeks of getting up earlier, I started going to bed earlier, gaining back my lost sleep.

I feel stupid for even sharing that the idea of getting up earlier was not something I had thought of, and was actually a novel idea to me, but the truth is, it was. I had programmed myself to sleep right up until the point when I needed to get up, and that programming made me miss the simple solution that was right in front of me. “Get up, and give yourself extra time.”

It’s little things like this that I remind myself of constantly to try and figure out what else I might be missing if I just looked through a different lens. 

A Living Document For My Life

A living document of lessons learned from various experiences.

Things That Cooking Has Taught Me.

• You have to make a mess. If you’re not willing to make a mess then you’re not going to be able to create anything. 

Things That Sport Has Taught Me.

• Blood in the water. A racing term when you’re closing in on a competitor in front of you. This is your opportunity. Take it.

• Where do you face? In soccer it means to look in the direction you face, instead of all around you. Usually the best option is right in front of you. In life, what is right in front of you that you’re missing.

• Take the down hill. In racing, to let the momentum and gravity of the descent carry you and conserve your energy. In life, where are you putting in effort that you don’t need to be.

• Race your race. In racing, don’t get caught up in the person racing next to, in front of, or behind you. You have to race the race you trained for. In life, don’t get caught up by all the things people around you have. Focus on your goal and what you came to do.

• Smile. In racing, enjoy the moment. Same as life.

• Anyone can show up for one training session. The key is to show up to all of them. In training, consistency is key. Showing up for one training session doesn’t mean much. Showing up for all of them is where the progress happens. Same as life. Consistency is key. Show up everyday ready to train.

Taking vs Creating Opportunity

Note To Self: Start Creating Opportunities

I’m very good at seizing on opportunities. There aren’t many that have come my way that I didn’t hold onto. My problem however has been my inability to create opportunities. A subtle but very important difference. The difference between taking advantage of opportunities and creating them is the difference between being the CEO and the founder.

The difference is important because realizing your dreams requires creating opportunities for them to happen. That to me is the real definition of success. Creating the opportunities needed to accomplish your dreams. If you can do that, then you can be successful.

Up until this point in my life I’ve been a taker. An opportunity to go to college provided by my mother. An opportunity to work and make money in a family business. With money in my pocket, the opportunity to take time off and figure out what I wanted to do. Yes, every one of these opportunities required work. Graduating college required studying and going to class (sometimes). Working my way up the corporate ladder required sacrificing relationships. But that’s it. I was handed an opportunity to work.

Now, I want to flip that and be the creator of opportunities for myself and others. At this point in my life I’m focused on solving that problem. All I have right now is a strong work ethic, and my knowledge from life lived, which will have to be enough.

Notes on Seeking Out Fitness Advice

Figure Out What Works For You

When it comes to seeking out advice, specifically as it relates to diet and exercise, the thing to keep in mind is the advice you’re getting is based on what works for that person. It will be the rarest of occasions that someone knows what you need and what will work for you. There’s just too many variables for anyone other than yourself to know.

How many hours you work. What your stress levels are. What foods don’t digest well. Which do. What have you tried in the past. How much time you have. How much sleep you get. What’s your quality of sleep. These are all questions that need to be taken into consideration.

And if you are constantly doing what someone else is suggesting, and it doesn’t work, then eventually you’re going to become frustrated. But you don’t have to, because it might just not be your formula. You need to find what works for you through trial and error.

There is no quicker way.

You want to keep trying things and searching for what works. And when something works, stick to it. And when it stops working, start searching again. Things in life change. Your age. Stress level. Sleep quality and quantity. They are all constantly in flux so it’s not uncommon for a diet you liked to stop showing any results. Or a workout routine to all of a sudden feel too easy or too hard. Things change and old methods stop working and you need to find new ones. 

What’s really important to understand is it’s not a process with an end point. It’s the reason people call it a lifestyle, or as Equinox so eloquently puts its, “It’s not fitness. It’s life.” You’re going to need to keep working at it. But the benefit is, the more you work it, the better you’ll be at identifying what you need. And that’s the goal. 

Get to that point where what you need calls out to you.

What Can You Do?

Flipping the script from can’t to can.

