RFK Jr can’t MAHA if he doesn’t fight to feed them

The thing I’m most curious about is what is RFK Jr and his MAHA movement doing right now while the government has stopped funding SNAP. Food is the most essential part of good health and yet the administration that brought you Make America Healthy Again is openly and freely taking food off the table of millions of Americans in order to squeeze the Democrats into accepting their budget terms which include cutting funding to subsidized health insurance.

I can’t say that I didn’t expect this from Donald Trump and his cronies, but I will admit I was fooled by RFK Jr. I actually believed that he understood what it would take to make American’s healthier and I actually believed that he would put up a fight to make it happen. Instead all I’ve read about him is that he’s working on removing some dyes from processed food while still allowing the trash that is processed food to be manufactured and sold, he’s revised the vaccine schedule, and now he’s on a crusade to change the perception of saturated fats.

Maybe all of those things hold a place in getting American’s healthy, but none of them matter at all if people don’t have food to eat, and affordable (should be free) health insurance to not only take care of them when they fall ill but make sure that they don’t go into bankruptcy at the same time (the stress of which creates a whole new set of illness). But it’s clear that RFK Jr., Donald Trump, and anyone else in the administration is not actually concerned about it.

I’ve been thinking recently about how it just takes one bold person, and a few bold people that are willing to go out on a limb to support him/her to make change, and yet it seems that at every turn we have nothing but cowards and selfishly greedy people directing the future. Mamdani is an example of someone who is bold and who is willing to put himself out there. The fact that he won so easily when both the right and the left were so adamant he can’t win says a lot.

It says that people are waking up to the fact that none of the career politicians have our best interests at heart. They are only interested in doing the bare minimum to get re-elected, maintain power, and continue to line their pockets. But the more they squeeze the every day person the more the every day people are going to come together and seek real genuine change like Mamdani is offering NYC. While the current administration is cutting off FOOD benefits to millions, the majority of people in NYC voted for the guy who wants to open government funded grocery stores.

It’s clear what the people want and perhaps the people are finally starting to realize they hold the power and the only way they’ll secure their future is by coming together and voting for something new.

It blows my mind how our government lets people go hungry

It's so fucking dumb that we live in a country where there are organizations fighting to end hunger while our government is simultaneously starving people. We all support these organizations fighting to feed people pretending like it's ok that millions of people in this country fail to get their daily nourishment, and like it’s normal that this responsibility falls on the shoulders of everyone but the organization we pay trillions in dollars to. The government.

It blows my mind how easily we all turn a blind eye and pretend like its ok. Like its normal. Like all the money we choose to spend on wars, destruction, and to further line peoples pockets instead of helping people is just the way it is. Why? Why do we pretend like it is? Why do we pretend like it's just the way it has to be.

I read a few articles about Zohran Mamdani and his ideas for NYC. I didn't think any of them were crazy. Raising the minimum wage to something livable, where people would only have to work one job to have a life. Funding groceries stores with tax dollars so everyone can eat. Freezing rents for people living in rent controlled apartments. All these things to help the people that are struggling and the response I heard from the people who's taxes would increase is I'm going to leave the city. Business is going to leave the city.

Rather than being part of something historic, like giving people a break, people and businesses are like no we're just going to leave, and then what will you do? How shitty of a person do you have to be for that to be your stance? You're a millionaire, a billionaire, and rather than fork some more money into the pot you want to leave to prove a point and drain the city.

People are sometimes shitty. But I'm glad that the majority are waking up to that realization. As the divide grows bigger so does the number of people who are struggling and who are realizing that they have to band together to pass laws and protect themselves. That they need to stop pretending like living in the richest country in the world and not having anything to eat, anywhere to live, is ok.

That's what the election of a Democratic Socialist in New York City says, and that's what the overwhelming support of propositions in Colorado to support free school meals for kids k-12 says. That we're sick of all you, and we're going to come for what we deserve.

1 percent rejoice, 99 percent starve

Two headlines appeared in my news feed today. The stock market hit all time highs, while the most vulnerable portion of our population is in danger of losing their food benefits. How could those two things be true at the same time? How could a small but powerful percentage of our population be celebrating, while the large and vulnerable percentage of our population is no doubt riddled with fear and anxiety? What does that say about the direction, or current state, of our country?

I read the other day that 50 percent of the spending in this country is from 10 percent of the population. Let that sink in. How sustainable of a situation is that when 10 percent of the population is propping up the economy? What could possibly go wrong?

On my local ballot for this election period is two questions. One, do you agree to let the state keep excess tax collected above projections to pay for food for children in the upcoming year. Two, do you agree we should raise taxes on households making more than $300,000 to fund food for children in the years to come? And I'm torn on the second one.

