Wasted Time

I think what you realize is that time is actually running out. To be 37 or 45 it feels like you have all the time in the world. And the younger you are the more confident you are that it’s true.

The reality is that the clock is always counting down from the moment you’re born. But that only becomes apparent when you face a life threatening diagnosis. Or someone you love does. Or perhaps it happens naturally with age. I’m only 37 so I don’t know but I assume I’ll find out eventually.

The clock is always counting down is not a morbid view, its motivation to make the most of the time you’re alive. It’s the reason to never waste a minute questioning your wants, dreams, and desires, and instead to just act on them. It’s the reason to love and accept the people in your life unconditionally.

One of the first letters I ever wrote Jen came after one of our first fights (perhaps unsurprisingly). I had been so mad at her and jut a few days later had to leave her to fly home for Christmas. During my flight I wrote her the letter.

I couldn’t believe how much I missed her after being separated for just a few hours. And I couldn’t get over how I had wasted the time before I left being mad. I told her in my letter that I never wanted to waste another minute of our lives being mad at her.

I wish I could say that I kept that promise, but I didn’t. In fact over the last few months there have been a number of times when my anger has gotten the better of me. But reminding myself of that promise, has helped me get over my sore feelings way sooner than I otherwise would have.

In Goodfellas Sonny tells C that the saddest thing in life is wasted talent. I’d have to disagree. The saddest thing in life is wasted time.