Expectations

Most humans don’t do things they’ve never learned or don’t understand. That is basically the rationale as to why someone does one thing and not the other. One they were taught, and the other one they weren’t. One they understand, and the other they don’t. But we all assume everyone knows what we know, and we assume we were born with the knowledge and insights we have. But we weren’t.

Everyone is born with the same lack of knowledge and understanding, and we learn from our environment. The people, examples, and experiences we grow up with. So it’s crazy to me when someone from one side of the world expects someone on the other side of the world, or someone from the other side of a city, town, or neighborhood even, to know what they know, and understand what they understand.

My fiancee and I have a saying. “You could have been a horse born on Cumberland Island, or you could have been a horse born at the track.” Cumberland Island, where wild horses are protected and praised, is a majestic paradise for horses. The track is like being born in a labor camp. They might be of the same species, but these two horses are going to live drastically different lives, have drastically different experiences, and therefore have very different views of humans, nature, and the world.

No one would look upon these two horses and expect them to act the same, but when it comes to humans we do. We project what we know onto everyone around us, and ridicule and condemn others when they don’t act in accordance to our expectations. Never contemplating the fact that that could of been you and you wouldn’t even know it.

Where would you choose to be born if given the choice? I know my choice. Cumberland Island all damn day.   

Change

I’ve been accused of changing more than once in my life by people who “know me.” But there’s an alternative consideration. That I never was the person everyone knew. That it’s hard as a child to really know who you are and not be influenced by the environment around you. Or even as a young adult, or young professional entering the work force.

More often than not, you’re just going with what you know and what you see around you. Rarely, if ever, stopping to think, “Is this what I actually want to be doing? Is this making me happy? Or is it just familiar?” And even if you do have that moment of question, it can be hard to answer without knowing what the other possibilities are.

I grew up in a house where I was required to go to college. And, while it was never said, it was implied, at least from my perspective, that after college I would get a job, get married, buy a house, and start a family. And while it never felt like the right plan for me, for years I kind of went along with it. It’s embarrassing to admit, but at the time I couldn’t conceive of an alternative plan. I didn’t understand what else was possible, so I followed the one I’d seen play out around me and was comfortable with. But that’s just one example of many.

We fall into this trap with our beliefs too. We grow up thinking we believe something because the people around us believe something. We fall for it with our likes. We like what the people around us like. And dislike what they dislike. We think we’re interested in a sport, art, or certain food, because of something innate in us, when really it’s just something common amongst those around us.

So when we get older and, if were lucky and courageous enough, we take the opportunity to separate ourselves from what’s familiar, like the beliefs, likes, dislikes, and interests that saturate the environment we grew up in, we start to really learn about ourselves, and more often than not all of those things begin to change. From the outsiders perspective they believe you have changed, or someone changed you, or something in your environment is the reason.

But what they don’t understand, because they’ve never experienced it, is that it was in you all along, waiting for something or someone to ignite it.

Perspective

When we moved into our house last year our neighbor came over to see what we had done to the backyard. On the walk back she commented about how much she hated the ground cover that lined the path on the side of our house. She had the same ground cover, but she ripped it up a few years ago because she was gardening one day and found a snake.

“A rattlesnake?” I asked.

Both my neighbor and my fiancee tst tsted me and said, in almost unison, “Of course not!”

Well if it wasn’t a rattlesnake, and therefore not threatening, then why did it leave such an impression, and why even mention it…

It’s a fascinating story to me about perspective. To me, a garden snake is not worth mentioning or even remembering, unless it was in the context of sharing the good news that we have another animal living in our garden. But to someone with a fear of snakes, albeit an irrational one as garden snakes are harmless, it is a tale of caution, and a reason to destroy the snake’s home.

And it is that same irrational fear that the people in charge play on to convince us that our wars, operations, and conflicts are just. Only it’s not snakes were told to be afraid of, it’s certain people and races. And an irrational fear of people is sometimes all a person needs to decimate their lives.

Relationships

I used to think that trust in a relationships meant telling the truth about where you were, what you did, and who you were with. But now I realize that’s just foundational, and the bare minimum you should expect from your partner. Strong relationships are based on trust of a different kind. Trusting that when you’re being foolish, your partner is going to tell you that you’re being foolish, and when you’re trying to be courageous, that your partner will encourage your courageousness. And trust that they’re going to know the difference, and be honest about it when the time comes.

My buddy is thinking about leaving the corporate world. After 15 successful years of building a nest egg, and moving up the corporate ladder, he’s beginning to wonder, “Isn there more to life than this?” and so he’s starting to explore the idea of leaving, and taking a year or two off. We had him over for dinner recently when he told us. He laid it all out, and we helped him weigh the pros and the cons. We asked questions about his biggest fears around leaving, what he might want to do instead. We threw out ideas for resigning, discussed timelines, and gave suggestions based on our own experiences and what we know about him.

Finally after about an hour of discussing it I asked, “What does your wife think you should do?”

I know his wife very well, and I’m very fond of her. She’s a smart, funny, successful, no nonsense woman who deeply loves my friend. And so it dawned on me, who cares what I think, if she believes he should leave, then he should leave. If she believes he shouldn’t, he shouldn’t. Because, lucky for my friend, he’s found the woman that he can trust to tell him when he’s being foolish and encourage him when he’s being courageous.

“She’s all about it,” he replied. “She thinks I should quit, and take time off.” When he said that I told him we had our answer and that he should stop searching. And it was the first time the importance of a partner you could trust was that crystal clear to me.

Concerning

I find it concerning that not everyone is concerned with the president’s use of the word slaughter. As in, “There has already been great death and destruction, but there is still time to make this slaughter, with the next already planned attacks being even more brutal, come to an end. Iran must make a deal, before there is nothing left.” 

The open acknowledgement of what it really is, a slaughter, versus what it is reported to be, targeted defensive strikes, is mind blowing. But even wilder than that is the mild mannered reactions or no reaction at all from mass media and independent journalists. It’s been more of just a regurgitation of what was said, just part of the developing story.

It’s not that he’s first president to support a slaughter, we have a long history of that. In fact, my lifetime has been filled with them, and it’s likely yours has a well. And he won’t be the last. But he might be the first to call it out in real time, AND try to legitimize it as a negotiation tactic.

If you’re from the U.S. you know, or should know, that our history is littered with slaughters, although we don’t call them that. We call them wars, or operations, or conflicts. And we enter these wars, operations, and conflicts because there’s a resource we need like oil, land, labor, fruit, or rare earth minerals. But we don’t say that, we say it’s to fight terror, or free people from oppression, or stop the spread of a dangerous ideology.

Our president’s tell us we’re doing everything right, and we’re doing everything we can to stop what’s happening. And despite knowing what’s happening behind the scenes, the truth of the war, operation, or conflict, we hear those words and it gives us hope that our prayers might actually be answered, and that maybe we’re wrong. We don’t know what’s really going on.

But all hope goes out the window when the guy in charge calls it like it is, a slaughter, and no one flinches. It’s twisted, but maybe it’s what we need as a country to finally wake up. To stop believing all of the lies. To understand that when the president says “I’m doing everything I can to broker a ceasefire,” but despite his seemingly genuine intention the destruction continues, that what he’s actually saying is, “The slaughter will continue until we reach a deal.”

