The Behavior of Change
Thoughts and download from the week.
Fearfulness is the most common state in a life that asks for no real change.
I’m going to try something new, and see if it works.
I’ve been thinking about something I heard on the podcast episode I shared last week. That is the idea that you can be happy, love yourself, and also be ruthlessly ambitious enough to accomplish your goals.
Elizabeth Gilbert tells a quick story about a guy who didn’t want to try her letters of love exercise because he thought it would make him weak. He thought that by showing himself love and compassion he would lose his drive, that chip on his shoulder, that he believed was the driving force behind his success.
I’ve feel that way too. Not necessarily in loving myself, although I could definitely benefit from more of that. But in my inability to take my foot off the gas. I hold this belief that if I slow down in any part of my life, that it’s going to create a ripple effect throughout every part of my life and ultimately lead to my demise.
If I watch too much TV, or eat something I shouldn’t, skip a day of exercise, or don’t have a book I’m actively reading, that it’s going to be the beginning of the end of my dreams. That I’m going to slowly descend into some useless human being, incapable of anything.
But in reality the opposite is actually true. It’s the times when I’ve taken my foot off the gas that I’ve felt the best. It’s when my mind is clearest and my body feels most aligned, fit, and capable. And by contrast, when I’ve continued to push it, despite all of the signs from my mind, brain fog and agitation, and body, fatigue and pain, is when I accomplish the least, regardless of the fact that I’m doing the most.
So, to hear her tell this story really resonated with me, and I think it also ties well into a recent insight I had while my buddy was visiting me.
Almost a year ago my buddy got laid off. It was completely unexpected. When he called me to tell me I was in shock, and at a loss for words. He had worked for this company for at least as long as I’ve know him, going on six years, and he’s one of the smartest, most ambitious, experienced, and well educated friends I have. He is also, not surprisingly, Type A.
So in the year since his layoff he’s been busy trying to find a new job. But, through no fault of his own, he’s been unable to land one. So during his visit I asked him, “in retrospect, knowing now that you’d be 12 months out of having a job, and still looking, would you have spent the last 12 months doing anything differently? Would you have given yourself a break, eased off the pressure you’ve been putting on yourself, and enjoyed your time more, rather than staying busy?”
I asked him this question because it’s a question that I have wrestled with many times since leaving my well paying and rewarding, albeit stressful, job 6 years ago. And I still wrestle with it today. But hearing about his situation made me once again reassess my own.
I could tell he didn’t like the question, and it made him uncomfortable because it forced him to question how he has been spending my time. Something I always question when it comes to my own life. But it’s an important question because it highlights the stress we put on ourselves as humans to be successful, even when nothing is wrong. It very much echoes the message that Robert M. Sapolsky tries to convey in Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, and the message Boyd Varty shares in The Lion Trackers Guide to Life when he says, “no wild animal has ever taken part in a should.”
My friend and I are in the same situation in some respects, at least a it relates to the quality of our lives. Other than not having a job, and a steady income, not much has changed. We still eat the food we want to eat, live where we want, travel, have a roof over our head, a car to drive. For all intents and purposes, life is good. Yet we’re applying this relentless pressure to figure it out, not now, but yesterday.
The question of fulfillment and purpose always seems to come up, and with good reason. Figuring out how to spend your days when you have no “work” to go to can be difficult. It took me about two years to feel comfortable with it. But I’ve learned how to enjoy my days without work. I’ve settled into a good rhythm of activities that include exercise, reading, writing, volunteering, cooking, and now gardening, that I enjoy and keep me happy. I love my days.
But, despite that, the pressure is still on. I continue to pressure myself every day to figure it out, and work really hard to do so. That’s been my mentality for 6 years, and still, I haven’t figured it out. So maybe it’s time for a new approach. Back to Elizabeth Gilbert’s story.
What if instead of forcing myself to work and figure it out, I took the opposite approach. What if I fucked off when I wanted to fuck off. Watched TV during the day. Smoked weed when I wanted to smoke. Skipped workouts, and indulged in desserts when they called to me. What if I stayed up late, and slept in past the sunrise. Perhaps that’s been the problem. Perhaps that’s the love she speaks about that I’ve been denying myself, and it’s the reason I haven’t figured it out yet. Perhaps allowing myself that love, or level of comfort, rather than hindering my performance, like I believe it would, could be the catalyst to drive success.
In Tools of Titans Tim Ferriss talks about trying something new for 48 hours. He says, try it, and if it doesn’t work, you can always go back to your old ways. That same principle is something I’d been using even before reading his book. But hearing it from him has reinforced its practicality. So, that’s what I’m going to do.