While I want every kid in this state, in every state across the country and the world, to have all their meals for free, I struggle with the idea of raising taxes to pay for it when I know how misallocated billions and trillions of tax dollars already are. Funding foreign wars in the last 2 – 3 years alone has cost of over $250 billion as a nation. The proposal to bail out Argentina could cost us another $30 billion.

We already have the money to feed everyone in this country but time and time again we choose not to, and instead fund destructive wars, or provide aid to everyone but our own. And every year its a question of whether or not we can pay for safety net program like SNAP, like Medicaid.

So how do I continue to vote to raise taxes when I know that at some point down the line, even if this ballot measure passes and funds school meals for now, it will eventually be used for something malevolent. It's a shitty and maddening position to be in. And they know that. That's why the opposition to the measure isn't to reallocate funds away from wars and corporate greed. The opposition is: taxes bad.

And I agree, new taxes are bad. But in this case not providing meals to children is far worse and I figure I'll let someone else figure out why we're pissing our money away to foreign countries for purposes of destruction and corruption instead of actually helping them. And in the interim I'll vote yes to raise taxes and feed children.

Warming Back Up…

After almost 10 days of backpacking and camping I’m finally getting back into my routines. I found it extremely difficult to write consistently and have complete thoughts while I was moving around and out of my element. These undeveloped thoughts are proof my brain is trying to settle back in…

“I don’t think there’s ever a right time to do something, but I do think there is a wrong time.”

Being Different

It’s really hard to do something different when everyone around you acts as one. You feel like what you want to do must be wrong, because if it wasn’t, everyone else would be doing it too. So it creates doubt in your mind, and gives credence to the resistance. Push on anyway. Believe that you’ll make believers of the doubters, and leave behind the resistors.

Try Something New

There isn’t one thing in this world that you can’t get better at through repetition. Even if you’re not trying to improve, the mere act of performing a task over and over will yield better results each time. Just by practicing, you’ll be better than before. It doesn’t mean you’ll be the greatest, world renowned, or the subject matter expert in your field, but you can improve just by trying. The only reason we’re not any good at something is because we haven’t tried enough. We tried, got poor results or feedback, and stopped. The only reason we’re scared of trying something new is because we’ve never done it before. New equals change, which equals scary. But think back to something that you had to do, even though maybe you didn’t want to. Like starting a new job or getting promoted into a new role. Moving somewhere new and unfamiliar. The first time you showed up for a class. Then think about how over time, with repetition, all of those things got easier, and you forgot about the anxiety and resistance you felt. Repetition gives way to confidence, and confidence washes away anxiety.

Everybody has some arena in their life where they’re comfortable throwing caution to the wind and trying something new. For me, it’s exercise. I’ve been exercising for over 20 years, so when a new physical challenge presents itself, I have zero hesitation in throwing myself into the fire. Two decades of experience has made it easy for me to take chances, and given me the confidence to know that I can and will perform. For my fiancee, it’s anything that has to do with gardening, growing vegetables and flowers. She’s been at it for 30 years, so she has no hesitation in planting something here, just to move it over there. Or seeding something she’s never grown before. Or planting something just because there was an empty spot. Three decades of experience has given her the confidence to know that she’ll figure it out, and the insight to know that even if she doesn’t, life goes on. The key is to trick yourself into carrying that mindset into unfamiliar ground, when trying something new that feels uncomfortable. To somehow look back on the beginning of your journey, whether that’s exercise for me or growing for Jen, and remember that at one time that was new and scary, and now it’s the thing you love.

Create A Mess

To make something beautiful in life requires a willingness to make a mess. And I think cooking provides the best example of this. If you’ve ever tried to cook while keeping a clean kitchen, then you know what an impossible and unfulfilling task that is. I cooked that way for many years before finally surrendering to the mess, and I’ve tried to carry that same surrender into other parts of my life. Surrendering required understanding that a mess was unavoidable, knowing that I could clean it up, and a belief that, despite what it looks like, something worthwhile would come out of the other side.

Rest When You’re Tired

As a society there’s a taboo around being tired. You’re not allowed. That’s one of the reasons why drinking is so popular. So many times I’ve heard people say, “I’ll rally once I start drinking,” or “I’ll be fine once I have a drink.” That’s why drugs and energy drinks are so popular, because the feeling of being tired is unacceptable in our culture, and looked down upon, and is therefore met with aggressive resistance. Meanwhile, the only thing that cures tired is good sleep, and anything else, like drinking, drugs, energy drinks, and caffeine, just prevent good sleep and further deepen the hole, creating the desire to reach for more drinks, drugs, energy, and caffeine. It’s ok to have a long day, a long week, a tough month, and just be tired. Tired is not a form of weakness, something to hide from, or put a mask on, or be ashamed of. We all feel tired from time to time. And when we’re tired, we should just be tired, and get some rest.