Misconceptions

One of the biggest changes in my life was realizing that things, big projects, don’t have to be done all at once. Not even in one day. I’ve finally figured out that even a backyard project could be pieced out over days. Day 1, measure. Day 2, pick up the lumber and hardware. Day 3, cut. Day 4, assemble and install. It doesn’t have to be done all at once, and it doesn’t have to be done right now.

I’ve lived under those misconceptions for a long time. The idea that something had to be done all at once, right now. And it stopped me from starting many projects because I couldn’t see how to get it done based on those timelines. But things take time, and so it’s ok to take time. Make a plan. Check that it makes sense. Gather who and what you need.

Don’t overcommit to too much in one day. Call it quits when you notice it’s no longer enjoyable (a good rule to live by).

Our lives are filled with small misconceptions about how we should live, that end up dictating our lives, and we don’t even know it. 

Convenience

Everyone is selling convenience. That’s the most valuable commodity around. If you can find a way to make someone’s life easier, then you can sell them anything.

I’ve decided to start feeding my dog real food. I almost slip every time and say human food. As if chicken, beef, rice, sweet potatoes, and vegetables (the main items of his diet now) are only made for us. He’s getting older, he’s 13, and I think real food might expand his horizon and longevity. If it works for me, why wouldn’t it work for him?

The impetus for this decision came as I observed him devouring a frozen beef femur the other night. For hours he laid outside on his blanket with it and sucked everyone ounce of bone marrow and life force he could out of that bone. Watching him gave me the sense that he needed real food. And that’s when my decision was made.

But it made me question why I even give him kibble to begin with. Why do I feed my dog pellets of processed food? What am I actually buying? Because I can buy and cook food for my dog if I want to. So it’s not actually food that I’m buying. It’s not some special formula like they want you to believe. When has fortified processed food every proven to be better for your health than actual food? Never.

I’m really just buying convenience. I’m paying someone else for the convenience of not having to shop, cook, clean, and plan for my dog. I’ve outsourced that responsibility.

The company wins. They get paid. I win. All I have to do is remember to order food, and scoop a few cups of kibble into his bowl each day. The only loser is my dog who’s left to eat what my fiancee calls “food with no life force.”

Looking at it from the view of dog owner to dog, the decision to give my dog processed food seems straight forward. The juice, giving him real food, is not worth the squeeze, shopping, cooking, cleaning, planning. Despite how much we love our animals we can’t deny the fact that we view them as lesser, even if by a tiny margin. Which is why they don’t get all the perks and luxuries new give ourselves. Whether that’s real food, or that big expensive procedure. It’s just easier and understandable not to.

But I wonder if that’s why we, humans in modern civilization, eat so much processed food. Convenience, cost, time, energy, yes. But is that the only reason? Or is it also because we don’t think highly enough of ourselves to warrant taking the time to plan, shop, and cook our meals? Do we think we’re not worth the extra cost, time, and effort? We know the benefits of eating real food, and the consequences of eating processed food, so why is 70 percent of the American diet made up of processed food?

I don’t actually know if that’s the case or not, clearly. And I know that for many people in this world that it is way more complicated than I’ve made it seem. But for many of us, it’s probably not that complicated, and we could feed ourselves better with very little impact to our lives, and I’m fascinated by why we don’t.

Hiking Half Dome at Yosemite

What are you carrying and not using? What are you carrying that you don’t need?

This past week I was hiking Half Dome in Yosemite National Park with my fiancée and three friends. Half Dome is a 17 mile round trip hike on a mix of paved trail, granite steps, sand, rock, and dirt. The trail ascends for 8 - 8.5 miles, gaining 5,500 feet of elevation, until reaching the top of Half Dome, which requires pulling yourself up chains attached to an almost vertical wall for the last few hundred feet of the hike. It then descends 8 - 8.5 miles back to the trailhead. You can count on it taking 10 - 12 hours, depending on fitness level and number of rest stops, to complete.

In addition to Half Dome’s challenging profile, there’s only two places to fill up water, at the trailhead and a few miles in sourced from a river, and nowhere to get food (naturally). Which means if you want to have an enjoyable day you’ll need to carry a couple thousand calories and a few liters of water. It’s also why hiking poles are recommended, and why we we all packed ours, checking a bag for a weekend trip just to do so.

Nevertheless, we all started the day with our hiking poles strapped to our backpacks as we began to climb the first 3 miles and 2,500 feet of the hike. Less than a mile in I thought about using mine, but something in me kept resisting. The trail was steep, and I knew I was in for a long day, but I thought I shouldn’t use them so early on, that it was better to fight through without them, and only use them if I needed them. Maybe just to descend.

But my brain wouldn’t relent. Over and over in my head it went, “Just pull them off your pack. What did you bring them for?” So, at the end of our first break, after gaining close to 1,400 feet, I gave in and pulled them off my bag, snapped them into place, and carried them in my left hand like a grocery bag. I went from carrying them on my back, to in my hand. Progress. Getting closer. But still not using them.

I looked around to my fiancée and my friends, none of whom had pulled off their poles yet, and again it went, “Why did we bring hiking poles if we weren’t going to use them?” It was a very real question I kept wondering about. What was the rationale we were telling ourselves to not use the poles we traveled with to help us hike? I actually paid $40 to check my backpack that I could have otherwise carried on. Said another way, I believed it was worth $40 to have my poles, which, for a frugal man, was not a decision I made lightly, and one that would have went another way in a prior time of my life. I had made an investment in my poles, and now when it was time to cash in I was treating my asset like an insurance policy.

Why were we so unwilling to use them?  

There was the idea that using them created an image of weakness. That I couldn’t keep up without them. The belief that if I didn’t use them, I’d be stronger in the end having survived without their help. That I would suffer on the way up, but reap the benefits in the days that followed. There was the group think of, “No one else is using them, so maybe I don’t need them?” That only in the case of an emergency should they be deployed. All of these reasons, and more, swirling around my head, convincing me not to use them, even though they were always part of my plan.

As often happens, I then started to wonder where else in my life this was happening. Where else was I turning down help because I thought it might make me look weak, and because doing it alone would make me stronger? Or because no one else was looking for help, which meant I didn’t need any either. Where else could I be making my life easier, but I’m making the decision not to? What am I carrying around that I’m not utilizing? And, conversely, what am I carrying that I could get rid of? 

What’s in my backpack that I didn’t need to bring but packed anyway because it gave me comfort, but no utility? What’s in my backpack that I’ve been procrastinating removing? On a typical hike I pack double the amount of food I need, to make sure that I never get hungry. As if hunger equals death. I pack gear I know I’m not going to use. I offer to carry other peoples comfort items so that they have a good time. Why carry around things I don’t need, when a lighter pack would be easier, allow me to reach the top quicker, with more energy, and have more time with the views?

A backpack on a long hike is the perfect metaphor for visualizing the baggage we carry around in life. Bad relationships. Excess bodyweight. Stress. Unrealistic expectations. Bad habits. Self abuse. Grudges, anger, and hate towards others. Self-limiting beliefs. Everything we emotionally, physically, and spiritually carry around with us, packed into a “backpack” that we lug around. Dragging us down, making life harder, and providing no help in getting to the top.

All around us, and with-in us, we have access to tools, skills, knowledge, and relationships, that we don’t take advantage of. And on our backs is a bag full of people, beliefs, habits, feelings, and emotions, that we never confront despite knowing that they don’t serve us, and carry around anyway. What could you be taking advantage of that you’re not? And what could you unpack for an easier life?