So often we focus on what we can’t do without thinking about all the things we can do. And we let this train of thought limit us. For me I’ve been focusing on my inability to run (without pain). 

At the end of 2019 I suffered an injury (while running) and I never let it properly heal. I backed off of running, but I pushed other aspects of my fitness (hiking, cycling and lifting weights) as hard as I ever have to make up for it. The result? 4 years later the injury still impacts me and has affected my ability to run pain free. 

The last time I ran pain free was the day I got injured, just moments before feeling the pop in my Achilles. Since then it’s been labored run after labored run. I started to trail run to ease the impact. It helped, but not enough. No matter what, getting out of bed the morning after a run was always met with terrible pain. But I kept running, even thought I couldn’t do it. 

Part of it was mental. Leading up to the injury I had been racing in endurance events, so being unable to run felt like a loss and I couldn’t help but consistently grieve about it. The other part was physical. Without getting a good long run it I just didn’t feel like I was working.

It took over my life. But I never really looked for alternative. I just kept pounding my head against the running wall. Until recently…

I’ve finally stopped trying to run the way I was. Instead I’ve found or rediscovered activities that I can do instead. Hiking. Walking on a treadmill on a steady incline. The assault bike. Rower. These changes have had tremendous benefits for my overall fitness and mental health.

Physically I’m seeing progress again for the first time in a long time. I feel stronger since I’m no longer in pain, injured and inflamed. I also enjoy the other activities I’m now focused on and it’s given me a wider variety of exercises to get better at.

Mentally I don’t spend all day worrying about my injury and how I’m going to fix it. Stopping to stretch or foam roll in the middle of a conversation or while watching TV. I don’t think about when I’ll be outside running pain free again.

Instead I just focus on what I can do and it’s been healing. 

It’s flipped my mindset out of the victim mentally, choosing instead to worry about the things I can control. It doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about running or that I don’t have goals of ever getting back to running. It just means I’m choosing to focus on the opportunity to do what I’m capable of right now. And to let my body heal. 

What are you focusing on not being able to do? How is it holding you back? What could you do to achieve similar results? How might the latter influence the former?

Finding The Positive

I jacked up my back today at the gym. I felt it when I was doing bent over reverse flyes (a nice exercise). All of a sudden my back got real tight, like it was right about to spasm and I froze. For anyone that’s ever thrown their back out knows there is nothing scarier than that moment. 

All day since, I’ve been worried about my back, weighting for it to go. 

That’s the bad side. 

The positive side is that it made me realize that I have not thought about my back pain in months. Something that used to consume my mind day and night. I injured myself running, never rehabbed the injury, and ended up with 3 years of miserable back and hip pain. By the end, it had basically taken over my life, and it’s only recently begun to subside. 

That’s the good side. It’s been months since I remember being worried about my back, and that’s progress.

So what actually happened to my back? Very rarely does one just wake up and throw their back out. Usually it’s the result of a handful of small errors that lead to it.

I’ve been working out hard everyday (with few exceptions) over the last month. Yesterday I spent too much time on the stair climber at too high of a speed. And today I worked out 4 hours earlier than I usually do. Those three things, coupled with some tough inch worm sets, I believe is what almost put me over the edge today.

My next rest day isn’t until Sunday, so the next few days need to be light.

Happy or Stuck

You either have to be happy or have your back against the wall to be productive. Or both. But if neither of those two things are true. If you’re unhappy and comfortable, then you’re not going to get much accomplished. You need an incentive.

Happiness and joy is a good one. So is needing to survive. That’s why you need at least one.

I’ve fallen into that trap. Having enough, not needing more, but also just feeling mildly content enough to where doing more work felt counter productive. There was an inverse relationship (or so it appeared) between work and return on that work.

Now I’m trying to stir up both. I’m trying to stay happy, while also forcing my back to the wall.

Being Happy

I’ve been happy now for the longest period of my life. And I’m not used to it. I hope that changes over time.

In prior periods of happiness, I just waited for them to end. Because inevitably they did. But this time it’s been different.

I’m not sure if my sustained happiness is because of a change in mindset. Rooting for it to continue instead of waiting for it to end. Or because I’ve begun to find things in my life I’ve been searching for. A partner. A home. A creative outlet.

Either way, I’m wishing it to continue and hope it will. Know it will.