Space and Reflection

Going away is important because it’s the only time I remember all of the things I’ve been meaning to do. As the trip gets closer, everything comes rushing back to me. I didn’t hang the heart or the mermaid, or the tree lights in the basement. I didn’t set up the soaker hose. I didn’t book a campsite for our trip next week. As the prospect of getting away creates space in my mind, things that were buried away coming charging to the surface.

I also start reflecting more. Reflecting on my relationships. What’s going well? What can be better? How can I improve? Reflecting on my place in the universe. What’s going well? What can be better? How can I improve? That’s the real luxury of getting away and escaping the daily grind. It’s not the fancy hotel on the beach, or the one of a kind rental in the heart of the city. It’s not the all you can eat buffet, or the street food market. It’s not the sun, or the shopping, or any of that stuff. Although those things can all be nice. The value is in a trip’s ability to create space for new thoughts. That’s the luxury.

It’s doesn’t matter how happy I am, or how well I think my life is going. The moment I start preparing to go away, a more accurate picture of my life starts to appear. Things I’m doing that I don’t want to be doing. Things I’m not doing that I do want to be doing. Things I want to do more of. Things I want to be paying attention to but I keep getting distracted from.

Reflection is really important, but it’s really hard to do when you’re knee deep in it, day in and day out, without a break. Reflection requires being able to step away for a moment, or moments, in time. And if you don’t have that ability, or access to that space, then it can be a very hard place to be. And I can’t help but think that that has played a major role in the decline of mental and physical health in this country. Most people are grinding away just to keep their heads above water, and never get that time to ask, “What’s going well? What isn’t?” 

Healthcare, MAHA, MAGA

I went to urgent care yesterday with an infected bug bite. While I was waiting to be seen a man walked in with his daughter. She couldn’t have been older than 10. He complained of some rash or bites that they both had, and gave the receptionist their information, including insurance. Five minutes later the receptionist called him back up and informed him that his insurance was ok, but his daughter’s Medicaid hap lapsed, and she was no longer covered. So he had three options. Pay out of pocket, easily $200, which was not an option for him and is probably not an option for many people on Medicaid. Call Medicaid and see if they could reinstate her in time for the visit. Or go to the emergency room where they would have to treat her regardless of insurance.

This is the country we live in. This is the healthcare system we have. Where a child can be denied treatment because of a lapse in coverage, likely for some asinine reason like incomplete paperwork that needs to be resubmitted regularly, sometimes as much as quarterly depending on the benefit. A constant re-verification of eligibility to make sure no one is cheating the system. When you see or hear about an adult being denied treatment or not having insurance, or about the millions of people without coverage, it doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t feel right. But when you see a child in the flesh being denied treatment, and being told no, it stings in a whole different way.

The question that keeps coming back to me over and over again is: “What the fuck is wrong with us? Why do we allow this type of nonsense to take place? Why do we accept it as just the way it is? Why are more people not outraged?!” It makes me insane. The current administration ran with a new movement called MAHA. Make America Healthy Again, led by RFK, Jr. To my knowledge the only thing they have done is reduced the number of mandatory vaccines for children, and maybe banned a toxic ingredient or two from being allowed into our foods. And at the MAGA level all they have done is reduced funding for SNAP and Medicaid, and made it more difficult for Americans to receive these benefits. Likely resulting in millions of Americans losing their health insurance and creating millions more food insecure homes. Limiting access to food and healthcare, two things that should be our right as humans, and two vital components of health, is a very clear indication that the administration has no real interest in making Americans healthy. 

It was all just another charade. Charade, after charade, after charade, is what we get, while children are denied access to healthcare. It is an insane and sick country that we are living in, and I don’t see how it ever changes unless the whole system is upended or the whole system collapses. And unfortunately it seems that far too many of us are content to let it slowly burn down around us, instead of demanding the change we know we need. One day we’ll all look back and wonder how we didn’t see it coming.

Influence and Intuition

It’s ok to listen to experts and influencers, journalists and news anchors, politicians and CEOs, as long as you understand that what they’re saying is just a suggestion. It doesn’t matter how they say it, and who it is that says it. It is only a suggestion, an opinion, one perspective, and you need to digest it, then decide how you feel about it.

If the experts say the key to longevity is intermittent fasting, which requires skipping breakfast, but breakfast if your favorite meal of the day, and fasting until lunch feels like torture, then eat breakfast. Intermittent fasting is not for you. It doesn’t matter what anyone says. It doesn’t work for you. Breakfast does.