Finally I took one pole in each hand, planted them into the ground, and carried on to the top of Half Dome. 

Trips Details:

We flew into Fresno Yosemite International Airport on Tuesday evening, and drove one hour to Oakhurst to spend the night at The Inelle. Fresno Airport is two hours south of Yosemite, and Oakhurst is right in the middle on your way to Yosemite. Making it a good place to spend a night or two if you want.

Wednesday we spent the morning exploring Oakhurst. We had a really nice breakfast at Bees Cafe (I recommend), and coffee at Clouds Rest Coffee (also recommend). Oakhurst has a couple of big grocery stores, and so we shopped for food to have in our cabin the next two nights. 

We stayed at The Explorers Cabin, part of the Yosemite cabin rentals. It’s just outside the park, about a 35 minute drive to the parking lot where you’ll park and begin your walk to the trailhead for Half Dome.

Thursday morning we were up at 4 am, out the door by 5:15 am, parked by a quarter to 6, and at the trailhead by 6 am. The walk from the parking lot to the trailhead is about 3/4 of a mile. 

With stops every 90 minutes or so, plus a 30 minute lunch at the top of Half Dome, we made it up and back to our car in ~10.5 hours. On the way up we took the Mist Trail which takes you along the side of a couple of beautiful waterfalls where you will get pretty wet (hence the name). On the way back we planned on taking the John Muir Trail, but when we saw that it added 1.5 miles to the journey, everyone in our group voted to go down the same way we came, the Mist Trail.

However, we did take the John Muir trail for about a half mile to a natural pool made by a waterfall. At the pool we took off our shoes, some took off their clothes, and jumped into the cold water. It was a really refreshing way to end a long hot day. Even if you’re going to take the Mist Trail down, I do suggest taking the Muir Trail, definitely stop for the pool.

Main blogs/resources we referenced:

• Half Dome Gear Guide

• Weather Guide

• Thorough and Detailed Blog

All Trails Map:

• Half Dome via The John Muir Trail (this is via John Muir, but you can see the Mist Trail and use it to navigate either way).

Permit:

• Note: YOU WILL NEED A PERMIT TO GO TO THE TOP OF HALF DOME. ENTER THE LOTTERY HERE: Half Dome Day Hike

The Mis-Conceptions of Food Waste, and Value

Food Waste

I did a tabling event at a children’s museum this past weekend for We Don’t Waste. Tabling, also called The Speakers Bureau, involves interacting and engaging with the visitors, giving them information about We Don’t Waste, and educating them on our mission and why it’s important.

My pitch goes something like this:

“We rescue food that would have otherwise ended up in landfills from places like grocery stores, bakeries, restaurants, and sports stadiums, and distribute it to the community through mobile food markets, and partnerships with organizations like shelters, food pantries, and farms. Last year we rescued over 24 million servings of food which helped feed over 700,000 people.”

Most people nod and get the gist. A small percentage of people have heard of We Don’t Waste and are familiar with the problem food waste in this country poses (over 40% of food in the U.S. ends up in landfills where it rots and produces methane gas). But one lady asked me, “So, do you like dig in the garbage for food to find what’s still good?” A valid question because, well, “food waste.” What does that make you think of? It made me wonder how many other people might have that same question but were just too afraid to ask it. It is the reason I hate the term food waste.

The answer to her question is no. The food we distribute is in perfectly good condition, and comes directly off the shelves of bakeries, or straight from the freezers at grocery stores. A better term might be “excess food that stores know they are not going to sell and are going to throw away but is actually still of high quality and definitely edible.” But it would be hard to start a global campaign around that. So we use “food waste.”

Here are some pictures of the food we are saving and re-distributing. These are pictures from a mobile food market this past week.

Cream Cheese, Pistachios

Frozen Ground Beef

Assortment of Bread and Misc

So there’s two big disconnects that we are fighting against in this movement. 

The first is our perception of food waste. When we think of that phrase we automatically picture food in the garbage, or an unfinished plate, or maybe something rotten and inedible. And that’s understandable. But as the pictures above show, “food waste” is anything but. 

A couple of years ago I worked part time (very part time) on a farm in Los Angeles. One day we were harvesting carrots. We had two bins. Carrots destined for the market went into one bin. Carrots destined for the compost went into another bin. The difference? Appearance. The compost carrots were ugly and the farmer I worked for knew for that reason they wouldn’t sell. Just another example of how our programming of what food should look like has turned food, into waste. Think about that the next time you’re at the grocery store or the farmers market, and you put an apple down because it has a bruise, or choose a different potato without a spore, or pass over the soft avocado. We’re conditioned to pick perfect produce.   

The second disconnect is what is actually causing the degradation of our environment and our health. One of the guys I volunteer with has been vegan for 20 years. When he told me that I replied, “Twenty years, that must be hard.”

“Not when you’re doing it for the right reasons,” he replied. “Like animal welfare and the impact on the environment.”

Is farming ruining the planet, or is the way we farm ruining the planet? If we can produce so much food in this country that over 40 percent of it goes to waste, then perhaps there’s something wrong in the methodology. If 40 percent of food goes to waste, then 40 percent of the resources used to grow that food are going to waste (energy, water, and money). If the food industry can waste 40 percent of food and still turn a profit, then it should call into question the “methods” and “techniques” (if you can call them that) that they are using. Massive fields of monoculture agriculture doused in pesticides might produce a large yield, but it’s decimating the soil and the land, and our health. 

I just finished reading Silo, written by chef Douglas McMaster who owns a restaurant of the same name. They are the world’s first zero waste restaurant. The book is a “how to” for anyone looking to reduce the waste they create. At the end of the book he sums it up pretty perfectly. 

“Zero waste is nature. To achieve zero waste is to integrate with nature. It has everything we desire and there needs to be no compromise.”

Zero waste is nature. We’re disconnected from nature. The biggest disconnect that encompasses all of the others. 

Nothing of Value

Spam email is a great example of what happens when something costs nothing. Companies can send out their “newsletter” to thousands of people for next to nothing. And even if they get 1% of people to click, it’s worth it to them. So they flood our emails with their latest nonsense. Just one more way we are all so distracted.

I ordered hydrogen tabs recently after learning about them on a Joe Rogan podcast. $30 for a 30 day supply seemed like a good bet to test them out. Today I recieved a newsletter from the company. 

I can’t even tell you what it said because I unsubscribed and deleted it immediately. I was just looking for a hydrogen tab to test the reported health benefits. I didn’t ask for a newsletter from a company that manufactures hydrogen tabs. 

But everyone thinks they have something intelligent to say (ahem)…

And now with AI not only does the email cost nothing, but you don’t even have to produce the content. 

Me: “Compose a newsletter that tells people why hydrogen tabs are beneficial to their health.”

ChatGPT: “Sure! Here's a draft for a newsletter that promotes the health benefits of hydrogen tablets in a friendly, informative tone:

Subject Line: Unlock the Power of Hydrogen – A Simple Tab for Better Health

Header: Say Hello to Better Health with Hydrogen Tabs

Body:
Did you know the smallest molecule in the universe could be your biggest health upgrade?

Hydrogen tablets—tiny but mighty—are changing the way we support wellness from the inside out. When dropped into water, these tabs release molecular hydrogen (H₂), a powerful antioxidant that helps your body fight oxidative stress, reduce inflammation, and boost cellular health.