Beth Lewis said in our class recently, “you can’t crush the gym, and life.” It’s true, and I’ve been trying to crush everything in my path. For once I’m going to take the opposite approach, and see where it takes me. Here’s to a new more lethargic way of being.
Informative podcast on chronic health in America, and the issues we face to fix it.
Joe Rogan #2210 - with Calley Means and Casey Means, MD - I don’t like listening to Calley Means. He’s a former political strategist and lobbyist for companies such as coco-cola. So I’ve ignored listening to anything he’s a part of, and it’s the reason I haven’t reads the book he co-wrote with his sister, Casey Means, MD, despite being very interested in what she has to say. I like Casey. She is one of the founders of Levels, the company I purchased my glucose monitor from earlier this year to experiment with. She’s a physician, a head and neck surgeon that left conventional healthcare to start her company and address the growing issue of metabolic health in this country, the root cause of most chronic disease. Metabolic disease is associated with mitochondrial dysfunction, and it’s believed that ultra-processed food, pesticides, plastics, and other toxins in our environment, in addition to the sedentary lifestyle most people live, is the cause of it. Levels, her company, is trying to change that. And after spending time on the dark side her brother is too.
Recently Casey and Calley were part of a panel of experts that included people like Jillian Michaels (her testimony is much see stuff), Max Lugavere, and Brigham Buehler, who testified in front of congress to sound the alarm about the growing health epidemic in this country and, more importantly, the cause of it.
I’m glad I put my dislike for Calley aside and listened to this one, because I learned a lot, and, the reality is, good on him for trying change the system.
I found this quote from Casey Means to be the most notable:
“Ultra-processed food is dead food” - Casey Means
Ultra-processed food, food that is stripped of all it’s nutrients and filled with harmful ingredients, now make up 70 percent of the calories consumed in this country. Casey nailed it with that quote. Far too many people are eating nutrition less food, and it’s a big part of the problem.
Book I’m Reading - Wildlife Wars
I picked this book up from one of the “free libraries” you see on the street. That was probably over a year ago but I just started reading it recently. I’m more than a third of the way through now, but these lines from the introduction had me reeled in from the jump. I would listen to anyone’s story who has the type of mind that sees the world in this way. It’s a great book, and Richard Leakey provides a great example of what being a leader should look like. One in which integrity and morals are not compromised.
From the introduction:
“Conservation of biodiversity may be a global imperative, but eating one cooked meal a day and drinking clean water are more basic to the survival of most of the world's population. Protecting elephants and conserving natural ecosystems remain my personal priorities. But I am not so sure this would be so were I ill, hungry, and living in despair. I enjoy fresh air, sunshine, and crisp starlit nights. I do so, however, knowing full well that when I need it I can find shelter. We must somehow find a way to provide for our own species if we are also to preserve others.”
“Clean air, clean water, plentiful forests, and a human population that is well fed, educated, and reasonably affluent is our goal in Kenya. Saving the elephants is symbolic—a means to achieve these greater objectives.”
This Weeks Harvest
Growing season is coming to an end but that doesn’t mean there isn’t abundance in our garden. In fact, a lot of our vegetable plants, especially our tomatoes, are thriving right now in the cooler Colorado temperatures. This week I spent a couple of days harvesting some vegetables, cleaning, and cooking them. Here are a few pictures of the haul.
Quarter Share Cow
Shout out to Lazy Acres Ranch and Butcher. This past week I picked up my quarter share of cow from them, and I got to it right away cooking up some of the goodness they supplied me with. The ribeye pictured below was particularly tasty, but the beef short ribs were out of this world. They were so good my girlfriend who is a reformed vegan that still struggles with eating meat ate two with her dinner. Here’s the recipe I used. Super basic and super tasty. I didn’t have fresh rosemary so I used some other dried herbs in my cabinet, and I used chopped white onion in place of onion powder. The ribs were melt in your mouth delicious.
$1,250 for 100 lbs of pastured raised beef that comes from a ranch 2 hours away. I bought a freezer for just this purpose, and now I get to walk into my garage and pick out whatever cuts I want. It’s a beautiful thing.
Trail Run
Parmalee, Devil's Elbow and Castle Trail
Miles - 5.2
Elevation gain - 889 ft
This was my favorite trail run since moving to Colorado. Mostly single track, with plenty of tree coverage, and challenging elevation at points. The parking was easy and the trail wasn’t overly crowded at 10 am on a Wednesday. I also enjoyed not seeing one cyclist. Of all the trails I’ve run so far, this is one that I could see myself repeating again and again.