If the president says that we must support war against terrorists, and the media says it is a necessary war, but the war is actually the murdering, starving, and maiming of innocent men, women, and children, and you think murdering, starving, and maiming innocent men, women, and children is not ok, then it doesn’t matter what the news or president tells you. It’s bad, you know it. You don’t need anyone to tell you that you should oppose it.

We’re so weird in our proclivity as humans to constantly defer to appointed experts, politicians, and anyone on TV, and dismiss what we think. We hold these people in such high regard, as if they have access to information and knowledge that would make skipping breakfast feel ok, or supporting unjust war acceptable. But we know just as much as anyone, and nothing can make that uneasy feeling go away.

When UnitedHealth Group (UHG) took over the company I was working for, many of my colleagues at the executive level expected UHG to have a team of geniuses who would swoop in and fix all of our problems. They spoke about it openly. And when that didn’t happen, and we learned that the people who worked there were no smarter than any of us, and that they didn’t have any magical solutions, my colleagues were genuinely surprised and disappointed. But I was not. I never understood why or how working for a larger company would make them more intelligent and capable. Turns out, they weren’t.

With very few exceptions in this world (yes, there are real geniuses), we are all born of the fairly same level of intelligence. And it is only experience and the environment we grow up in that begins to separate us. But our intuition, that feeling we get that says “something ain’t right,” or “I really want to do that,” is something we are all born with, and never goes away. So when you hear something that doesn’t make sense, or you try something you saw on TV or heard on a podcast, and it doesn’t feel right, go with that feeling. You are not wrong. Do not doubt yourself. You know more than you think, and a lot more than they want you believe. Have trust in yourself.

That goes for me and this site as well. This website is just a collection of beliefs, perspectives, routines, and resources that work for me. But I encourage you to do what you want. If something I say resonates, great, go with it. If you try something I suggest and it doesn’t work, stop doing it. Everyone is unique. Everyone knows what works for them and what doesn’t. What they feel deep in their bones. The secret to success and happiness is finding what works for you, and the best way to find out is by listening to yourself, and taking what other say with a grain of salt.

Manipulating Language

The most dangerous weapon isn’t developed in a lab or manufactured at a plant. It is the misuse of language with the intention of influencing our behavior, our decisions, and our beliefs. Language is something we take for granted. We take what is said at face value, never really looking past the spoken or written words to determine what is actually being said. But it plays a huge role in shaping our lives. Two vastly different, but related and relevant examples come to mind.

When we think of a weed, we picture an unwanted guest. A pest. Something that if left unaddressed, will take over. A garden filled with weeds is an unpleasant and messy visual. One that might indicate laziness, or bring embarrassment or shame from your neighbors. But really, isn’t a weed just a plant that has figured out how to grow and survive in any condition without the need for human interventions like watering, pruning, and fertilizing, or the careful placement for just the right amount of sunlight?

By framing a weed as an invasive and unwanted pest with no place in your garden, instead of just a plant, makes it easy to rationalize killing them. Whether that be by force (pulling), fire (blow torch), or poison (like Roundup). I see people all around my neighborhood wearing gloves, and sometimes masks, to protect themselves while they spray Roundup around their property. The desire to kill weeds, programmed in us over decades, outweighs the innate knowledge within us that spraying poison is a bad idea. If you don’t want it on your skin or in your lungs, then why use it at all? Because weeds are pests, and pests need to go.

An illegal immigrant is the human version of a weed. An unwanted and unruly pest that just keeps popping up. Placing the word illegal in front of the word immigrant immediately turns a human seeking refuge and a better way of life into an outlaw with no regard for the rules, and makes it seem more likely that they will commit other illegal acts again in the future. An illegal immigrant sounds dangerous and ruthless. Someone with a checkered past from a sketchy place. But when compared to just an immigrant, what’s the actual difference?

Usually nothing. In both cases, the illegal immigrant and the immigrant fled their country to escape poverty, famine, war, or persecution, maybe all four, and came to this country, or any country, in search of a better life. They both traveled long and far to put themselves and their family in a better position to survive and prosper. Two people from the same town, in the same country, fleeing for the same reasons, and one is illegal, and the other legal, all because of how they got here, and whether or not they received the correct permissions or paperwork. But otherwise they are the same.

Maybe one had the means to get the correct permissions and the other didn’t. Maybe one had the time to wait for the paperwork to come through, and the other person’s situation was so dire that they couldn’t afford to wait or else it might cost them, and their families, their life. There is no difference really. But there is a difference in how we view and accept each of them based on their designation as illegal or legal.