Here’s what hydrogen tabs can do for you:

• Combat oxidative stress – Molecular hydrogen targets harmful free radicals, which may reduce signs of aging and improve recovery after exercise.

• Support energy and mental clarity – Users often report improved focus and stamina with regular use.

• Promote gut health and hydration – Hydrogen-rich water is gentle on the digestive system and may support gut balance.

• Anti-inflammatory effects – Preliminary studies show benefits in reducing chronic inflammation and supporting immune function.

No pills, no powders, just a clean tablet that transforms your water—and your wellness routine.

Ready to feel the difference?
Drop one tab in water. Drink daily. Discover the benefits.

[Shop Hydrogen Tabs Now]

Stay healthy,
The [Your Brand Name] Team”

Technology has done some amazing things, but creating cheap products and services of no value to infiltrate our lives, and distract us, has not been one of them. And in a lot of ways it is the same issue we face with food waste.

Eating Pre-Industrial

I recently heard a term that at the same time describes what’s wrong with the way we eat and how we should be eating.

The term is “pre-industrial.”

I picked it up while reading Silo, a book written by the chef of a restaurant by the same name. It is (was?) the world’s first zero waste restaurant. Chef Douglas McMaster uses the term pre-industrial to describe the “diet” (aka “cuisine”) at Silo, which is a blend of vegan and paleo principles.

I think it’s a perfect way to describe the type of food we should be putting on our plates and in our mouths. Typically when when I describe my diet I use phrases like whole foods, real foods, without added sugar, or nothing processed. But really what I’m trying to say is that I eat the way humans used to eat, the way my ancestors ate, before food became industrialized and viewed as a commodity. So pre-industrial is perfectly fitting.

Another reason I like it is because it doesn’t describe a diet with set rules to follow, and therefore eliminates the follow up questions about what’s allowed or not. Vegan. Paleo. Vegetarian. Whole 30. Keto. Atkins. Pescatarian. What are the rules? What can I eat and what can’t I eat? Red meat? Grains? Dairy? Pre-industrial encompasses everything the earth can produce in its un-adultered form.

Lastly, I like it because it eliminates the need to say “whole foods,” which has been co-opted by the grocery store of the same name, who sells more ultra-processed foods than they do real foods… But I digress.

I had family visiting this week. My sister-in-law was telling us how she loves to cook, and how they no longer keep processed food in the house. Her 16 yr old son came to her one day and said,

“You don’t have anything that’s just ready to eat. Everything has to be cooked.”

I thought it was so telling. In this post-industrial world we’ve become accustomed to having food ready on demand, requiring you only to open your mouth and shovel it in. Which I believe has as much to do with our declining health as the toxic ingredients in the food.

Because I’m of the opinion that cooking is part of healthy digestion, which is a vital to good health. That cooking is the ultimate “aperitif,” if you will, that primes the body and gets it ready to process the food you’re about to consume. That digestion begins the moment you begin preparing your food, and skipping it can cause all sorts of things to go wrong in the body.

Compare these scenarios.

Scenario one, you want to cook your favorite recipe. So, you go to the store and buy all of the ingredients. You bring them home, and unpack the groceries. You turn on the oven, heat a pan, and fire up the grill. You start chopping vegetables, and season your meat. You put some vegetables in the pan to sauté, while the others get placed in the oven to roast. The smell of veggies starts to fill the house. You step outside and throw a cut of meat on the BBQ, and it begins to sear.

While the veggies and meat are cooking you start to whip up a salad. You pick fresh greens, a tomato, and basil all from your garden, chop it all up and place it in a bowl before running outside to flip the meat and catch a whiff off the grill. You step back inside and give the veggies a toss, and check the oven. The salad gets dressed with olive oil, vinegar, and a couple of pinches of salt. 

With that the timer for the veggies goes off, so you pull them off the stove and out of the oven. Then you run outside and pull off the meat. While the meat is resting you set the table, and everyone gathers around to eat.

Or;

You open UberEats and order a burrito bowl from the sofa. While you wait you watch TV. Twenty - thirty minutes later you get a notification that your food is on the doorstep. You get off the couch, grab your food, remove it from the bag, take off the lid, and begin to eat.

I can’t help but think that there is something fundamentally wrong and unhealthy with the second scenario and something magical about the first. There’s a trigger that’s missed in the second scenario that is being activated in the first. A trigger that is prepping you for food. There is a connection formed by every cut, smell, taste while you’re cooking. The activation of your senses warm your stomach up, and prepare you.

Aside from just toxic ingredients you can’t pronounce or spell, foods made in factories at scale, in this post-industrial world, rob you of the opportunity to connect with your meal and get ready for nourishment. It’s a double dose of unnatural behavior that’s killing all of us.

By contrast getting back to a pre-industrial way of eating eliminates that deadly dose and promises good health as a result.

Three things that are on my mind right now

Colorado school meals

Chicken at the grocery store

So much to distract us

Colorado

In Colorado, the Healthy School Meals for All program is at risk of coming up short on the money required to keep the program true to it’s name. I was reading about it in a really good article in my local paper.

Colorado is one of a eights states that have universal free meal programs for their students. Universal means everyone is included, and students don’t have to meet certain requirements to be eligible for the program. Making the program available to everyone, and eliminating eligibility requirements, stops the discrimination and shame sometimes felt by lower income students, and it also reduces the work required for parents to enroll their children.

And, it also fulfills what should be a basic human right. The right to food. Particularly in a country where at least 50 percent of the food we produce is never eaten, and ends up rotting in landfills instead. But, I digress.

Regardless, the program is under threat, and if lawmakers can’t figure out how to secure the necessary funding, and close a $40 million dollar gap, then the program won’t be available to all, and will need to be renamed to the “Healthy Schools Meals for Some.”

Lawmakers have proposed two funding options that will be ballot measures for all Coloradans to vote on this year.

Option 1 - Allow the government to keep taxes that are required to be refunded to tax payers “due to the state’s cap on spending,” a requirement enshrined in the state’s Tax Payers Bill of Rights. Or;

Option 2 - Raise taxes on individuals making more than $300,000 per year (which is the same way they raised money for the program in 2022).

When I was training for my first Ironman I did all of my running with two guys. One of the guys took charge of planning the routes because he hated running out and backs, and would always say “they are so unimaginative.” Which is how I feel about these lawmakers. Unimaginative.

So, I’m proposing that we all write in a third option.

Option 3 - Instead of funding Israel’s and Ukraine’s wars, we take the collective billions we will have sent overseas, and use it to feed ALL our STUDENTS. Instead of spending $1 trillion dollars on the military, we cut the military budget, and use it to feed ALL our STUDENTS.

There’s this clip of Senator Murphy that I just love from the day he went out to protest defending USAID and closing the building. You can watch the clip, but he said “The people get to decide how their tax money is spent, Elon Musk does not get to decide.”

It made for good theater, but you could tell that not even he believed what he was saying. He knows we don’t decide. Because if we did decide, we would have things like free universal healthcare, and we would also provide free meals to ALL of our CHILDREN, without scrambling for funding every year.

Chicken

Normally, I get my chicken from a farm about 3 hours away from my house. All the meat they raise is done so out on pasture. Which means the animals spend most of their lives outside, grazing, pecking, and scratching, free to express their natural instincts, free to eat from the earth. But for the last couple of months they haven’t had any chicken meat to sell.

Why?

