Celebrating California Sober

December 21, 2023 marked two years of being California sober. It’s not “sober” because in that period I have used “recreational” drugs such as psilocybin and cannabis when needed. But psychedelics like these never impacted me the way alcohol has, and I’ve also never been tempted to over indulge in them. Alcohol and I on the other hand don’t have that track record.

Unlike drinking, smoking a joint, eating an edible, or micro-dosing mushrooms has never been followed by a physical altercation, or a fight with a loved one. They’ve never been the reason I missed a test or bailed on an obligation. On the contrary, they’ve led to deeper discussions, more intimate relationships, and a kinder and gentler me.

There’s also alcohol’s impact on health. As Peter Attia shared recently, there is no safe amount of alcohol consumption that doesn’t increase the risk of disease. The idea that alcohol could be part of a “healthy lifestyle,” came from studying populations of people already living healthy, full and active lives. Their robust lifestyles kept them heathy despite drinking, not because of it.

One of the main health risks, is an increased chance of developing heart disease. Which every single male figure in my bloodline has suffered from. The prevalence of heart disease in my family, is another reason I’ve decided it’s better to avoid it.

Living a full, happy, and healthy life has become my priority, and I’ve found that it’s much faster and easier to achieve that through the subtraction of harmful behaviors, than it is from adding beneficial ones. Whether it’s ultra-processed foods, sugar, relationships, or drugs and alcohol, the elimination of toxins is a guaranteed way to feel better. I’m working smarter, not harder these days.

It’s hard to put into words the difference I feel now compared to two years ago. But I thought this example might help make the abstract more tangible.

Picture a person who has never lifted a weight or exercises before in their life. Now picture that person decides to start exercising daily, and stays consistent with it for 2 years. Now think about what that person would look like and feel like at the end of those 2 years. The difference would be tremendous. They would not just look different, but their mood, confidence and clarity would be improved as well.

That is how I feel. I feel the best I’ve ever felt in my life.

True other factors have helped shape my way over this time. Perhaps none more important than the stable home life my girlfriend, dog and I have built. But I’m not sure it would have been possible if I (we) didn’t stop drinking when I (we) did. 

The biggest benefit that I believe accounts for my improvements in mental clarity and physical strength, has been improved sleep quality and consistency. Alcohol is one of the worst sleep disruptors. Over two years of not drinking, I’ve been able to accumulate a lot of restful nights. Which means consistently waking up ready for the day, ready to be productive. Of not having to put my workouts, diets, relationships, or other goals on hold. It’s felt like two years of progress, which is what actually prompted this post.

When I woke up this New Years, January 1, 2024, I was tired. We stayed up two hours past our bedtime on New Year’s Eve, and it took an extra minute for me to wake up. But I wasn’t groggy. I didn’t need to pull the covers back over my head. I didn’t have a headache, or crave something greasy or sugary and want to curl up on the couch until the feeling passed.

On the contrary, I wanted to read, make coffee, and walk my dog. Same as I do every morning. I wanted to shake off the slight fatigue I felt, and start my day. Each day, for two years, this has been my experience.

If you’re reading this as a lecture, then I apologize. But, if you’re reading this thinking “I want to stop,” “I’ve tried to stop,” and “I’m working on cutting back, but it’s hard,” or “I don’t even know why I drink, I don’t even like it,” then this post is for you. Because over the last two years those have been the most common responses I’ve heard whenever I tell someone I gave up drinking. Whether it’s at a wedding, out to dinner, or skiing with friends, there’s always someone who wants to get on board.

The reason we all drink with the frequency and carelessness in which we do is the same. Alcohol is engrained in our society. There’s happy hour to decompress from work. There’s, “What would you like to drink?” immediately upon sitting down for dinner, and the uncomfortable feeling if you say “I’m okay with water.” There’s the over $500 million spent on marketing each year. And the sponsorships for beer, liquor, and wine at ball games, plays, concerts, and now even the movie theater. The societal pressure to drink, relax, and “be part of society” is enormous and unavoidable. It feels easier to give in than resist and miss out. But I got news for you, you won’t be missing out.

At this point I would be remiss if I didn’t say that the decision to give up drinking was one that my girlfriend and I made a together a couple of months into dating. We both had periods in our life of sobriety prior to dating. Having each other to lean on when we’re out, to talk about it’s impact on our lives with, and not fall prey to the pressure has been immeasurable. It would not be nearly as enjoyable without her.

So this post is for the people who want to stop but feel like in a society that values the drinker, they don’t want to be left out in the cold. This post is to say that it’s entirely possible to stop drinking. That there’s a whole lot of people who’ve made the decision, and a whole lot more who want to put down the drink, if only we could normalize not drinking the way we’ve normalized drinking.

And most importantly, it’s to say that you can do it, and live your best life ever after.