By using the word illegal it makes it easier to accept mistreating them. By using the word illegal it makes it easier to rally support for waging war against them, and the country they came from, and forcing them to leave. And it makes it easier to convince us that we need to spend hundreds of millions and billions of dollars to fix the illegal immigration problem. Money that could have been spent fixing our own communities, instead being spent to round people up and kick them out, when all they wanted to do was come here and work.

In college I once didn’t take a job because I had to explain three different types of butters to the tables I would’ve been waiting on. That’s embarrassing to admit. But these people are willing to put their lives in danger, walking thousands of miles across dangerous terrain and through treacherous jungle, to come here, all because the danger they are trying to escape is greater. And when they get here we tell them no thank you, you did it the wrong way. Go back. Try again. We call ourselves a democratic capitalist society based on meritocracy, but that only applies when we approve of how you’ve come to be here. It doesn’t matter if you’re willing to work longer and hard than the people who are born here (like me).

I say all this, and I realize that the war on illegal immigrants is just as much a facade as it is real. Yes, there are thousands of people actually being detained, arrested, put in jail, or deported. But it’s mostly an act, because the same people who claim to want to close the border and send illegal immigrants back to their home countries, are the same people whose fortunes were built on the exploitation of their cheap labor, and who’s every day lives depends on their presence here. So it’s also just a facade to draw our eyes away from the real tragedies gripping our communities that continue to go unaddressed. 

If we’re focused on illegal immigrants, and worried about how they’re infiltrating our country, then we can all rally around illegals as the enemy, and we forget that nothing else is actually getting done. Look around your community and think about what the actual issues are facing you and your neighbors. In my community food insecurity and food deserts are a huge problem. Opioid addiction, substance abuse, and homelessness is another one. Pollution, radiation exposure, and degradation of the land is causing chronic diseases. An aging population who can’t get the help or care they need to maintain an active and productive life. Military veterans either handicapped or traumatized by their experiences without access to resources to get better. That’s what I look around and see, and illegal immigrants have nothing to do with any of it.

Language has always been used to shape the conversations we’re having and influence our beliefs. It is the most deadly weapon in the arsenal because language is what is used to convince us that what we’re seeing and feeling is not actually so. Designating a plant a weed is rationalizes the use of poison around our houses to kill it. Designating a human as illegal rationalizes why they shouldn’t have any rights and don’t belong in this country. Understanding the weaponization of language and it’s impact on our communities is the battle that determines all of the other battles, and it’s the most important one to be aware of.

Hard Work

Is it hard word because it’s hard work? Or is it hard work because when you start out you don’t know what the fuck you are doing? That’s the question. If it’s the latter, that means that you can make things easier with experience, but, you have to try, and continue to try, and try again, most likely unsuccessfully, until you finally figure it out. But that’s only when you really want it. Otherwise, it’s hard work and leave it at that. 

Time

I think the most important lesson in life is a confusing one. Life is short, but you have time. If you rush, you’ll miss it. It’s taken me almost 40 years to figure it out. I spent far too many years jumping from one thing to the next, afraid that if I spent too much time on one thing, I’ll never get everything I want done. But now my approach is different. I understand that life offers us limited time to accomplish what we want, but I also know that you need to slow down to see all the beauty around you, and that if you want to create something you can’t rush it.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, it was built over centuries. Billion and trillion dollar companies started from nothing before becoming the market dominating behemoths we know them as. Successful careers can start in the mailroom and span decades before reaching the c-suite. Works of art can take days, months, years, decades, and even centuries to complete, and even longer to receive recognition.

La Segrada Familia in Spain, which was started in 1882, and is still incomplete, offers a great example of this principle. It’s been over 100 years since it’s inception, and it is still not complete today. And yet nearly everyone that visits Barcelona goes to see it in its current unfinished form. It’s a reminder that beauty and craftsmanship are not just visible in a finished product, they are present in works in progress.

It’s easy to feel like time is running out and you need to pick up the pace if you’re ever going to accomplish anything. But it doesn’t have to be. There’s time to think, to observe, to plan, to enjoy, to acknowledge, to appreciate, to love, to support, and to embrace. And there is time to accomplish what you want. There is time for everything, but you have to make time for it.

Where to Invest

I wonder if it’s possible to ever really achieve happiness if you never invest in yourself. I don’t know whether that’s true or not, but what I do know is that the more I invest in myself the happier I feel. I’m also amazed at how many years I’ve spent investing in other peoples dreams, ideas, and interests, thinking that it would make me happy, when in reality I was just serving someone else. And I’m not saying invest like you would in a 401k, or in real estate, or in anything with a tangible ROI, although that could be part of your plan as well. I just mean investing in the things that arouse your interest and help you to grow.