Because when you’re a small family farm operating in the Colorado mountains pasture raising your livestock, it is just not possible to have broiler chickens all year long. There is a certain seasonality to it, that differs from the large factory farms raising their animals in close unsanitary conditions indoors.

So, I’ve been buying chicken from the grocery store. Because while I’m aware of the seasonality, I still want chicken in the winter months. But, I try to be very selective of what I buy. Most times the highest quality I find is organic and free range. Which translates roughly to the chickens were fed an organic feed, likely still full of grains (grains are cheap), and they had access to the outdoors, but they likely spent their lives inside (chickens don’t just go outside, kind of the way people don’t anymore either).

But when given the choice between no chicken or organic free range, I’m choosing the latter every time.

However, I was pleasantly surprised when I got to the meat section at the grocery store today and saw what looked like real deal pasture raised chicken. And I was ecstatic when I saw that it was only $8 / lb. The chicken I buy from the farm is over $10 / lb, plus a delivery fee. But that is the price I pay for better meat, healthier and happier birds, and to support my local farmer.

When I stepped forward towards the chicken today another lady also stepped forward. We smiled and exchanged hellos. Out loud I said, “I’m so happy to see pasture raised chicken here. It’s the first time I’m seeing it.”

“I’m here for the chicken that’s on sale,” she said, “actually, I don’t know what the difference is.”

Sensing a teaching moment I took a deep breath and explained the difference between organic free range and pasture raised. I went further to explain why $7.99/lb was such a good price.

She looked at me and said, “that does sound better, but you can’t beat the price of this chicken.” She then proceeded to bring her package of on sale chicken closer to show me the price. “One pound of tenderloins, for $8… Well that can’t be right,” she said.

I walked away as she stood there unsure of what to do. Either way, I gave her something to think about.

Distractions

It’s a wonder how we get anything done. With all of the distractions and choices, I often fail to comprehend how the world is still running. It’s just so easy to distract yourself from things you need to do, but also thing you want to do (and sometimes these things are the same).

It’s like, if I sit down at my computer, before I do anything else, I check my email, check my stock portfolio, check my website, and check my YouTube page. Not because I “want” to, but because those are the things that give me that feel good dopamine hit (regardless of whether or not the news is good). I also know subconsciously that at least one of them is going to send me down a rabbit hole that will keep me from doing the thing I sat down to do. Sometimes that’s good, sometimes that’s bad.

My phone is no better. Thankfully I’ve been off social media for around two years now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t waste time on my phone. Emails, text messages, WhatsApp, photos, and checking the stock market (again) are all efficient ways to burn time and distract myself from being productive. 

So often I find myself asking, “What was I going to do?” My phone usage report the other day said I picked my phone up 49 times by early afternoon. To do what?!

So, I’ve been trying to re-wire that circuit in my brain to prevent myself from losing focus. Rather than waiting until its too late, and I’ve forgotten what I intended to do, and I have to spend time re-tracing my steps, now I take a moment when I open my lap top or pick up my phone and I ask “What do you want to do?” I sit on it, let it marinate, and a few moments later the answer usually comes to me.

“Colorado Movement Lab. Look them up, and see what they’re all about.”

Why sharing my writing scares me

I think I’m afraid to share my work because I’m scared that people are going to take the one thing they read that I wrote, and use it to form an opinion of me. Even though its only one thing, one idea, one thought, one observation, or one view out of a million that I have, it’s not going to be the collective one million that makes up who I am in their mind, it’s going to be the one thing that someone reads and doesn’t like.

And that’s what scares me and stops me from wanting to share. Because I see how people form their opinions. I see how they do it to other people. I see how they take something that someone said or did completely out of context and use it to from their whole opinion of that person. I see people do this in front of me all the time, and I don’t believe for a second that they don’t do it to me when I’m not in the room.

I know they do because I know they don’t have enough self control to stop themselves, or pick and choose who gets unjust criticism and who does not. It’s behavior that I’ve observed over and over again in strangers, friends, and family. 

And the thing is, I don’t want to give people any more ammunition than they already have by sharing everything that’s comes to my mind, and all of my intimate moments in this world. I don’t want to. But, I’m also burdened by an uncontrollable and burning desire to share and communicate with that small percentage of the population who actually has an open mind, and who is looking to connect. Because that’s what I want, and the medium that calls to me is writing.

So, I’m throwing caution to the wind, because I’ve decided that when I die, I will have lived a much more fulfilled, authentic, and enjoyable life if I just laid it all out, than if no one ever criticized me, misinterpreted what I said, or used my words against me.

So, on this website, I will continue to try to leave it all to bare.

A recent experience has changed my view on solving homelessness

I put in my first volunteer shift last week at a recuperative care center for the homeless in downtown Denver. The program and the facility are part of Coalition for the Homeless. During my two hour shift I helped serve dinner and clean up, and tried my best to be pleasant and welcoming to the clientele.

The recuperative care center works in collaboration with local hospitals. The hospitals can only hold patients for so long before they have to be discharged to make room for new patients. The problem is that, unlike you or I, when these patients are discharged they don’t have a place to go. So they end up back on the street, where it is challenging, if not impossible, to fully recover. Making it very likely that they’ll end up back in the hospital.

So, this left the hospital with a couple of choices.

Discharge them anyway and let them recover on the streets, knowing that the patient would be back soon;

or, 

Keep them in the hospital longer, which is expensive, and does not solve their need to free up beds;

or,

Partner with a recuperative care center and give their patients experiencing homelessness “safe, dignified, and quality spaces… to heal and stabilize from medical issues.”

Luckily, a number of hospitals have chosen the latter. The recuperative care center can house and care for up to 75 patients at one time.

The patients here are suffering from a plethora of acute injuries and illnesses. Everything from limb and digit amputations, wounds, broken bones and gun shots, to complications associated with chronic diseases such as cancer, diabetes, and stroke. The recuperative care center gives patients two weeks to recover in a new, clean, and comfortable facility, where they are provided three warm meals a day and a snack, and are able to engage in activities such as yoga, bingo, meditation, and poker night. 

If a patient needs more time to recover, then usually the facility can provide that to them. Repeat customers are common, as you might expect, and, at least from the handful of patients I spoke to, patients are always sad to leave. When they are finally discharged the recuperative care center does everything in its power to find them housing. But not everyone is so lucky, and many people end up back on the streets, only to return again one day.

Prior to moving to Los Angeles in 2019 I had very little understanding or involvement with people experiencing homelessness. But in Los Angeles, especially after the pandemic, the homeless issue was not something you could ignore. And like everyone, I had an opinion. 

My opinion was formed based on what I saw around me, and based on my experiences. In 2022 I joined a group of people and went to various encampments around the city to feed the individuals who lived there. What we witnessed was at times very hard to see, and it influenced my views.

Most of what I saw was a lot of people suffering my various mental disorders. For some people it appeared that substance abuse brought on the mental disorders, and in others the substances exasperated an existing condition. And for many of them, it looked like their mental condition and substance abuse had gone untreated for so long that I doubted if they could ever truly recover, and become a functioning member of society. I sympathized with all of them, but the prognosis was grim.

So when it came to the debate over building free housing or not, I leaned more towards the not side. I couldn’t see how without intensive mental interventions anyone I had met would all of a sudden thrive because they were given a home. It didn’t add up to me, and I felt strongly that we first needed to provide them with mental and physical support services, before we did anything else.

And I still believe that that is an extremely important first step in any plan, however, after just one shift at the recuperative care center, I now understand how important it is to also give people a place to call home.