It amazes me how often in my life I’ve talked myself off the ledge of diving into something I really wanted to do, and all of the excuses I could come up with. Time and money have always been the main reasons why I couldn’t do something, even if time and money were actually not an obstacle. Fear of the unknown and inexperience when it came to trying something new was another one. The perception others had was a distant third. But when it came to investing in other people, whether that was through long hours working, or helping fund a project, for some reasons those excuses never came up. In those situations there was no restrictions.

It wasn’t until I left work that I put this all together. That the key to success is investing in yourself. That the key to investing in yourself is having confidence in yourself. That was the main difference. When it came to others and their established and proven plans, it was easy to hop on board. But when it came to my silly interests or big ideas, they didn’t seem possible or necessary to pursue. Especially when other people had already rolled out a path I could follow.

Like, I wanted to take an introduction to writing class with a local writers workshop, but taking a class meant calling myself a writer, which felt uncomfortable, so I tried to talk myself out of it. I told myself that my writing wasn’t good enough to put in front of other people in in person (read as: I was afraid to receive criticism). And, the class wasn’t cheap. Did I really need to spend money on something that was just a hobby with no promise of financial return? I succeeded in making it too big of a commitment of time, money, and emotion, and put it on the back burner.

But a few weeks later I selected at random a video from Devotion to Writing on YouTube. The video spoke about how important it is for a new writer to surround themselves with a community of writers who understand what they are trying to do. I took it as a sign that I needed to take this class. So, I did. After 4 weeks of class I no longer felt silly about calling myself a writer. I felt accomplished and proud. I learned a lot about writing, but more importantly I grew as a result of my participation in the class, and I have been able to carry that growth into other parts of my life.

Similarly, a few months ago I started a kettlebell class with movement specialist Beth Lewis. Learning how to properly and effectively use kettlebells in my workouts has been a goal of mine for years, and the instruction from this class has got me as close to that goal as I’ve ever been. So when she announced a new bodyweight class over the summer, I really wanted take it, but I was hesitant and, again, tried to talk myself out of it.

The usual excuses were at play. Again, cost was a consideration. Don’t I already know bodyweight exercises? Do I need to pay for something I know? Do I want to make another time commitment? The class is Sunday mornings, and kettlebells is Saturday mornings, which meant weekend mornings were shot. And two exercise classes meant two less days of doing the workouts I want. It meant losing my flexibility. There was good reason it seemed to skip it.

But I kept thinking about the opportunity I had to learn from a master, and I kept telling myself this wasn’t just an exercise class, but an investment in myself. Like the writing class, there might not have been a guaranteed financial return in the future, but I knew the lessons learned would expand my knowledge and help me grow. So, ultimately I pulled the trigger, and based on our first class this past Sunday, I know I made the right decision. 

But it does also mean investing from a financial perspective. I’ve had an idea for a mobile app for 7 years now. And for all those years I let it sit because it seemed crazy to invest in. I wasn’t confident I could bring it to life, and I couldn’t envision it’s success, so I couldn’t convince myself to put any money or time into it. The fear of investing in something that goes belly up outweighed the desire to do it. So, instead I let it just bounce around my head and taunt me.

But this year I finally made the move. In part because I heard someone say, “The ideas that never leave you are the ones I like to work on.” Hearing that gave me a push. I realized that if this idea stuck with my for 7 years, that it was unlikely to ever leave me unless I gave it a shot. Plus, I was finally feeling settled in my life, had the support of my partner, and was a year deep into pushing the idea of investing in myself. So, I hired a development company, and took two steps towards developing a limited product that would at least test the viability of the idea. I invested only what I could afford, and only what I would be ok with losing.

I’m expecting the final product in a couple of weeks. I have no idea if it will be successful, how much more work or money it’s going to take, but now that I’ve gotten this far, I can’t picture having never taking this chance. What fascinates me is how the script has flipped, and not trying seems like the crazy thing. Regardless of the success or failure of the idea, I’ve learned that I can be someone who brings an idea to life. And that is way more valuable than any financial return.

Do you have an idea you’ve been kicking around for awhile? A class you want to take? A skill you want to learn? A language you want to master? Somewhere you have always wanted to go? Do you tell yourself it’s stupid, expensive, time consuming, and no guaranteed return, so what’s the point? A lot of times we get a calling to do something, try something, or go somewhere, and it’s not immediately clear why or how it’s going to benefit us, so we make excuses and ignore it, and wait for clear instruction. But just because it isn’t clear, doesn’t mean there’s not a reason it came to you. You have to just do it, and trust that the reason will reveal itself, and that you’ll get something out of it you never expected.