Just looking around the halls and around the dining room at the recuperative center I saw a lot of the same “faces” that I saw in Los Angeles. Most of the patients I saw looked like they had lived on the streets for a long time, and had battled substance abuse at one time or another in their life.

But despite what felt familiar about the population, there was one thing that felt drastically different. The energy throughout the whole facility was completely serene. There was a sense of calm that I could feel radiating through these patients as they understood that for at least today, they didn’t have to fight to survive. That their nervous system could take a breath, and they could start to think about how to improve their situation, and focus on getting better.

There is tremendous value in bringing structure, routine, consistency, and predictability, into someone’s life, and surrounding them with a team of people who care. It’s something that those of us who have grown up with a safety net or a support system take for granted. I get to sleep easy knowing that if shit hits the fan and everything goes terribly wrong in my life, that there are at least three different houses that I would be welcomed into. And that’s being ultra-conservative.

For many of these people there is no one to catch them.

All volunteers are required to attend an online orientation before signing up for their first session. On my call was a young man from Louisiana. He said he grew up in a small rural town, and just recently moved to Denver. He lives in downtown Denver and said he had culture shock when we saw the homeless problem in real life. He said:

“Where I’m from we live in poverty, but there is no homeless population. There’s always somewhere for you to go, or someone to help.”

It was eye opening to hear, but not hard to understand why what he said made sense. In a small town where everyone knows everyone it is hard to walk by someone struggling. In a small town you don’t make assumptions about why someone is on the streets, chances are you know why or you know what that person is going through. In a small town the actions of a few can affect the lives of the majority. So not helping is not an option, lest you want it to impact you.

But in big cities across the country and around the world, the view is very different. Chances are you’ve never seen the person you’re stepping around on the side walk, or the guy you’re driving by holding a sign at the corner. In those situations it’s easy to make assumptions about how that person ended up there and why they’re unable to get it together. 

In a big city it is not your problem. There are hundreds of thousands or millions of other people and surely someone else must be helping. There is no reason why I should do anything. Someone else has got it. And regardless of the outcome, I’m able to continue on with my day.

These beliefs and views don’t work in a small town. It’s clear who’s getting help and who’s not. It’s hard to step around or drive by a face you recognize and have likely spoken to. The person or people living at the park or at the bus stop directly impacts you. There’s only one park, and you need to get to work.

We need to adopt small town mentalities in our big cities if we ever want to truly make an impact. We need to give people free and unlimited mental and physical therapy, and support services. And we do need to give people a place to call home. Whether it’s part of a larger program, or a place like the recuperative care center. They need a place where they can feel safe and heal.

My opinion hasn’t changed in that I don’t believe housing alone is the answer. But I do think that housing needs to be part of the solution.

Striking the work life balance

If you’re working so you don’t have to do anything, then what’s the point? If someone mows your lawn, cleans your house, watches your kids, does your laundry, and cooks your food (whether that means eating out or ordering in), then what is life really all about?

Everything in life requires a sacrifice. How much and what are you sacrificing by working more to make more money? How much joy are you missing out on? I know that these jobs, tasks, activities might not conjure images of happiness, joy, or fulfillment, but why is that? Why is the image of working hard to make more money looked upon with a smile, while the daily tasks required for our lives are not?

We’ve been conditioned to believe that doing these things are a waste of time. That they are beneath us, and that the dream is to be put yourself in a position where you can afford to have someone else do them. But I think that true happiness lies in performing these tasks. If only we approach them with the right perspective.

It feels really good to cook for yourself, your friends, or your family, or to look out over your lawn after you’ve cut and edged it just the way you wanted, or to pick a tomato or harvest some greens from your garden. They are small moments of fulfillment and accomplishment, a job completed for ourselves and maybe our family.

They are also an opportunity to slow down. They’re an opportunity to disconnect from the hustle and rapid fire of life, ad engage with what’s around us.

This question of “what is really the purpose of life?” and “how do I really want to spend my days?” is something a question I’ve asked myself so many times since leaving work 6 years ago. They’re questions I’ve been fortunate to even be able to consider. But it’s something I wish someone would have posed to me when I was working long hard hours and missing these moments. The only thing I made time for then was vacation. But those moments were few and far between, and fleeting. It wasn’t long before I was right back in the grind of things, waiting for my next opportunity to break out.

Meanwhile had I picked my head up and looked around, I could have found moments of joy every day.

Every now and then, usually when my investments aren’t doing well, like right now, I start to get anxious about not having a job and not having a source of income, and I start to question my decision to not work. And in response I start looking for work. But nothing is ever appealing to me (Sam Dogen says at some point after a long absence from work you become unemployable, and I agree) and it makes my anxieties worse. What will I do if things don’t turn around?

But it’s also around this time that something happens that reminds me why I’ve made the decision to not work. Today was one of those days.

I woke up, made coffee, wrote, set chicken to marinate in the fridge, and then worked out. Then my fiancé and I went to a hydroponic store to buy soil and flower trays. When we got back I helped my elderly neighbor who’s moving soon bring some boxes from her house into her garage to make the move easier. After that my fiancé and I hung out in the backyard. She seeded spinach and flowers, while I built two garden beds. At two o’clock I grilled the chicken, and then sat down for lunch. Tonight I’ll volunteer for a couple of hours at a recuperative center for the homeless.

As I sat down to lunch I realized that this day wouldn’t be possible if I had to be at work, and I asked myself, “what is the actual reason I’m looking for a job?” Isn’t it just about making money? And what would I be sacrificing in order to feel a little more secure? What is the actual tradeoff? How many moments and days like this would I be missing? How about all the things I love to do that I wouldn’t be able to if I was showing up to a job just to collect a pay check?

Now, I understand that it doesn’t have to be an all or nothing proposition. That I don’t have to go back to a full-time high stress job, and that even if I find myself in a job such as that I could always quit. I recognize that if I could find an enjoyable part-time job, it might allow me to have the best of both worlds. Financial security and time for the things that make me happy.

But I guess that’s the challenge we all face. Striking that balance between security and joy. And I guess that’s the question. What percentage change would be required to strike that balance? And would making that change, whether to allow more moments of joy, or in my case more financial security, materially impact your life? And, to take it a step further, what other unanticipated changes might start to occur as a result? It’s like the chicken and the egg. What has to come first?

If you want more time for the things you enjoy, you have to start by making more time. If you want to have more energy for the things you love, then you need to reallocate your energy expenditure.

I know it seems easy for me to say, but this wasn’t always my life. My life in the last 6 year has done a complete 180 from the 10 years before it. More of my adult life thus far has been spent thinking that working long hard hours to make even more money was the key. And it’s taken years for me to unwind that belief and realize that an alternative exists.

Big changes are the result of the accumulation of small changes over time. So what small change can you make today that will lead to the big change you dream of? It’s a hard question to answer. For me, I know it’s finding part-time work to bring some financial security and quiet the voice saying “get a job!” While protecting enough of my time to find the small joys in life.

A Word on Optimization

At what point does the cost of pursuing optimization begin to outweigh the benefits? At what point do we consider optimization achieved?

There’s such a push to try and optimize every aspect of our lives. Whole industries have been built on it. Careers made on it. But no one can really tell you where the curve starts to level off, and your efforts become futile, or even start to erode the progress you’ve made. But I have to believe that a life focused on optimization misses the point of life. 