I’ve realized that for most of my life I’ve been living a scarcity mindset. Just trying to keep the nuts I’ve gathered buried and safe for as long as I can. But I wasn’t happy, and success, true success, felt like it was eluding me. I wasn’t sad or depressed, not clinically anyway, but I wasn’t excited about the future. Now that I’m investing in myself, the future feels promising, and I know that the growth I experience will lead to confidence, and confidence will take me the rest of the way.

Invest in yourself.  

Failure

There is only one type of failure, and that is not trying. Everything else is an attempt, and it doesn’t matter the outcome. Each attempt represents a step in the right direction. Failure is giving up on yourself, which is the one thing you should never do. Giving up on an idea, a diet, or a relationship, all are inevitable. It’s going to happen multiple times throughout your life. But that’s not the same as giving up on yourself and not trying.

The idea that we should never quit is one of the traps in this life that prevents us from ever trying in the first place, because we believe if we’re not going to be successful, then why try and risk failure. No, you should quit when your intuition is telling you to move on. Two quotes come to mind. “Fail fast,” and “Don’t spend time in delay.” If it feels like it’s time to pull the plug, then it probably is. Move on, and give yourself the opportunity to try something new. And never give up on what you want.

Try Something New

Try it on. We try on clothes all the time before we buy them. We need to see if they fit. If they look as good on us as they do on the hanger. If they feel nice. If they are worth the price. So why not try on more things in life before committing? Why not try on a lifestyle? A new diet? Why not try stopping a bad habit? Try it on for a week and see what happens. You can always go back to what you were doing before. To what you were eating before. AND, if it doesn’t work out, you can always try on something else. 

That’s the kicker. Nothing is permanent. Mitakpa, Impermanence. 

Know It Alls

I don’t think people think they know it all. I think people forget that everything they know was learned, and that creates a false sense of knowing. They assume that if there’s something to know, that they would already know it. It’s a slight, but important, difference in perspective.

It’s hard to remember a time when we didn’t know, when we first learned something, and what that felt like. And for many of us there comes a time when we stop learning. We finish school, settle into a job, and our life becomes predictable. We’re no longer pushed to learn, and learning no longer fees necessary as a result. We feel we have everything we need to know.

But if we assume that people think they know everything, then we assume that people are know it alls, and therefore aren’t interested in learning, and are unwilling to change. But if by contrast we understand that we’re all born unknowing, that we’ve all learned everything we know, and that we can be taught, then we can assume that if we can figure out how to get through to people, they can learn, and they can change.

Focus

Where should be point our focus?

I was doing Swiss ball passes the other day. It’s an exercise that involves the passing of a Swiss ball, aka a stability ball, between your hands and your feet as you lie on the ground in a hollow body position. During the movement I noticed that my attention was on the movement of my legs and arms, and not the ball. And, for the first time, this seemed odd to me, so I adjusted and tracked the ball.

Immediately after I locked onto the ball with my eyes I noticed that my form improved. Even as the ball went out of sight above my head, my form stayed dialed in. It turns out that the location of the ball is far more important in this exercise than where I, and how I, move my arms and legs. Knowing where the ball was fed my brain the information it needed to figure out the best position to put my body in. Trying to move my arms and legs correctly, and following their movement, was actually a distraction.

When I observe something like this, it makes me wonder where else in my life this type of behavior might be occurring, and causing more strain than it should. Where else in my life can I use this same logic to improve? Where else in my life am I being distracted while thinking I’m paying attention? Where else in my life could correcting my focus help put me in a better position to succeed? What minor adjustment could I make that would help get things done more efficiently with less effort and better results?

Relationships

Sharing responsibilities in a relationship is not only about carrying equal amounts of burden. It is about collaboration. Collaboration requires conversation, discussion, weighing the pros and the cons, and ultimately coming to a mutual decision. When one person does it all, it leads to breakdowns in relationships. But not because one person is responsible for carrying the load, although resentment can build, but because when a serious issue arises the couple, having rarely collaborated before, lacks the experience and skills needed to work through it.

If by contrast a couple is constantly working together and communicating about every decision and detail in their shared lives, from where to put a new tree, and what to cook for Christmas, what to feed the kids, to where to live, and whether or not to pursue that business idea, then when conflicts between them arise, they will be well versed enough to work through them.

They will know when to speak, when to listen, when to be forceful, and when to acquiesce. They will be open and receptive, and understand how to come to an agreement, and be able to move forward even if they didn’t get their way. Sharing responsibility is about more than shouldering the burden, although at the surface that is how we usually view it. It is about working together for the best possible outcome in all situations, and the more practice you have with the benign and fun stuff, the easier it will be to get through the tough things.

Balance

For 99 percent of people the goal should be sustainability and balance. Losing weight is not the goal. Getting healthier is not the goal. Making more money is not the goal. These are the things that emerge when a sustainable and balanced life are achieved, but they are not the goals. 

Find the spots in your life that are out of balance, out of alignment, and focus on achieving homeostasis in those areas. Fix your sleep. Give up sweet treats with added sugar. Complete a project you’ve been putting off. Go visit that friend or family member you’ve been threatening to go see. Make yourself a delicious meal, and then do it again, and again. Get rid of something that makes you miserable. Like answering emails between 6 pm and 6 am. End a relationship that only serves the other person, and only brings you a black cloud. 

Find the points of imbalance and slowly, methodically, and intentionally, correct them over time, and eventually your weight, relationships, health, finances, and overall happiness will improve. Anticipate and be ready for setbacks, and don’t let them discourage you. Realize that they are part of the process, that old habits die hard, and new ones take time to develop. Every setback should be acknowledged as progress. It means you’re pushing up against something hard and it’s pushing back. 

It’s not going to give in so easily, but neither are you. You’re moving towards balance, and a life of stability.

Hypocrisy

People are arguing about whether or not people in Gaza are starving. People arguing about this are not starving. People arguing about this have never missed a meal in their lives. People arguing about this are deciding what they’ll have for dinner tonight. Should they go to the store and cook? Should they order take out? Should they go out to eat? What are they in the mood for? Well, last night was Italian, and tomorrow is sushi, so maybe something light tonight like Mediterranean. 

Some people get to decide what they will eat, when they will eat, how much they will eat, who will prepare their food, how they will prepare their food, and they also get to debate whether someone else is “actually” starving or not. They get to weigh in on what qualifies as “starving” versus overreacting, being dramatic, and just being hungry.

And they see that as ok. They miss the hypocrisy. And all around us we see it as normal to be in a position to debate someone else’s well being and livelihood, while our own lives go on unaffected and uninterrupted.

Expectations

Most humans don’t do things they’ve never learned or don’t understand. That is basically the rationale as to why someone does one thing and not the other. One they were taught, and the other one they weren’t. One they understand, and the other they don’t. But we all assume everyone knows what we know, and we assume we were born with the knowledge and insights we have. But we weren’t.

Everyone is born with the same lack of knowledge and understanding, and we learn from our environment. The people, examples, and experiences we grow up with. So it’s crazy to me when someone from one side of the world expects someone on the other side of the world, or someone from the other side of a city, town, or neighborhood even, to know what they know, and understand what they understand.

My fiancee and I have a saying. “You could have been a horse born on Cumberland Island, or you could have been a horse born at the track.” Cumberland Island, where wild horses are protected and praised, is a majestic paradise for horses. The track is like being born in a labor camp. They might be of the same species, but these two horses are going to live drastically different lives, have drastically different experiences, and therefore have very different views of humans, nature, and the world.

No one would look upon these two horses and expect them to act the same, but when it comes to humans we do. We project what we know onto everyone around us, and ridicule and condemn others when they don’t act in accordance to our expectations. Never contemplating the fact that that could of been you and you wouldn’t even know it.

Where would you choose to be born if given the choice? I know my choice. Cumberland Island all damn day.   

Change

I’ve been accused of changing more than once in my life by people who “know me.” But there’s an alternative consideration. That I never was the person everyone knew. That it’s hard as a child to really know who you are and not be influenced by the environment around you. Or even as a young adult, or young professional entering the work force.

More often than not, you’re just going with what you know and what you see around you. Rarely, if ever, stopping to think, “Is this what I actually want to be doing? Is this making me happy? Or is it just familiar?” And even if you do have that moment of question, it can be hard to answer without knowing what the other possibilities are.

I grew up in a house where I was required to go to college. And, while it was never said, it was implied, at least from my perspective, that after college I would get a job, get married, buy a house, and start a family. And while it never felt like the right plan for me, for years I kind of went along with it. It’s embarrassing to admit, but at the time I couldn’t conceive of an alternative plan. I didn’t understand what else was possible, so I followed the one I’d seen play out around me and was comfortable with. But that’s just one example of many.

We fall into this trap with our beliefs too. We grow up thinking we believe something because the people around us believe something. We fall for it with our likes. We like what the people around us like. And dislike what they dislike. We think we’re interested in a sport, art, or certain food, because of something innate in us, when really it’s just something common amongst those around us.

So when we get older and, if were lucky and courageous enough, we take the opportunity to separate ourselves from what’s familiar, like the beliefs, likes, dislikes, and interests that saturate the environment we grew up in, we start to really learn about ourselves, and more often than not all of those things begin to change. From the outsiders perspective they believe you have changed, or someone changed you, or something in your environment is the reason.

But what they don’t understand, because they’ve never experienced it, is that it was in you all along, waiting for something or someone to ignite it.