It’s my opinion that if you exercise regularly, 3 - 5 times per week, and you eat a good diet, one that is rich in fruits, vegetables, lean meats and proteins, and devoid of added sugars and artificial ingredients (nothing processed) then you are at least 90 percent of the way there. If you’re sleeping well, which you likely are because you’re exercising and eating right, you’re even closer. Working a job you love, closer still. Maintaining close relationships with loved ones. You’re nearly at 100 percent.

So how much more of a role could vitamins play? Supplements? Hot and cold therapy? High intensity training? How much more is it going to add to your life? How many days, weeks, years will it add? How much better are you going to feel? One percent better? Two percent better? I take vitamins, supplements, and do different “health” modalities, and the difference between when I do them or not is negligible.

I’ve heard countless people say “when I stopped eating sugar I felt amazing.” “When I stopped eating bread, pasta, and processed food I felt amazing.” “Stopping drinking was the best thing I ever did.” “When I started exercising I felt amazing.” Whether that was walking, hiking, running, yoga, or strength training was irrelevant. And that’s been my experience as well.

But I’ve never heard anyone say “When I started taking my vitamins, I started to feel amazing.” “When I started waking up to view morning sunlight is when everything changed.” “Creatine changed my life.” It’s just not something I’ve ever heard.

Conversely, if you’re not eating right and exercising, then there is nothing you could ever do to feel amazing. No vitamins, supplements, medication, contrast therapy, or any other life hack that people and companies promote will give you that feeling that exercise and diet provides. And anything that does provide that benefit only lasts a short time and then wears off.

So I guess there’s two things I think about.

The first is personal. Why am I spending so much time and money on this dream of being “optimized” when I’m already as close to the pin as I can get. It’s like that old Jim Gaffigan joke. He goes to the gym, sees a bunch of really in shape people and say, “What are you doing here? You’re done.”

Second is societal. If careers and industry were built on getting people to eat right and exercise, instead of focusing on a small percentage of the population that are “optimizing,” how much better off would we be? I know it doesn’t work like that. Doing good was never the intention of capitalism, and the former is way harder than the latter. It’s way easier to say “take this pill,” then it is to educate people and give them resources to improve themselves. But it’s still the thing I think about and wonder.

We’re focused on optimizing a few while the masses could use a hand with the basics.

What’s the point?

That’s the question I have been asking myself a lot lately when things aren’t going as anticipated.

Take a recent ski trip for example. It’s coming to the end of the ski season in Colorado, so my fiance and I planned a trip to the mountains. The goal was to get there early and ski from first to last chair. But that’s not how it went.

We got a late start. We got into a fight the night before (over what I can’t even remember), and it ruined our night and pushed out bedtime back a couple of hours. And we both slept horribly, so we woke up late.

We didn’t get on the road until about 10 am (first chair is 9 am and we live, without traffic, 90 minutes from the mountain). We hit traffic almost immediately, and ended up at a dead stop for 45 minutes. Fortunately after we got moving again it was clear sailing. However, we it wasn’t until around 1 pm that we put in our first run.

To make a bad situation worse, it was spring break, so the mountain was packed, and lift lines were very long. It was 20 - 30 minutes between each run. By last chair at 4 pm we had put in no more than 5 runs. Not a very productive day. Not the day we had planned.

But what was the actual point of our trip? While the original intention was to get in one last full day of skiing before the season ended, wasn’t there another secondary reason that we planned this trip? An underlying reason for everything we do together. That’s what I started asking myself as we sat in traffic after leaving our house.

The point was as much about spending time together doing something fun, as it was about skiing. And once I began to see our day in that light, all of the stress of our fight the night before, the late start, traffic, and busy chair lifts started to roll off. It no longer mattered how much skiing we got in or what time we got to the mountain. What mattered was that we had the day to ourselves. We had the day together.

Perspective is such a powerful thing! It can literally turn what would normally have been a disappointing and stressful day into a great day together, despite none of my previous expectations being met. I think there’s always a view that we can take to make any situation better. It is not always easy to see, but I’ve been trying more and more to find that perspective shifting why. And the more I search for it, the easier it becomes to see. 

Another Reason for Universal Healthcare

And just like that UnitedHealth Group reduced the work required for patients to receive their medication. It’s as if there was no real reason for anyone to jump through these hoops to begin with. It’s as if all the requirements for reauthorizations were made up. As if they were only in place to make it difficult for people to receive their medication and deny or delay peoples prescriptions and save UnitedHealth Group money.

It seems that way, because it is.

Once you see the truth you can’t unsee it, and that’s how I feel here. After learning about universal healthcare systems in other developed countries around the world my views of healthcare in this country have totally changed. Perhaps the most eye-opening fact I learned was that in developed nations with universal healthcare insurers, whether they are private or public, are not allowed to deny or delay claims. I can’t help but see this situation through that lens.

The problem is that UHG, a for profit health insurer, is allowed to implement their own set of made up requirements that do nothing but make it more difficult for patients to receive medical services and medication. And the arbitrary nature of these requirements is confirmed by the fact that, after receiving some “pressure,” at a moments notice they can change those requirements. So much so that they anticipate a 25 percent reduction in paper work associated with reauthorizations for the 80 drugs they selected.

When you see that you have to ask the question: If they can so easily and quickly eliminate those requirements, then why were they there in the first place? And, what other “requirements” could just as easily and quickly be eliminated? How could insurance make it easier for doctors and patients to receive the care they need and are entitled to instead of making it more difficult?

It’s a big game to them. The prize is money. The consequence is suffering.

I know because I saw it firsthand after the company I worked for was acquired by UnitedHealth Group. The focus was never on patient outcomes or the level of care patients received. Not when it got in the way of profits. UHG executives didn’t fly in for meetings to discuss how patients were doing. They flew in to ask: why we weren’t making more money, how could we make more money, and when we would make more money.

I was never a proponent of universal healthcare, especially when I was working. It took me a long time to come around to it. Reading The Healing of America was the last piece for me. I realized I wasn’t a proponent of it because I didn’t understand it and because I had succumbed to the propaganda that opposed to. TR Reid’s book gave me the information I needed to understand how it could work, and why it was so important.

Healthcare is not something to mess around with, that suits in a board room should be pontificating on. Healthcare should be easily obtainable, accessible, and affordable for everyone. And people who actually study medicine should be making the decisions. Decisions shouldn’t be made based on their impact on a stock price.

From my time working under UnitedHealth Group I still own some shares of their stock. When their CEO was murdered, the stock took a dive. When the DOJ opened up an investigation into improper billing of Medicare it dove further, and it hasn’t recovered. I told my brother I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

“On the one hand, my stock is down 30 percent. On the other hand, UHG is finally getting what it deserves, and even though it hurts my wallet, I’m happy that they’re facing a reckoning.”

Ignoring the root cause in healthcare

Every book or long form podcast contains at least one gem of information, new perspective, or piece of context that shines new light on an old topic. That’s the opening sentence from my last post: War Good. Trump Bad. But the theme continued when listening to another Joe Rogan podcast (I’m on a Rogan roll). This one was with Chris Williamson.

They were discussing a wide range of topics when Chris dropped this piece of knowledge on me. He said that patients who undergo bariatric surgery have higher rates of suicide post surgery. The reason, he explained, was because obese patients get that way by using food as a coping mechanism for whatever trauma they are trying to deal with. No different than the way an alcoholic drinks, or a drug addict drugs. They are all dealing with the same thing, unaddressed trauma, their substance of choice just differs.

But when patients come out of bariatric surgery, and the size of their stomachs have been greatly reduced, they can no longer eat enough to sedate those depressed or anxious feelings. They can’t eat themselves into a “food coma” and feel ok. So, they turn to self harm. And it turns out, it’s true.

It’s another one of those things that after hearing makes so much sense, but not something I ever thought about before. Bariatric surgery is addressing the symptom of the disease. It’s addressing the weight gain, not the reason the patient gained so much weight in the first place. But the root cause of why they got that way is ignored.

I feel sad when I hear things like this. Because people turn to doctors, hospitals, and clinicians to help them with whatever ailments they face. And it’s the job of the practitioner to figure out what’s really going on, but most of the time they don’t. An obese patient needs to lose weight to save their life and improve their quality of life, but excess weight is not the underlying issue.

And while there are probably bariatric surgeons out there who address the whole problem, or try to by referring their patients to psychotherapy in addition to surgery, most physicians probably don’t. I worked in the system long enough to know how most physicians operate. And it’s not totally their fault.

Incentives are woefully mis-aligned. Surgery makes money, so hospitals and surgeons are incentivized to perform surgery. Spending time with a patient and coaching them to lose weight is not a money maker in the short term, so very few physicians put any real effort into it. 

It’s just another example of the failure of our healthcare system. It’s just another example of how we don’t address the root cause of issues in this country. We just try to cover them up or cut them out. Meanwhile the issue continues to lurk in the darkness waiting to rear its ugly head again.

A system that works for everybody is very badly needed in this country. A total realignment of healthcare’s incentive structures is very badly needed. So many people are suffering and not getting the help they need. Imagine if we had a system that actually worked for everyone. 

War good. Trump bad.

Every book or long form podcast contains at least one gem of information, new perspective, or piece of context that shines new light on an old topic. I was listening to Daryl Cooper on Joe Rogan. Daryl said, amongst many other insightful things, the reason that the youth so adamantly opposed the Vietnam war and protested against it, was because the war had the potential to directly impact their lives should they be drafted.

It was not simply a battle of ideology.

I heard that and a light bulb went off. The anti-war protests were not about saving Vietnamese lives. A group of people who in a far away land who most people had never even interacted with before in their life. It was about saving their own lives. Perhaps there was an anti-war undertone, but it was not the main motivation.

Suddenly a number of things made sense to me. Like why the U.S. government has been increasingly using military “contractors” in wars and foreign occupations. Why the military prefers unmanned drone strikes over ground invasions. It’s not because they are concerned with the loss of life, saving American soldiers. They’ve learned that when American’s are faced with the possibility of having to fight their unjust wars, it leads to unrest and protests.

Why more people aren’t outraged by the two war’s we’ve been funding over the past two years. We’re not directly impacted. Or at least we think we’re not, because we’re told we’re not.

There’s been an interesting parallel going on ever since Donald Trump’s inauguration, and the implementation of his drastic policy changes. In two months I’ve heard more complaints about Donald Trump and his policies than I heard in all four years of Biden’s presidency. This is despite the fact that under Biden’s leadership two wars broke that continue to threaten the safety and security of all those involved, and millions of people around the world as each conflict escalates.

Between Ukraine and Gaza it’s likely that at least a million people have perished. Millions more Ukrainians and Gazans have been displaced. Over $200 billion of U.S. tax payer money has been sent overseas to aid in the devastation. And yet over the course of 4 years I never once heard any unsolicited complaints about Joe Biden and his leadership. Not once.

But now I hear it about Donald Trump regularly. The cashier at the grocery store. People I volunteer with. Friends I grew up with. And everyone in between.

There’s two reasons for this. One, coverage in the media. Two, how media frames all of Trump’s policy changes. Every move he makes is covered relentlessly, and every move he makes is positioned as a threat to Americans. Tariffs. DOGE. The Department of Education. And some of it might be, although I have my doubts.

But contrast that to how the war in Ukraine and conflict in Gaza are being covered. In Ukraine we are funding a necessary war to fend off the evil Russian Empire and Vladimir Putin. In Gaza we are continuing to fight the war on terror. If we don’t fight these wars, then our freedoms, sovereignty, and safety will be in jeopardy!

Increasingly people don’t know what they believe. They are told what to believe, adopt it as their own and regurgitate it. But one thing is true. People are selfish. They care about what affects them and what’s good for them. And so as long as the media continues to tug at this string, the people will continue to support war and fear Trump.

Crazy.

ETFs vs Individual Stocks

I was looking at my portfolio yesterday and I realized that right now it provides the clearest example of the benefits of owning a total market ETF, like VTI, although there are many, versus owning individual stocks.

VTI, is the example since it’s the one I own, is comprised of over 3,500 different equities, which makes periods of volatility, like the one we’re experiencing right now, a little easier to stomach.

My Vanguard ETF is only 8% off its 52 week highs, while the rest of my portfolio is 16 - 19% of their highs, exception made for Tesla which is nearly 50% lower.

True for me that the majority of my money is concentrated into VTI, so even a 8% drop off is felt pretty hard in the wallet. But still it’s better than 16%, or 50% in the case of Tesla, had I continued to maintain large dollar amounts in those positions.

That’s the benefit. That when the market corrects, and certain equities, Tesla, or industries, tech, drag the market down, the diversity of an ETF will help soften the blow. If you are a risk averse person, that’s the reason, one of the reasons, to focus on segmental or total market ETFs. It takes the guess work out of stock picking, and it also makes the lows easier to tolerate.

The other reason as far I’m concerned to own only ETFs, or to have ETFs make up a majority of your portfolio, is because it creates less of a headache. Instead of managing and following 10 individual stocks, or 20+ like I used to, you can narrow your focus to just a few and maintain a better understanding of what’s happening in the market as a result. You just have less to track, and unless investing is your full time gig, then when it comes to equities, it’s been my experience that less is certainly more.

But it is true there is a flip side. While VTI, or any broad market ETF, might not plummet as sharply as an individual stock might, it also isn’t going to increase as drastically either. My VTI holdings show a 53% gain over the lifetime I’ve owned it, while some of my individual stocks show 100%+, and unicorns like Tesla stands at 1,380%, and has been the gift that keeps on giving.

But those aren’t gains that are easy to come by or easy to predict. I’ve been very fortunate with my timing of the market. The large chunk of my investment into the market started in 2019. Depending on which index you view, Dow, S&P, or Nasdaq, the gains over the last 5 years have either been just under 100% or in excess of 125%. A lot of luck. You can’t time the market.

Whatever your appetite is for investing, I think anyone that is not in the market is missing out on the opportunity to make “free” money (taxes will be due when you eventually sell). So I don’t view being in the market or not as a choice. It’s a must for anyone who wants their money to grow.

Having said that, you do have a choice when deciding how to invest. If you don’t think you’re a person who can handle volatility, than an ETF is the route for you. If you’re someone who is going to dedicate time each day to monitoring the market and have an appetite for risk, then individual stocks might be for you. And if you’re somewhere in the middle, then consider a mix of both (like me right now).

But with the market returning on average 8-9% per year (including the low valleys and high peaks), not being involved is not an option. All the richest people in the world own stocks, and all the richest people in the world control the world, and therefore the market. They have a vested interest in making sure it goes up and to the right. You might as well jump on board.